Please have a look at my SOA

Wkdwill

MissShoes wrote: »

Nothing for presents or entertainment?

At the moment nothing is budgeted but once the credit is gone it will have to be budgeted for, so I'm looking at what would be considered as a reasonable amount to put down on my soa.

cyclura

Please dont tell me he is looking after the children under the influence, if you are there too and not drinking then fair enough but ifhes alone looking after children intoxicated then he really needs help and to take a look in the mirror. Whqat happens if one needs to go to A and E? hes with the kids alone and has had 2 pints of beer for example. This is not a dig at you or your lifestyle btw just a view from an outsider.


With regards to his drink you can buy a tin of beer and make your own, it costs about 10 quid and makes about 36 pints after you have smashed 4 bottles or so :rotfl: trying to cap them (speaking from experience). The initial outlay is not that bad really, one brewing bucket (I just use a white food grade bucket) one long handled metal spoon, some steralising tablets, some brewing sugar, and 40 beer bottles and caps and capper or a barrel which are cheap enough second hand or from your local brewer shop. Once you get the hang of these tins you can go the extra hog and make from scratch if you want which is even cheaper and fun.

Tell him he is only allowed 2 beers a night and only buy/get out enough for 2 beers a night. Reduce this to one beer a night in the week after a few weeks. You do need to sit him down and show him everything and then show him how much better off you will be if he just cuts his beer down a bit and/or you hoem brew.

Wkdwill

It's not often he's left alone with the kids, when he is he takes it easy and will only have two, although when I'm about it wouldn't make a difference as I don't drive, I've brought it up many times before (if we need to go to a&e) but it's never fazed him.

koloko

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Pollycat

Wkdwill wrote: »

At the moment nothing is budgeted but once the credit is gone it will have to be budgeted for, so I'm looking at what would be considered as a reasonable amount to put down on my soa.

Wkdwill
Work out what you usually spend on your kids, parents, OH etc for Christmas and birthdays, then divide by 12 to get your monthly figure.

Work out what you spend when you go out, either with the kids at weekends or during the school holidays or as a family.

Thinking about it, this £130 your OH spends on drink ought to be put under entertainment rather than groceries, although that's really just movong numbers around.

cyclura wrote: »

Please dont tell me he is looking after the children under the influence, if you are there too and not drinking then fair enough but ifhes alone looking after children intoxicated then he really needs help and to take a look in the mirror. Whqat happens if one needs to go to A and E? hes with the kids alone and has had 2 pints of beer for example. This is not a dig at you or your lifestyle btw just a view from an outsider.


With regards to his drink you can buy a tin of beer and make your own, it costs about 10 quid and makes about 36 pints after you have smashed 4 bottles or so :rotfl: trying to cap them (speaking from experience). The initial outlay is not that bad really, one brewing bucket (I just use a white food grade bucket) one long handled metal spoon, some steralising tablets, some brewing sugar, and 40 beer bottles and caps and capper or a barrel which are cheap enough second hand or from your local brewer shop. Once you get the hang of these tins you can go the extra hog and make from scratch if you want which is even cheaper and fun.

Tell him he is only allowed 2 beers a night and only buy/get out enough for 2 beers a night. Reduce this to one beer a night in the week after a few weeks. You do need to sit him down and show him everything and then show him how much better off you will be if he just cuts his beer down a bit and/or you hoem brew.

I think that Wkdwill knows that the amount spent on drink is causing big budget problems and a number of us have made that point but I don't think this is the right time or place to be talking about him looking after children - but that's just my opinion.
If this thread was on the Marriages board, I'd see it differently.

Wkdwill

koloko wrote: »

With respect to your finances (the reason you came on here), you are very close to bankruptcy. You could cut down on a number of different aspects, but I fear they wouldn't be enough. One of the only sustainable solutions I can see is that you need to find part time employment

With respect to the drinking, under any medical definition your OH is an alcoholic and 70 units of alchol a week is endangering his health. (avg 3.5 cans per weekday and 9 cans per weekend day). Alcoholism is a chronic, often progressive disease, and, like many other diseases, it has a generally predictable course, recognized symptoms, and is influenced by both genetic and environmental factors that are being increasingly defined. I recommend that you seek help for him.

Thanks, I have been looking for work for a long time now, Dh is home from work at 3pm so I can work after then, I've applied for everything available to me including nights, but as of yet nothing has come of it. Full time work isn't an option due to childcare costs (the kids are 2 and 4) and we don't live close to family so they can't help out with looking after the kids either. I don't think it helps that I have been a SAHM for the last 4 years, no one seems interested, I've done a few free courses though and gained level 2 English and maths which might improve my cv somewhat.

With regards to bankruptcy would this involve just me going bankrupt or both of us, I'm not totally off the idea of bankruptcy but I need a budget and to stick to it, I don't want DH to see it as a new start, I want it to be a lesson learnt and for us to live within our means, it's easy for me to say I'll stick to it but when I'm the only one that will it'll be hard.

Pollycat

Wkdwill wrote: »

With regards to bankruptcy would this involve just me going bankrupt or both of us, I'm not totally off the idea of bankruptcy but I need a budget and to stick to it, I don't want DH to see it as a new start, I want it to be a lesson learnt and for us to live within our means, it's easy for me to say I'll stick to it but when I'm the only one that will it'll be hard.

Wkdwill
I'm personally out of my depth on talk of bankruptcy so maybe you would be better asking questions on the specific Bankruptcy board.

Wkdwill wrote: »

When I first spoke to cccs they said it may be an option, now DH and family and friends say its what we should be doing.

I'm slightly concerned about this.
I'm sure that bankruptcy is not something to be entered into lightly and unless your OH, friends and family have all been through it (or at least looking into the pros and cons pretty closely), it's maybe not the best sort of advice for them to give and you to take.

It's all well and good your OH saying you should go bankrupt but he's spending over 10% of the money he earns on alchol every month.

Whatever you do, I wish you well.
You sound like a really nice person who's trying hard to make ends meet.