How to survive Maternity Pay

Cookiee

Hi lovely people

I have always given lots of good advice on this site and I hope you can help again.
TMI in some bits sorry and is a bit long ...

A little about me. I am 31 in Aug and I suffer PCSO & Endrometriosis. I also had a whole in my womb which was repaired. I suffer greatly with v.heavy periods in which every month I used to have to go into hospital to have a morphine drip to ease the pain. I have suffered 3 miscarriges over the last 10 years of which 1 was twins

I have though for the past 5 years had a coil which basically has changed my life. I no longer am in as much pain and not suffering any more heavy bleeding

Ok. I had my normal smear test 18 months ago and it came back with CIB level 2 results. In my family, all (and I mean all) sides of my family have had a hystorectomy's (sorry for spelling) and 3 members of my imediate family also had overian or cervical cancer by 35.

The only difference between them and me is they all had children before they were 30.

I had treatment and my next 2 smears were fine but now I have another abnormal result My doctor is now saying I really really need to start trying for a family as they can't promise that I will be able to have them in 3/4 yrs time and if things keep going the way they are I could be following suit as my mum, aunts and nan.

My situation is this. My husband at the moment is on long term sick due to a back injury/illness. He will possibly not be able to return to work for at least another 18 months.

I am currently having to support us both with my wages. He does get ESA at the appeal rate but that just about covers our food, petrol and medical costs.

I earn £19k of which I am left with £5 each month. If we were to fall pregnant, maternity pay would leave us approximately £850 short a month. We have approx £15k of debt but if I keep to my payments then I should be debt free (excluding the mortgage) by Aug 2014.

I am now stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either I say wait till then and risk not being able to have children or start now as the docs are very strongly recommending and risk losing my home and having to go bankcrupt.

I have read everywhere that people just adapt when having children as you just have to but I cant see how...

Your advice would be greatly receieved and if possible how you all managed to survive maternity pay. I am not worried about after as we have decided that hubbie will stay at home so childcare wont be an issue and clothes etc are fine but it is just the 6 months whilst I am off for maternity ..

Thank you all for reading xx:A

Js_Other_Half

You don't actually have to be off for that long if it's absolutely impossible for you to survive financially. From memory I think you legally need a fortnight off. The first 6 weeks of maternity pay is 90% of your salary. Run your household income through https://www.entitledto.com ( I think ). You will be entitled to Child Benefit and Tax Credits ( if household income is less than 42K ).

Given your medical history I really wouldn't delay TTC for much longer.

Best Wishes.

Apricot

Would your husband be able to take care of the baby if you went back to work early? I know we women want to be the ones to be off taking care of bubs (in general) but given the choice that might be the better option?

How much is your mortgage per month? Could you maybe swith to interest only for a short period of time? (I must confess to having no idea how the whole mortgage thing works as I rent but if it's possible?)

You'd get child benefit of £20 per week (it's not much but it helps) and would be entitled to working tax credits/child tax credits based on your household income - they base the calculation on your previous years income but you can call and update them as to what your current income is if your husband was working last year.

Maybe post an SOA? People may be able to help you to see areas where you could cut back?

Good luck, whatever you decide.

Pee

You can also put your new circumstances into the benefits checker, which will help work out if anything like council tax benefit might be available.

grey_lady

Hi Cookiee,

Listen to the docs, if you think that there's a chance that you might want a baby one day then go for it, please keep up with the smears though, it's not commonly known but you can have a smear when pregnant, it depends on how pregnant etc.

The money, surviving on maternity etc, well you will get child benefit, tax credits etc, the good folks on here can show you how to fine tune your budget as well. You may be able to pay the debt back over a longer term, or go bankrupt, babies are more important than paying debts :-)

Blue_Monkey

Could you take a payment holiday from your mortgage?

If you're renting could you move to a cheaper place and put tge difference in savings?

I read somewhere that if you have two jobs you might be entitled to maternity pay from both, not sure if that's true or if it's an option for you, but perhaps worth exploring?

Could your hubby do some work from home?

Best of luck

Sambucus_Nigra

If he's not working at the moment, how about him looking after the baby in a 'house husband' capacity and you going back after a month?

Cookiee

Hi and thanks for all your advice.

We have a mortgage and we have a 3 bedroom house which really we never see moving from. Around where we live to try and get another mortgage for a house is almost impossible and as we have no deposit then it wouldn't be worth it. (but thanks for the suggestion :-)

We do plan for hubbie to stay at home once I have little one but I really dont think I can go back to work after 2 weeks/1 month. I know someone who did that and completly regretted it. She then ended going off sick for 4 months as she was soo stressed and feeling guilty that she had a mini breakdown.

We mortgage with C&G so not sure if they do mortgage breaks. I will give them a ring and find out thanks x

The working tax credits / child credits is slightly confusing .... I went onto entitled to and pretended I had little one already with no childcare and hubbie not working and it said I was entitled to the dizzying sum of £2.30 a week. I think I might be doing it wrong ...

Unfortunately my main job do not allow working a 2nd job and sometimes the hours are very unpredictable so thats out. About hubbie working from home would be great but he has zero knowledge of computers, has no prectical knowledge of money mangement so not sure what he would be able to do. He can't walk very far and it tends to be on the slow side but if anyone has any suggestions ...

I ebay all I can and have used the usual comparison sites as before I was having to use my overdraft every month so having £5 left, even though it is a little, is still a postive step - thanks to this site :-D

I didn't know about the smear tests during pregnancy ... thanks for telling me this lol

Should I post my SOA on here or on Debt free?

JodyBPM

Although you might not *want* to only take a few weeks of maternity leave, it might be the only sensible option open to you if you do want to have a baby.

You can take 6 weeks at 90% pay, plus you could save up all your annual leave for the year and tag that on too, so depending on how much your annual leave entitlement is, you could end up with nearly 3 months leave paid at 90% or full pay.

As it stands with your financial situation, I would say you are in a far from ideal situation to have a baby, but given your medical situation, your hand has been forced. I think your choice is either having a baby in a less than ideal situation (not an ideal amount of mat leave, not the top of the range buggies, equipment etc) or not having one at all. Personally I'd go for it.

You will get child benefit of £20 a week and ctc of at least £10 a week, which should cover the day to day costs of formula (if not bf) and nappies etc, plus clothing etc.

If you wait until you can afford your ideal amount of mat leave of 6 months +, you might end up leaving it too late and not having a baby at all.

marywooyeah

I think you should start trying for a baby ASAP. If you only have £5 a month spare now you will find the child benefit and tax credits very useful and you can get baby things second hand very cheaply, babies don't cost as much as everyone makes out!
as for the time off you only legally need 2 weeks, but as you say about your friend it would be better to have longer off to bond. You say you are on debt plans, can these be cut down anymore even if it means you'd take longer to pay it off?

good luck, both with baby and finances x

DaisyFlower

Whilst you may not want to only take a short time off, if finances dont allow it you may have no other choice. Why would you feel guilty? The baby has two parents who are both equal and you are not at work 24/7.

Surely its better to return to work early knowing that the baby is with its other parent than to get into more debt/trouble with mortgage for the sake of a few months. Given you are already in debt and only just meeting living costs, its not the best financial time to have a baby without adding even more debt.