A tad Strange - Is this a unique scenario. Teens and Love?

Isabella1

Hi
I'm a new poster on here, so not sure if this part of the forum is completely relevant but here goes.
Apologies for the novel!
A few days ago my Dd came to me a little concerned. I was a little bemused prior to her coming to me as she seemed to be daydreaming a lot, feeling withdrawn and lethargic.
She told she felt that Love was simply a fairytale and she didn't believe in it, this has always been a mantra of hers, which she's always sordidly stuck to!
I obviously reckoned it was a phase at the time and I was right to think nothing of it.
Anywayz, she came to me and said she was feeling strange. I asked her why and she explained all sorts of symptoms more clumsier than usual, sitting for hours daydreaming, tired, unable to focus. She said she felt like she wasnt her anymore and that her personality was being destroyed....
I asked her why she felt this, and she said 'cause she'd seen someone and couldn't stop thinking about this guy, which she actually admitted to loathing! She was all worked up about it, saying she wants to get over herself as this is all too pathetic for her liking. The guy apparently was a pest to her; but now she can;t stop thinking about him! She told me they can't be together he's already taken, and that she hates his personality anyway!
she told me she's felt like this for almost a month now and can't get over herself and be natural!
I comforted and reassured her and told her that she'd evetually get over him. She's worried now as she's always been a focused person, and with her studies upcoming she can't focus!
I want to help her but there's nothing I can do, which is making me feel lousy as DD is distressed :eek:
Any advice
Thanks :T

rachbc

How old is she?

As a willfully independant proto feminist 14/15 year old I proudly declared to anyone who listened that I would never get married, or have babies as love was a nonsense!

All you can do is help her understand that what she is feeling is normal - tell her not to worry too much about her studies - its the long holiday now so she has 6 weeks to wallow and then get over it!

KiKi

I'd say it's perfectly normal teen behaviour! The thing that I would take as strange is that she actually spoke to her parents about it!!!

I don't know what you can say to comfort her. TBH, my approach with teens is not to tell them it will get better, but just sympathise and offer a hug and show you're taking their issues seriously - because they're serious to them. (Even if you know in an adult world these issues aren't serious, and she'll get over it.)

She's probably freaked herself out a little because she's developed a philosophy on life, and now hormones and emotion have kicked in and they're turning her stable little world upside down. Welcome to the teenage years.

KiKi

bluenoseam

Yep, i'd suggest that there's a button somewhere which has just been pressed and suddenly everything she knew & thought was right just turned round & abandoned her, just sucks that instead of someone halfway decent it happens to be the local prat - she will eventually get over it when someone comes along & makes her forget him.

marywooyeah

yep sounds like a typical teenage girl phase to me!
I was once sad for about a month over a guy I fancied in the year above me who never seemed that interested back - turned out to be gay lmao!

neverdespairgirl

I think it's really positive that she came to you to talk about it.

make_me_wise

Sounds like very normal teen confusion. Your hormones and emotions take you on a bit of a rollercoaster ride through those years, from what I can remember of them. Would not go back there again, even if you paid me. Makes being nearly 40 seem wonderful all of a sudden