advice please - changes to joint account

little_busy_bee

Hi all,

i would welcome all suggestion and thoughts on how to proceed, especially from the male forum users

hubby and i have a joint account we pay equal amounts into - this should cover all household and joint bills, with money left over for holidays, presents, joint savings, treats, etc. however it is never enough....i have tracked the excess spending to hubby. nothing grim or sinster, just a bit extra shopping here and there, a personal item bought on the joint, an extra treat or two but it is all adding up every month.

have had numerous discussions from reasonable conversation to a rant when my card declined in tesco.....

am considering now asking him for his joint card and cheque book, very drastic thing to do but i do all the bills and shopping anyway...

is this the way to go forward?

RedBern

we've got a card for 'food' which we pay into every month - and that is just for food shopping, no sneaky beers or wine. Although there's 2 cards with the account, for a long time I was the one that did the food shopping so OH hardly knew it existed! He's got a card for the account, but has never used it, we both use mine! We just check the balance each time we use it, so it doesn't get declined.

mambo69

first question from me is does he also have his own account to use? We have a joint account, but any other spending that is for me I do from my own account.

Joint account is spending only relating to the house

pinkshoes

Could you sit down and re-budget then re-assess the amount you both pay in each month?

little_busy_bee

hi,

we each have our own accounts for personal spending.

we re-assessed our spending and what goes into the joint should cover all the bills, groceries, etc. with money left over.

fran2491

lol i had this same problem with my hubby! used to get mid month and we had no money left in the account! i resorted to drastic measures took his cards and cut them up! :eek: got sick of telling him not to use the account! after 3 years of having no cards at all, i think he got the message and he now has one card but has to ask before he uses it :rotfl: and does! lol

Any

Sorry, I take it it is his personal spend that ticks you over....?

What is his excuse for it? My OH is completely rubbish with money, but he is terrified to use the joint account for anything as he has no idea (not interested) how much is in it and what still goes out and that he will distrupt my budget...

If I got my card declined at Tescos I would have him hanging of the ceiling by his balls I think!!!:-)))

lurvlyloz

my ex and i had a joint account and he didnt have a card for it because we both knew that he'd "accidentally" take money out when he was in own or something like that and then not leave money in for the mortgage. he didnt have any idea or interest in the household bills or anything.

not releveant to you situation Op but this was a good thing in the long run coz when we broke up & i took on the house i knew how to handle the finances & all the bills. WInner for me x

fannyanna

Hubby and I each have our own accounts for spending money.

Everything else comes out of our joint account - bills, food, both our mobile phones and car insurance and even his child maintenance money.

I end up paying for the majority of things but I'm ok with that as I earn more than him and we in effect only have 80% of his salary available to us as the rest pays the child maintenance. However as I'm the one that pretty much pays for everything and am also the sensible one that has a spreadsheet with all the account details and I check it looks ok practically daily he will ALWAYS ask me if he needs to use the joint account. I’ve never made him do this but he’s always just done it.

Where finances are pooled together in a relationship I think it’s probably quite common that one person controls everything as such.

newcook

if you both have your own accounts as well as the joint I'd take the cards etc off him and tell him he has his own money for bits and bobs. you've tried talking to him several times but hasnt listened so obviously needs some other action.

it maybe something simple that the cards look the same as your own account and he sometimes uses the worng one?!