Friends wedding advice

absolutned

hoping im allowed to ask some advice here, not sure where else to ask it. long-time occasional reader of the forums, only just registered...

a friend proposed to his girlfriend recently, and im terrified to think he might be going to ask me to be his best man. setting aside my propensity for nearly killing myself leading up to a stressful event (public speaking/presentations in particular, and most recently, an important meal which kept me up the two nights prior and had me throwing up before and very nearly during), i don't even think i know him well enough or am the right man for it.

* i dont drink, and have a very sideways view of "fun", so my organisation of a stag event would be laughable.
* ive only known him 4/4.5 years, but his other friends moved about 3 years ago so we became closer. all the other people knew him many years before i did, and easily have more interesting stories than me.
* im chronically disorganized and i cant imagine taking such a large and varied set of responsibilities on.
* i dont really like weddings so being involved in one isnt very appealing.

he might not even ask me, but right now im bricking it. ive read stories elsewhere about best men who couldnt hack it and ended up spending the whole day in the bar before slurring through their speech and passing out, and i dont wanna be that guy. how could i tell him no without sounding like a prat?

savingmummy

IF he asks just explain how honoured you are his thought of you BUT you couldnt due to all your problems!
Is he aware of how you are? if so a friend wouldnt put you in the situation where you would feel awkward.

ETA: your not a pratt at all so please don`t think that!

sophief333

the first guy my husband asked to be his best man said no for having exactly the same concerns as you! my husband completely understood and asked someone else! didn't cause any problems with their friendship!

Sally_A

Don't panic, if it's not your thing, and you are asked, tell him sooner rather than later.

Your sideways thinking could put some good input into the stag do, the ones I still laugh about seeing are Life of Brian, all wear togas and "follow the sandal"; where's Wally?, and I remember meeting a Bananaman in Prague - poor bogger - in a tight yellow lycra get up.

belfastgirl23

Say no!!! And explain why.

Just cos you're asked doesn't mean you have to do it.

I have ot say though if public speaking scares you quite that much you need to do something about it! You can't avoid it forever and whllst you can say no to a friend it's harder if it's a relative.

CH27

If you explain your reasons i'm sure he will understand.

Sambucus_Nigra

I've got a great line for these situations; 'Much as I would love to, [insert darned good excuse here - like 'I'd be a quivering wreck, like the time I fainted just before going on stage] so I'm really chuffed that you asked me and really wished I could but I decided back then never ever to get into a situation like that again. Sorry'.

Valli

If you are such a panicker why not tell him you assume he'll be asking his brother/cousin/best mate (name) to be best man...and get it over with then you're not worrying for now;)

Mrs_P_Pincher

Our first choice best man said he was very flattered, but he didn't think he could do it - I think it was the thought of making some sort of speech and proposing a toast that he couldn't deal with.

We asked someone else and he did a great job - but he was the golf club type.

If he asks you, just be honest about how you feel. If he's a proper friend it will be fine.

Mrs P P