HELP!?! Wedding 3rd August 2011

brunettegirl

My friend is getting married on 3rd August and she has sorted out hardly anything and has a very small budget.

I have offered my help where possible.
But some things I have no idea about - im not married!

My OH is taking her to the registry office - what do we decorate the car with???
Im taking her kids to the registry office - does my car need decorating??

She has asked for us to decorate venue at reception we have a colour scheme - blue, silver & cream BUT it's a buffet with only a small number of tables whats the best way to decorate? I have some balloons, table confetti, champagne bubbles and some tinsel type stuff what else do we need??

she has done favours for people, no idea where to put them as there is no seating plan???

I'm getting really stressed out with it all, especially as we are still trying to find suitable black trousers for her kids and some shoes for her daughter at rock bottom prices! I haven't sorted out my own outfit yet.

Should I be speaking to the chief bridesmaid and telling her to help? I am her friend but just a guest, the bridesmaid has done nothing, she lives elsewhere, i don't mind helping, but this is getting silly my duties are

Shopping for clothes for her kids
buying stuff to decorate cars and venue
collecting mother of bride day before wedding with cake, dresses and flowers,
decorating wedding car
decorating venue
she wants party bags for kids to keep them entertained - there will be 11!!! from 1 to 14 what do i put in the bags???
taking 4 kids to registry office (thats two seperate trips)
taking kids to reception
taking other guests to venue

Can I ask others to help with costs? I don't have much money either, I don't want to let my friend down but she gets married in 11 days and I have no idea where to start - well we are going to a carboot tomorrow!

Suggestions please help

thank you

ellay864

Firstly you don't NEED anything else for cars or tables...it's just what is WANTED by you/her, and what is practical and possible with the time and money you have. Buy some ribbon for the cars if you like but neither car NEEDS to have it. Likewise, you dont need anything else for the tables if it's going to cause loads of stress getting it; you could but some tealights, flowers if you wanted but if you don't really know how the tables are going to be then it may be a lot of hassle for what it's worth
I would certainly be asking some of her other friends and the bridesmaid to help - it sounds like you're trying to do everything. Are you expected to pay for the party bags? If so just do what you can afford even it's just some sweets or a bubble pot; if she wants them she should be paying and giving you some ideas for what to put in them. Besides what will keep a toddler entertained certainly won't work for a teenager (who will probably be plugged into their ipod or mobile if my lads are anything to go by!)
Shopping for her kids - why can't she do that? What is she actually doing?
And why are you taking guests to the venue? Let them sort their own transport out. I assume they have successfully managed to take themselves out from their homes before now - why should the wedding be different.
You can ask other people to help with costs if you know them well enough but it will seem a bit cheeky if not done right. You have to tell your friend you don't have the time and money to do all of this and she has to settle for what she can afford. Sounds like your friendship is being exploited here

KK22_2

First of all... BREATHE! You're in the right place for help, no doubt a lot more knowledgable people will be along with great ideas soon. You sound like a wonderful friend, but you may be putting too much pressure on yourself. I'd maybe have a word with the bride, i'd let her know your list of duties and ask if she's mind contacting the bridesmaid to delegate some of the duties to. I would never expect a friend, who isn't part of the bridal party to be doing so much.

brunettegirl wrote: »

My OH is taking her to the registry office - what do we decorate the car with???
Im taking her kids to the registry office - does my car need decorating??

You can usually get fairly cheap ivory ribbon from places like balloon shops, party shops, maybe even birthdays or clintons. If you get the ribbon for your OH's car, you might as well decorate yours for a nice touch.

She has asked for us to decorate venue at reception we have a colour scheme - blue, silver & cream BUT it's a buffet with only a small number of tables whats the best way to decorate? I have some balloons, table confetti, champagne bubbles and some tinsel type stuff what else do we need??

Some lovely balloon arrangements can look really pretty. I've made my own balloon weights before which can really bring costs down and get my balloons and helium from a balloon decorations shop. You could even get some just married banners, but some people find them a bit tacky.

she has done favours for people, no idea where to put them as there is no seating plan???

If anyone could lend you a cake stand, you could arrange them on this which would look quite nice. Could have a guestbook on it as well for example.

