"Simply not solvent!

Seaxwyn

Thanks bandraoi, it's true, I've managed without him earning before so lesser insurance for OH would be fine.

He did have a much cheaper life insurance policy which he let lapse around December when he went into meltdown. I am badgering him to ring up and see if I can resume. I'm really furious about his downright refusal to even make this call.

The reason why I don't just cancel the £144 life insurance today is that I know that if he did die uninsured I would never get over the resentment and anger.

I'm feeling generally down now. I've just typed a long and moany post outlining a string of gripes and grudges and deleted it as it's too negative and pointless to dwell on. But the fact of the matter is we are only just managing to keep afloat and haven't paid more than the minimum payment off the Abbey credit card debt in months.

It's Easter Hols and we both have lots of work which we're trying to get on with while the kids watch hours of mindless TV and fight. I feel so bad about this. Not making great progress with the work either.

Oh poor me, I'll sign off before I collapse into a heap of self pity.

Seaxwyn

I'm feeling a bit more positive today.

I was feeling so rubbish this morning (hit the Bols last night - not recommended) that I gave myself a day off work, chilled a bit and took the kids to the park.

We received £50 (insurance cashback) and I paid it off my Abbey credit card. It's the first time I've made more than a minimum payment in months and though it's a tiny fraction of the whole debt it made me feel good.

Then I updated my signature and am astonished to find that our debt is over £1000 less than it was on 1 January. :j

That doesn't really mean we've 'paid off' £1,000 as the figure fluctuates over the month - but it does show a move in the right direction and lately I've doubted we were heading that way.

Finally I did some back-of-envelope calculations and think that I've already paid enough tax for this year so shouldn't have anything to pay in July. I'm going to save 20% of what i earn from now on as it's tax bills that got me in debt in the first place and every year I've had to borrow more to pay them.

Workwise things are quite stressful. I've been so stressed and disorganised lately I just haven't been doing what I needed to do and one big project is slipping past its deadlines. I turned on the computer this evening to find some stern emails from the client - eek! I have to go in and present to them on Tuesday so need to pull my finger out and work hard over the weekend. This job is worth £7k so I can't mess up.

I'm finding it really hard working at home with the kids on school holiday. I can't concentrate with them around and also feel mega guilty that they're cooped up indoors most of the time while it's so lovely outside. I've got a huge amount of work to get through over the next four days though so I'm just going to have to find a way.

buddiebabe

Hey Seaxwyn

Glad to hear you sounding more positive today.

Well done with the overpayment on the Abbey Credit Card it always feels good to be paying extra.

Its good to see your debt reducing :T

Hope you manage to get all the work done that you need to over the next few days. Im sure you'll cope with it all

Buddiebabe x

Cat121

Just wondered if you had checked out "Flylady"?

I have been one of the worlds worst procrastinators - I found the Flylady site and have found simple things that have made life easier and things are actually getting done. The best thing (which I also found the strangest and felt "no way" was her getting dressed to shoes thing). :rotfl:

Since taking this on board, I do get dressed to shoes and treat my day as a "work day" when at home. I divide up my time and actually found that my 8 hour day could actually be done in 6 :T . I also set myself mini-challenges using my egg timer - "what can I do in 15 minutes" (it's amazing what you can actually do in this time)!!! It has also allowed me to have more time with my son - at the weekends when I have work to do, I do 15 minutes stints at work stuff, 15 mins with son 15 mins work and so on so on - he loves it now as he know that when the beeper goes he has my undivided attention so is much more content to let me work for the other time (I also feel a lot less stressed as no longer feel the guilt about the time I work - previously when I did stop to give him time I was preoccupied with the work I still had to do - poor ***ger couldn't win)!

I can heartily recommend it - though it can take some getting used to the frosted icing tone (a bit on the sickly sweet side iykwim) :rotfl:

Anyway - give a go - what can you lose ?!

hypno06

I tried Flylady for about 10 mins :rotfl:

got as far as the shiny sink but then when I tried a 47 thing boogie or whatever it is, I got myself in a tizzy!!!

Working from home is hard unless you are uber-disciplined, but I do little things like always start my "work" day at 10am, don't work more than 2 evenings, only work at the weekend if that is absolutely the only time that the client can get here (eg I have some clients who come from London or Overseas and I just charge them extra for weekend work!!!) or if it is a life and death situation, and take regular short breaks when the kids are on hols etc to spend time with them.

It took a little getting used to - I always found something on Daytime Telly that I JUST HAD TO WATCH!!!! but now I have things more organised, although still room for improvement!

But to have reduced your debt since the beginning of the year by 4 figures, even allowing for fluctuations, is an achievement, and one you should be proud of.

Have a good weekend, and enjoy the sunshine x

ShirleyPark_2

Have you tried the flylady thread on the OS Board, no where near as bad as the flylady website and yahoo groups.

Seaxwyn

Thanks buddie, Cat, Shirley and hypno

I do like the Flylady idea and Cat it is so encouraging that it has worked for you.

Like Hypno I signed up but couldnt cope with the barrage of emails and yes, the sickly sweet tone. If it was just one email a day I'd be well up for it. I'll check out the Flylady thread on the OS board but I don't want to get involved in lots of message board chat as that is one of my main procrastinating weaknesses.

Thanks everyone for the support and good ideas. Cat I'm going to get an egg timer and try that - if you have any more tips please send them over.

Seaxwyn

Not a good day today.

OH revealed (only because I nagged persistently) that he has spent £330 on his credit card (APR over 20%) and can't pay it off this month. So I guess I'll pay it off on my overdraft which is 18% so slightly lower interest but not much. If I left him to deal with it it would just grow and grow, that's what's always happened before.

Also I don't have the money in my main account to pay the mortgage so I'll have to transfer that from the 18% overdraft too.

And I have to pay £316.74 to a former employer who overpaid me.

So my signature is a lie, but I really really don't want to add two more creditors to it so I'll leave it til I feel more positive.

Part of the problem is that one of my clients is very late paying me. The cheque I was banking on to cover the mortgage and overpayment thing has still not arrived.

But mostly I'm completely gutted that OH has built up more debt. I transferred £5k from his card to mine in December. In fact I've been paying his debts since I've known him.

He's also done nothing about paying the council tax or water, which I'd asked him to do (I pay absolutely everything else). He hasn't restarted a cheap life insurance policy which he let lapse, even though I'd sorted things out with them and even given him a cheque to post for the arrears.

I've been raging against him all day but have to acknowledge that partly I'm angry with myself as I have been working so slowly, if I'd pulled my finger out I could have completed and billed for a big job by now and life would be easier.

Anyway, I'm really fed up and have the same old feeling of being not solvent and in denial.

Cat121

:grouphug: Oh hun, I really don't know what to say about your OH. He really doesn't seem to get it or does he?

Why are you and your children suffering this way - he really needs to open his eyes to what he is doing to you all

I hope you work things out this month and can pay what needs to be paid. Just remember - we are here for you xxxxxxxx

Seaxwyn

This is my 600th post! What a shocking amount of time I've spent on here.

Anyway I checked online banking today and I DO have enough to pay the mortgage and other bill from my A&L account - phew. Some cheques must have cleared since yesterday.

So I feel a lot better but I still despair about OH. I've tried every tack from leaving him to deal with things himself through gentle encouragment to nagging and shouting and nothing works. I can't make him see how much it upsets me.