Should I change Solicitors

john1002

Hi all,

I have 2 boys that live with me, am divorced from my wife and we have a court order in place for my ex to see the children. She was very controlling in our relationship and I have got better over time to stick up for myself. This weekend my ex wanted to change the following weekends scheduled visit and tag onto the weekend just gone so fri - sun would be fri - tue but she would not have them the weekend. I said No as we had things planned this week me and the boys and I had things planned for me next weekend. as a result my ex got very angry and threatened not to bring the boys back, sent nasty texts and then her boyfriend got involved. In the end she brought the children back 3 hours later than stated in the court order. She showed me no respect, courtesy or willing to communicate. It has taken me nearly 10 weeks to get her to pick and drop the children off as was agreed in court. The reason I include that bit of info is that Im not sure my solicitors as Im a legal aid case are understanding my concerns, I seem to always be chasing them and the fact it took 10 weeks for them to finally get my ex to agree by threatening to stop her from seeing them.

She has paid no maintenace in over a year and starngely thinks telling me that one of my sons needs new trainers is more important than telling me that one of them was quite ill!

I just feel my ex can do what ever she wants or say and I dont seem to have the legal clout to stop her, so to the question of solicitors and the long point of all this, do you think I should change for a more pro active one or as I am legal aid I need to stick with the one that has done all the paperwork for legal aid.

Thanks

John

pigpen

I wouldn't. Having a court order cannot force the NRP to do something they don't want to do.. I have been waiting since mid-April for KH (XH) to sign one piece of paper and send it back to his solicitor.. it will take 5 seconds.

Re maintenance.. contact CSA they will take it direct from source.. be that wages or benefits and pass it on to you.

It just sounds like a normal solicitor TBH.. everything in their own time..

My dad would log every petty little misdemeanor with his solicitor.. if I was taken back 5 minutes late or one time I had fallen over and grazed my knee .. and another time I became unwell (tonsillitis.. like you can plan these things or prevent them!).. it was all logged... I swore I wouldn't do that and my ex is now making life impossible messin me about, changing days etc..

I do not think you would benefit from changing solicitors.. they seem to have done their bit and it is the ex not complying.

john1002

Thanks pigpen. But what can I do to ensure she does comply? I just think if situations were reversed I would be put through hoops and would not get away with half she does.

Just think it is unfair but i know life is unfair

Thanks

John

pigpen

you can't do anything.. you put up with it until the children are old enough to make their own arrangements for seeing her.. it happens sooner than you think!

CH27

How old are the boys?

RAS

You start by contacting the CSA re maintenance.

You did the right thing regarding not allowing her to muck you around regarding which weekends she see them, but make sure you document this - save all e-mails and texts. Do not speak to her on the phone if possible.

Just do be a bit thoughtful if she would like to see them on her birthday weekend/Mother's Day as long as this is raised a month in advance.

Log every problem with her threats and with her bringing them back late. At some stage you will be able to use this in court to cut her back down to size.

Advise her that her boyfriend has not rights in this at all and refuse in future to respond to anything he sends you.

If the texts are nasty enough, ask for a restraining order to prevent her threatening you again.

Pee

From my experience with this area of law, whatever the reasonable parent does is wrong...

You may not have many choices with Legal Aid solicitors. If you don't feel the one you have cares or understands it might be worth seeing who you could change to. I think the problem is your ex not the solicitor.

(I wish you could swop her!)

fannyanna

I'd just like to reassure you that whenever I've dealt with solicitors (and paid for that privilege) I've always had to chase them and deal with their secretaries who are trying to fob me off.

I don't think you're being treated that way because you have legal aid.

Frith

I changed solicitors and it's the best decision I ever made! The first I had was so slow that in the end I picked up all the paperwork from her myself and literally drove it to the door of my new solicitor. (I'd been asking her to post it for nearly a month...)

It makes the world of difference to have someone working for you who is reliable, fairly prompt and actually seems interested in what you are saying.

You could ask around for a recommendation (from family and friends). My solicitor is for divorce/contact as well and what we need isn't top quality, highly qualified barristers. It's just someone on the ball who works hard.

Mine is a friend of my mum and dad's and lives in the next village which is handy for dropping documents/statements etc in her letter box rather than having to drive 15 miles into town to see her. I also contact her a lot by email and that seems to work well.

P.S As RAS says - keep EVERYTHING she sends you, texts, anwering machine messages etc. And buy a little cheap notebook so you can record when she is late/doesn't turn up etc because it's a devil of a job trying to remember what happened and when a couple of weeks after the event.

P.P.S I started off funding myself but have been on legal aid more recently. It has not made a difference.

john1002

Thanks for all your replies, to answer the how old question, the boys are 6 and 7.

Have documented everything so that is something. Good to know that many people experience this with solicitors.

With regard CSA have tried that but as she is being kept by boyfriend I have no rights, ie she does not claim or work.

Oh well will just as you say have to grim and bear it.

Thanks again

John

Pee

If she doesn't work or claim she will still have to pay £5 a week as I understand it. I know that's not much, and will probably affect your benefits, but it may be something to threaten her with.