Fedup with Cold Callers

Paul_Varjak

I am absolutely fed-up with cold callers at my door who ignore my notice, so I am thinking of novel ways to deter cold callers from calling.

Here are some ideas for NO COLD CALLERS SIGNS...

1. Cold Callers will be hung, drawn and quartered

2. Cold Callers will be clamped, towed away and crushed

3. Cold Callers will be fined £50

4. Cold Callers are videoed and reported to the Police

5. Cold Callers will be required to donate their soul to the devil (to stop Jehovah's Witnesses)

6. Cold Callers are sprayed with even colder DNA Water

7. Cold Callers will be warmed up with a flame thrower

moonrakerz

A large sign saying:

"I AM a Jehovah's Witness - all are welcome"

Blobby8_2

It is your duty to invite these people into your home and waste as much of their time as possible.
The more time you waste the fewer people they get to bother and the less likely they are to knock on my door.
The more of them you irritate , the more of them will give up and get proper jobs.
Always let them organize a follow up call if possible, to measure for double glazing whatever.
Never give them any bank details or money and do it on your own (greater ssatisfaction).
My record is an iinvestments salesman 4 hours. Witnesses 2 hours.

Paul_Varjak

moonrakerz wrote: »

A large sign saying:

"I AM a Jehovah's Witness - all are welcome"

How about...

"Only agnostics live here - we don't need converting"

Paul_Varjak

I have kept a few 419 fraudsters on tenterhooks and also a recliner chair salesman. I even reported the recliner chair company to the Advertising Standards Authority who required them to remove their false claims.

GlynD

Cold Callers Will Be Treated Rudely - You Have Been Warned.

Jalepeno

All very amusing and I hesitate to be serious but - how about lobbying your MP to make cold calling illegal. This would be welcomed by all the enforcement authorities.

WestonDave

Notice to Cold Callers - While I am waiting for my bankruptcy and eviction to come through, please feel free to come in for a chat. All my current stalking victims have obtained court orders so I am somewhat bored. Yours J Bloggs.

PS Be careful to hop when you go back down the drive as there are extra terrestrials hiding in the hedge who abduct two legged beings.

fluffnutter

I just never answer the door.

Paul_Varjak

Notice to COLD CALLERS

My ROTTWEILLER Attacks on Command

Paul_Varjak

"Here are the names and addresses of the cold callers who ignored my signs..."