Fostering - Your ideas & thoughts

scaredy_cat_2

hi just a thought but as an alternative to fostering - have you thought about respite care? We did it for a little while before we had children. It was a for a family with a little boy with autism and basically we had him one night a week for tea straight from school til about 7 and sometimes on a weekend for a day and then every month/two months we had him for a long or short weekend. the process was still lengthy about 9 meetings with social work to help her fill in report and then a panel interview. It is less of a committment time wise but provides invaluable support for families needing a little respite. might be an alternative, good luck.

crawley_girl

I went through the process of becoming a 'supported lodgings provider' via social services similar to what Vickicb described above and Smashing too.

You get allocated a worker who spends time getting to know you and building up a profile on you and your lifestyle. This took about 8 hrs in total over 3 months. I then went to panel which involved approx 10 people interviewing me about the reasons why I wanted to do this and what I could offer. Can honestly say that this was the most scary moment of my life!

I was accepted but due to a massive career change, the time just wasn't right for me especially in that I would be working shifts and be away from home for huge amounts of time. I am still on their books and they contact me from time to time to see if my situation has changed but frankly, I feel that the timing is not right and would want to be able to commit myself 110% and I just can't do that now.

PM if you want any further details, would be happy to chat it over.

:heartpuls CG :heartpuls

immoral_angeluk

Personaly I couldn't. I already have a little girl and another due in just over 2 weeks and I think it would disrupt their lives too much. If we didn't have children and weren't able to have any of our own then I'd consider it.

poppycracker

My parents fostered, both in London and on Skye. I agree with everyone who's said that it's tough and invasive, and that your lives will be turned upside down, but there are some positives. Mum and Dad stopped fostering when I was 16 and my brother and I were heading for important exams.

We were registered for 2 kids at a time, but often ended up with more (two families of four each at different times) and a lot of the kids had emotional problems because our social worker knew that Mum was experienced and that her kids were well adjusted enough to deal with the disturbance. THe best bit about the kids we got was the difference we saw in the them between arriving and leaving. That's worth all the upheaval and the bad times IMO.

Spendless

My relative did it and fostered a teenage girl who was a year older than her daughter (an only child). I had huge reservations about it, from how my relative would manage, having never been used to having 2 children, about how she would manage foster daughter who had had a far different up-bringing to her own daughter, and how relatives daughter would manage having a 'live-in sibling' when she'd been used to it just being her and her mum. It didn't work out. Do you have any children of your own?

Jet

It's a great idea but if you and your husband foster just be aware that your husband should never be alone with the foster children (not even upstairs and in a different room), he won't be able to take the children out alone or with other people. This is to protect him from possible accusations of abuse. This effectively means that as the woman, you will be expected to full time carer 24 hours a day, every day.

You have to get written permission from the parent (that will be the one that's not fit enough to look after their own children!) to get the childs hair cut or visit the dentist.

Support from social services is a bit hit and miss (probably due to lack of resources) adn the registration process is very invasive and personal.

But... seeing a child blossom once in your care is the most fantastic reward. If you don't have children of your own at home - I would say go for it! If you do, it needs a lot of thought.

JET34

In answer to you question fostering can be very rewaring and all people will have different experence's, My mum goes to loads of meetings,training, medical's, in some case's therpy, review's, support group's as well as the usual parent's evening's, educational meeting's...... in other words it's hard work!!:o

(You have to get written permission from the parent (that will be the one that's not fit enough to look after their own children!) to get the childs hair cut or visit the dentist.)

I am not sure about this, My Mum has been a fostercarer for well over 20 yrs and although I know that the system is/can be really daft I don't think it is alway's the case my mum has two boys at the moment and they both go to the dentist and have there hair cut without parental permission. I would have thought that it depends on the care order placed on the child.

lynzpower

It's a great idea but if you and your husband foster just be aware that your husband should never be alone with the foster children (not even upstairs and in a different room), he won't be able to take the children out alone or with other people. This is to protect him from possible accusations of abuse. This effectively means that as the woman, you will be expected to full time carer 24 hours a day, every day.

im sorry to disagree here but this isnt true.

Many single men and gay male and female couples have very successfully adopted and fostered where I work. I worked very closely with one gay couple ( male) and one single male who fostered, and I have never heard anything like this.

Any allegation should be investigated, to anyone regardless of gender. Women can be abusers after all of course.

as for males not being alone with children, I have certainly never heard this ( see above) as fostering is designed to offer children who have had poor relationships with adults the opportunitity to build good quality positive relationships with carers of both genders. For many children having a supportive relationship with a male carer is fundamental to understanding the world around them and learning balanced and positive relationships, particularly where they have experienced extensive abuse with previous carers/ parents.

I jsut didnt want anyone to be put off by this thats all

If this is waht you were told in the process, I would be speaking to CSCI and reporting this as sexist, offensive and an abuse of the right to private family life, and against the equlity legislation which guides childrens legislation.

HTH
Lynz
x