I'm getting really stressed out with it all, especially as we are still trying to find suitable black trousers for her kids and some shoes for her daughter at rock bottom prices! I haven't sorted out my own outfit yet.

Don't be shy about checking out places like tesco, asda, sainsburys, m&s, matalan, primark etc for the clothes and shoes.

Should I be speaking to the chief bridesmaid and telling her to help? I am her friend but just a guest, the bridesmaid has done nothing, she lives elsewhere, i don't mind helping, but this is getting silly my duties are

Shopping for clothes for her kids
buying stuff to decorate cars and venue
collecting mother of bride day before wedding with cake, dresses and flowers,
decorating wedding car
decorating venue
she wants party bags for kids to keep them entertained - there will be 11!!! from 1 to 14 what do i put in the bags??? Asda do a lot of this kinda thing in their card aisle, wrapping paper etc. Silly wee toys, crayons etc. Ask kids that you know that are that age what they would like to amuse them.
taking 4 kids to registry office (thats two seperate trips)
taking kids to reception
taking other guests to venue

Hope some of this helps and good luck!

emz118

For the party bag it's worth looking in Wilkos and Poundland.
Last week (for my prize box at school) I bought some things.
Poundland:
8 "activity books" A6 size
10 pencils with erasers on the end
48 (ish) mini colouring pencils (I have split into small bundles)

They also had wedding champagne bottle bubbles in packs of about 6 or 8 I think.

Wilkos:
Do mix and match 4 for £1 including pencils, rubbers, mini sticky notes etc. Some quite nice things at nice prices!!!

LegalBlonde

Poundland has REALLY good table party poppers, a large tube of holographic confetti and spiral ribbons - 5 for £1

They also have wedding day flags for cars if you are into that kind of thing. And cake boxes.

Wilkinsons have activity bags packs of 8 for like £3 as well as bubbles.

Maybe the OP's friend has an illness or something or has got totally bogged down in all the planning who knows but hopefully we can keep it on money saving and give her some money saving tips.

Hollie84

Ribbon and bows for the cars are so easy to make,i have hired my car but the car my OH and best man will be driving i will be making the bow for.yes u can by helium tanks for ok prices from shops so can do your own balloons which i did for my daughters christening.table decor you can get table confetti or crystals cheaply from ebay.
yes definetly asda for party bag stuff they do lots and usually have them 3 for £x
Do check out the pound shop the have a small section of wedding stuff

roses

Why on earth are you doing all of this for your friend! It sounds like you are basically planning the whole thing for her. You really need to tell her you can't cope with all of this. Tell HER to make a list of what needs doing and assign several people tasks to assist, there is no way on earth one person can cope.

brunettegirl

Thank you
I managed to persuade her to do some of the shopping so I found kids outfits and she got some decorations for venue and car
Another friend has agreed to help me with decorating and looking after my 13 months LO while I ferry her kids about (which is a massive relief as I didn't know what to do with him)
Still need to get something done about taxi people from office to venue
and sorting out party bags - although i did get an outdoor game from argos for them to play which can be done inside if it rains as its foam
Im taking her shopping tomorrow and to her mums on friday I will be soooooo happy when this is all over I still need to sort my own outfit and have no idea what to wear!

ellay864

Sorry if I'm out of order here but I still don't get why you're sorting (and paying??) for taxis for people. I'd never expect to go to a wedding with all transport laid on. We're putting on a coach for our guests but that's really because our daytime and evening venues are about an hour apart. I'm guessing if your friend is doing it on a budget she isn't planning on travelling a massive distance so why not let the guests sort their own transport out. You have to worry about without adding that in.
I'm also amazed you took all this on when you have a toddler to look after yourself!

brunettegirl

I felt really sorry for her, as they have little money (although I am aware they could of got more organised and saved better) but when someone is in front of you in floods of tears its hard to say nothing. Luckily I have a nice friend who is gonna help look after my son,
I think the taxis for guests has been knocked on the head.
I just have to take her kids there and then to the venue
and my OH is taking her there, and her and her husband to be to venue.
Im still doing the decorating of venue alone though, the maid of honour won't be here till an hour before the wedding....
My own fault for not refusing and been sucked in I guess. I should of learnt from last time, but I'm a sucker for a sad face.

ellay864

well at least in a couple of days all your work will get to be appreciated hope it all goes well