Help me get sorted please

lil_me

Hi and welcome, I am sort of in the same situation, been battling with illness for 5 years now just after my youngest was born I took ill and it all seemed to go out of control from there, just recently things have started getting better and I am trying to regain control of my life and sort what has literally been 'left behind' because I have been poorly. I really know where you are coming from, but nothing is impossible, it just takes a little time. You're not superwoman and noone expects you to be (talking from someone who thought she had to be for a long time)

Right I shall try to start from the bits I noticed in your post that stood out to me, and go from there.

I have been ill the last few years and am finally on minimal medication.
I now find that i am feeling back to normal without me even noticing there is now no routine in our home and we seem to be wasting food (thowing out of date stuff away and cooking to much) Easy starting point, make a list of what you throw out and what it is worth, basically it'll scare the pants of you into changing it, been there too! You can show this to your partner and say look over x amount of time that is worth x which would have paid for x (say something he likes not shoes!), most men like figures and figures I find, and takes this before they think right need to do something

We have tried routines before but OH works shifts and we can't seem to stick to them.
Just because he can't stick to a routine doesn't mean you can't.
We try to write a shopping list but seem to also buy what we fancy.tried doing menus but don't fancy the meal by the time we get to it.
I do meal plan but not rigid, I put down what we can have out of what I have in (and make a list of what I need to go with it) Too rigid with days for specific foods just doesn't suit us. We just pick something off the menu like a restaurant! Eg I have 2 pots of bolognese in frezer made, can easily do many things with, lasagne, canneloni, spice it up and do a mexican meal as burrittos etc, or just plonked on a jacket potato with salad, see what I am getting at ?

What do other people run there weeks etc?

I have a to do daily list, and a weekly one, and a one that is odd jobs that can be done later and things like decorating, but in order of priority, I could email you these which you can edit to your own choices, each one has a tick box next to it where you can tick or initial when done, that way you get to see you actually do a huge amount aswell, even if it sometimes doesn't look it/feel it

We also never seem to have any spare time and seem to spend all our time either shopping,bickering or cleaning.
Shopping may be easier for you online, that way can do when your partner is out (giving you more time together) also takes away the temptation to grab lots of extras. Cleaning will be easier once you get a routine. Bickering may reduce when you sort the rest, and ive yourselves some quality time together
We don't seem to see anyone as everyone lives to far away and when we are free and OH is home as i dont drive everone else is busy.
Know how you feel and something even though I do drive, I have learned to almost live without, tend to have one night with a friend once every month or so but being ill and having a son with a disability leaves it a bit restricting. Have you tried toddler groups or surestart ones in your area since feeling better ?

I feel like a finally got my health in some level of normality and everything else now needs all sorting out and dont no where to start.
Start at the beginning, slowly, and recognise your personal achievements, I love my charts as it's a look what I have done

I just seem to be going around in circles.i am a naturally organised person but
Never mind the buts, I couldn't organise a p*ss up in a brewery so I envy you completely having this natural skill, just need to use it!


You will catch up, like I said just takes time, Rome wasn't built in a day, be patient and know what you want and eventually it will all come together.

All this is just my opinion of course and you can tell me to stick it where the sun doesn't shine if you like.

Thinking of you

vivaladiva

The store cupboard basics idea is sound. I often menu plan for a week, but not particular things for set days. If you can plan basic ingredients so you can kind of mix and match - if you see what I mean. (Chicken could mean curry, stir fry, pie, casserole, etc)

vivaladiva

Ooops cross posted with lil-me - and I think she oput it better than me!

Silver_Lilly

Thank you all of you.I think you are right i need to go slowly and let myself enhjoy things more.My home is super tidy and i half thnk its my controlled orgainsed nature that is part of the problem i can't let myself go.I can't stand things going to waste or not being planned out in advance but this probably does mean that we miss out on being spontaneous when we can.
I just think more structure to the day might stop me running around keeping things just so and then leaving no time to relax.when i do stop i am up within a few minutes doing something else.

lil_me

My partner always says the only time you sit still is to look on eBay or post on that forum, I was doing washing up et as I ate breakfast this morning :rotfl:

I find routine is my key, and when that goes I go all to pot, but also if it gets too rigid life and me gets boring, so I try to go with it a little. Hence the listing so I can keep up to date with what is done and know what needs doing, but also not set out with time etc same with the meal plans.

Decide what you need to be rigid and organised, and what you can be more flexible with, we are all creatures of habit after all, just some like me pick up the bad ones along the way.

nicola1982_2

Toxic_Lemon wrote:

I'm useless at house stuff! But, I think the first thing you should do is boost your self-esteem. Realise how much you have achieved health wise and be happy about that! Next, make some time each week for YOU time. A simple face mask, home manicure, anything that gives you a few minutes pampering time to yourself. Then, ensure you have the support of hubby - you need him to work with you on this and do his part/share, if he isn't already.

That done, you'll be in a better place/frame of mind to accept the advice others will soon be giving you below me! Best of luck to you!

I totally concur with you TL. After uni I found it so difficult to cope with reduced time! I got into the habit of having a long soak in the tub with a good book at least once a week - therefore clearing out my mind before bed. I also wrote everything in a book - from to do lists to worries in my head, that way I never wasted valuble energy trying to remember stuff and worries appear smaller on paper.

magnolia65

Silver lilly I could have wrote your post myself. Been there for the last 4+ years just now starting to want to get back to normal in the house and keep on top of things. I'm not all there myself at the moment with housework but I have started by keeping one room nice and tidy and working onto the next. At the moment I'm keeping the lounge and hall and my bedroom really nice and tidy and if the rest don't look too good then so what

As for shopping I'm sure others will be better to advise you on that as they all here seem to have this shopping routine off to a tee and I'm still not quite there yet,

It will all come back together in time.

Silver_Lilly

i have stsrted with the meal plan that most of the time seems to be working .and am helping out a friend with childcare a few times a month which means on those days i have to get out of the house on time.
i still find it hard to tell if i am over doing things though i.e i anti bac the kitchen and table after everymeal.
How do people plan their own routine in a day or week?
Also re flylady how does that work ive looked and it seems to say i have to have yahoo email address first.
i am trying to just do things instead of thinking them though too much and be happy with the decisions we have made and appreciate what weve got instead of constantly striving to do something better.

lil_me

The flylady challenge we have been doing on here is slightly different http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=338109&page=44 come and join us if you like.

Yahoo email addresses are free if you want to use one, I registered with my AOL one for the Flylady, but do it on here instead. I also have my own daily lists and weekly lists which I find work well. If you want a copy of them I could email you them, then you can edit to suit yourself.

Wouldn't go OTT with Anti bac, the more it's used the more bugs become resistant to it, and the more things like MRSA we'll end up with. Just a wipe over most of the time should do, thorough clean at other times, I do mine as I clear the plates etc.

natzini

I'm ill too and we're really struggling... if I have the energy to do things, I try and do them, but lately I've found that by pushing myself too much, i've made myself more ill.

I usually write a list of things to do the night before and then evaluate it in the morning... I make sure that the top priorities are done, and if I'm not well enough to do the rest, then I don't.

When I'm working again we will be getting a dishwasher, so that'll make things easier for us.

I tried to start FlyLady but was ashamed with myself compared to what other people were managing so have stopped, and deal with things in my own way, although I usually do it in 10-15 minute chunks, similar to FL.

Food wise we are living out of the freezer and store cupboard at the moment, once I'm earning again then we can start worrying about our 5 a day and supporting local producers more.

It's so frustrating though and am sending lots of hugs, I think we 'sick' people need to stick together, and show people we are not 'lazy'!