Marriage break-up, housing association, but not on tenancy

stayingupright

It looks (finally) that my marriage may be ending. We have a 1yr old DD and I'm pregnant.

I live in my husband's house (was council - who transferred all their housing stock to a new HA).

The tenancy is in my husband's sole name. It was the house he lived in with his first wife, and son (now grown and left home).

The tenancy was originally joint between his wife & him, but he had his wife's name taken off after she left.

I had my own house (council then HA), which I gave up when I moved in with him.

We've been married for 2 yrs this autumn, and I moved in with him last year (after his son moved out).

I'm worried as I know that as it's his house I have no rights, and I'm scared that he'll use the fact that he has a house (along with decorated bedroom etc) to keep our daughter... as I'll be homeless.

Any advice? I feel so stupid giving up my house and now having to start again, but cannot face leaving daughter, but he will throw me out

theartfullodger

Where are you? In Scotland you have special rights "

stayingupright

I'm in England, unfortunately

thegirlintheattic

I would get in touch with CAB and they can hopefully point you in the right direction to some temporary housing where you can have your daughter. Also get in touch with the council, if your husband is kicking you out you might be able to be placed somewhere with them as you'll be homeless. If you have the money, consider looking for two-bed rentals.

If your husband is not being nasty at the moment, try to stay in the house with your daughter for as long as possible. If he legally wants to get you out, it can be a long process, so stick it out as long as possible until you have somewhere sorted then move to the new place with your daughter. Take everything you really need (clothes, all your financial documents, passport, bank cards) at that time because you may not get access to the house again.

Also get in touch with a solicitor and get the ball rolling on the divorce and custody.

As long as you can get a (rented) roof over your head which has two bedrooms, the court shouldn't have a problem with custody from the housing aspect. They will not take into account that there is a decorated bedroom at your husbands house.

Hope it works out, there are also lots of people over at Mumsnet who have been through this and can give advice.

stayingupright

I can't afford to privately rent.

I'd hoped that being married gave me some additional protection - such as spousal rights, and that in terms of the law it wouldn't be seen as 'his' house (my sister is getting divorced, her DH pays all the mortgage, but he cannot get her to leave - I'd hoped I'd have some rights like this).

Thing is he won't let me take DD, and I CANNOT leave without her... it's so unfair... I gave up my house (which I'd had for 18 years), DH made me give away all my furniture, ornaments.. bits & bobs I'd gathered over that time (in a way my life), when I moved in with him.

I've bought all of DD's furniture (in fact everything she has), frojm my savings, as DH has all the money, and I spent £3000 of my savings on buying new furniture for DH, now to have to leave with nothing (buying everything for DD over the last year has left me with nil savings), and for DH to use this against me - in that he has a settled home for DD, but because I live in his 'house' I will have to leave.... for him to gain residency of DD, for him to have left me homeless & skint... I just can't bear it

pmlindyloo

Here is an excellent article on relationship breakdown and housing. Please have a read:

http://england.shelter.org.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0020/23393/Advice_booklet_relationship_breakdown.pdf

I would agree with the suggestion that you could get in touch with CAB for further help and support but this article will give you a good idea about everything involved.

I know you are feeling anxious but there will always be an answer and CAB should be able to guide you.

SAMMYE_2

Go and speak to the Council and citizens advice asap.

Sorry to hear about your problems but its probably for the best and you will get through it. x

thegirlintheattic

Things like who bought what will be settled in the divorce, please do contact CAB or the council, if you don't have the money to rent, they will point you in the direction of safe housing and give you advice for taking your daughter.

CAB can advise you on the legalities of staying, not sure if being married offers you protection in rented accommodation, if it does your husband can still get an occupation order to kick you out.

The main thing is do not leave the house until you have you essential items, your daughter and somewhere to go. Even if this means taking a day off work whilst your husband is out and leaving then.

Ayelet

Maybe I am being silly as I have never been through this thing, but I see all the posts above as anti-husband even know we have no idea what he has happened.

Also surely the childs security is 100% paramount, so remaining in the bedroom that she knows as hers is surely right? It's not the childs fault after all.

stayingupright

Ayelet wrote: »

Maybe I am being silly as I have never been through this thing, but I see all the posts above as anti-husband even know we have no idea what he has happened.

Also surely the childs security is 100% paramount, so remaining in the bedroom that she knows as hers is surely right? It's not the childs fault after all.

Thanks Ayelet - I agree, so by your theory then my husband should move out, and I should remain with my daughter in the house - why should I leave my daughter and be a pregnant woman on the streets? And why should our new baby grow up separated from it's sister? I know you wouldn't be stupid enough to suggest a newborn baby should be taken from it's mother and placed with it's father - surely?

pmlindyloo

OP

Have you read the thread from Shelter? You need to get some proper, and probably, legal advice.

I have just read one of your previous threads where some posters suspected you are a troll.

I am not saying that, but you have been given some advice and seem not to be taking it.

I do hope you are not winding people up. Spending time looking up information and then it not being used (?) just made me wonder and feel a little annoyed.