Is it just me or does anyone else feel like this?

MinniMe_2

morning all,

I probably just need to get it off my chest so sorry in advance.

Firstly, don't get me wrong, I can't wait to marry my OH BUT everyone keeps telling me that I should be enjoying planning the wedding and the I should know what I want - and the truth is, I'm not enjoying planning it and I don't really know what I want.

I know everyone (MUM, MIL) all have ideas of what it should be - and are more than happy to tell me - BUT I am just finding the whole thing really a bit like a chore.

Is it just me?

MissPixie

No it is not just you I was like that for month because it is such hard work it gets a bit boring. At the end of the day as long as you come out of it married nothing else really matters. If you are struggling to decide what you want and you think your decisions are being influenced a lot by others sit down with your OH and each of you make a list including things you absolutely must have, things you would like but are not essential and anything you are not that bothered about or definitely do not want.

Your family are bound to have opinions I have found the best way round it is to go along with little things they want that you don't really care about either way but when they start pushing it too far to just keep saying no they give up eventually when they realise you won't back down!

Minimoo24

if you dont know what you want - then you just got to keep looking.
Im finding it hard to have to wait to do stuff, i want it all done so i know its sorted but in the same respect i am enjoying it. I like making and planning etc but i do want it over with and just to be married, it feels forever away! (Sept 2012) Chin up xxx

floss2

MinniMe wrote: »

morning all,

I probably just need to get it off my chest so sorry in advance.

Firstly, don't get me wrong, I can't wait to marry my OH BUT everyone keeps telling me that I should be enjoying planning the wedding and the I should know what I want - and the truth is, I'm not enjoying planning it and I don't really know what I want.

I know everyone (MUM, MIL) all have ideas of what it should be - and are more than happy to tell me - BUT I am just finding the whole thing really a bit like a chore.

Is it just me?

What does your fiance want? Does he want a big do or small & intimate? Home or abroad? Just fmaily & close friends or the world & his dog? DJ or band?

Maybe you need to remove yourself from "wedding world" for a few days and talk together about what you both enjoy doing, your shared and individual interests, your shared life together and the sort of people you are. Then you may be able to form a better idea of what you both want for your wedding day.

Rahven

I could have written your post myself

People keep asking me what the 'theme' is for the wedding. Erm, I don't know I just want to get married! Themes etc work great for some and I've seen some amazing ones but I'm just not bothered about it myself yet people look at you weirdly when you say it!
I think OH and I are just too laid back really. When we wrote a list of what we wanted out of this we came up with:
- To be married
- A great day with happy memories
- Everyone else to have fun
- BBQ instead of sit down formal meal
- An amazing honeymoon (we're treating it as the holiday of a lifetime - we have budgeted as much for it as we have for the wedding :j:j:j)

Are you perhaps feeling overwhelmed with all there is to do? Maybe take a look at a good wedding planning timeline to see what essentials need to be done when and then take it a bit at a time?

becca0417

The hardest thing about weddings is other people. Everyone has an opinion on what you should have and sometimes I take a step back and think "our day, our way" because else you get caught up in it all.
Hope things ease up for you x

tiny_courageous

No it's not just you.

I've stopped discussing it with anyone except my OH now, and if anyone asks how the plans are going, I just say "fine" and change the subject.

jemb

Rahven wrote: »

I could have written your post myself

People keep asking me what the 'theme' is for the wedding. Erm, I don't know I just want to get married! Themes etc work great for some and I've seen some amazing ones but I'm just not bothered about it myself yet people look at you weirdly when you say it!
I think OH and I are just too laid back really. When we wrote a list of what we wanted out of this we came up with:
- To be married
- A great day with happy memories
- Everyone else to have fun
- BBQ instead of sit down formal meal
- An amazing honeymoon (we're treating it as the holiday of a lifetime - we have budgeted as much for it as we have for the wedding :j:j:j)

Are you perhaps feeling overwhelmed with all there is to do? Maybe take a look at a good wedding planning timeline to see what essentials need to be done when and then take it a bit at a time?

I got asked about my theme from MOH as she was doing invites, I said wedding??? :rotfl:

ac085

jemb wrote: »

I got asked about my theme from MOH as she was doing invites, I said wedding??? :rotfl:

I may have to steal that as it is GENUIS!

MinniMe, you are not alone in feeling like that. I'm getting fed up that anyone I speak to asks about the planning and then tells me I'm doing something wrong or that I should have done x y and z by now.
My MIL2B is the worst for it. I get on with her but when it comes to our wedding it's not so good.
She has loads of ideas and gets upset if I don't use them. If I tell her my ideas she says 'oh. thats nice, but...' But if I were to get upset I'd be being Bridezilla of course.
There should be MotherinlawZilla!

MinniMe_2

Thank you all soo much.

I guess things were just getting to me a bit this morning and I needed to know it was normal - I agree completely - people look at you funny when you say no I haven't had it all planned for years!

My OH just keeps saying that he wants me to have the perfect day so its whatever I want - gets really annoying really quickly! I have already compromised on a few things - I wanted small and away but OH family is too big so we are having about twice the number I wanted and having it near his family.

oc085 - are you sure we don't have the same MIL2B!! she was on the phone with me for an hour and a half last night! Its not that we don't get on -we do and she is lovely but she is a women possessed when it comes to the wedding! keeps sending me ideas - which she knows is not what I want - but is what she wants.

Rahven - I am the same with theme - I don't know I just want to become MRS OH and have a really lovely day - with no upsets and everyone having fun. The I get worried that there is something wrong with me because I don't know what a theme really is or what I want my theme to be! JEMB - I am soooo stealing that line!

Thanks all - it really does help to know I'm not alone!

Scotsbride

why do you feel you need a theme anyway have something that's special to you and your OH. you probably know what colurs you do and don't like! if you see something you like save it to your favourites or cut it out a build up a scrap book. I found this helped me get into my head what I did and didn't want I have to say saying no this is not what i want or it's our wedding when people are being pushy about their ideas harder!