Is it over yet?

Toto

For years I have been telling everyone who asked how much I love Christmas. And I thought I did, I think I do, but every year I always seem so bloody glad it's over. This year was probably more noticeable than usual because of all the house sale dramas and my business being so busy I really really struggled to cope.

I had planned way in advance, bought most gifts during the summer sales so come December I had nothing much Christmassy to do (thank god, no time to sleep never mind bake gingerbread cottages or mince pie logs or whatever it is I am supposed to create). But as I am getting older I just feel the whole thing is so bloody pointless. It is one day, and a day to be honest most people are glad to see the back of.

I hate Christmas cards from anyone but especially the ones from people I don't even know (seem to get more of these every year... Merry Christmas from Bob and Jane... Bob and Jane who??). I hate the crowds everywhere I try to go, I hate the supermarket from November onwards, I hate the obligation to buy gifts because I am told to, I hate the fact that people buy things for me, the TV shows the worst of the year's crap and I am forced to stay in and suffer it, because that's what we do at Christmas. We have to eat turkey even though most of us don't really like it (can't remember eating turkey at all during the year). I also hate all of the stuff which collects in my house, food we don't usually eat, in enormous quantities. And, all the time throughout the season of goodwill the only thing that gets me through is the thought... this time next week it will all be over and life will be normal again.

I do love to see the children so excited and I love that I have no trouble getting them in bed Christmas eve. But, within 30 mins on Christmas morning the gifts are all opened and the kids are playing, the magic all gone. Then it's on to cooking the vast lunch (half of which ends up in the bin or the dog). And every year I wonder, what part of the day was all the fuss about? Because no one ever really seems that happy.

And now in true MSE style we are all (myself included) battling the sales to buy for next year, that one little day 12 months away. While my head is screaming... please please on dec 25th 2007 can't we just get up late, have a cheese sandwich for lunch and spag bol for dinner?

But no, we can't and we won't, next year will be just the same, madness, general public out in droves, all under my feet, blocking doorways and standing chatting at the bottom of escalators, and I will smile sweetly through it wishing them all a wonderful day, because I love Christmas, I really do.

thriftlady_2

I have to say I think I agree with a lot of what you say Toto, and I like Christmas too:D

I love giving presents to my kids and seeing their recations, but you're right it is over in 30 mins.

I like the food and the cooking, but I also like it when all that special food has gone and we can appreciate our simple diet.

I'm fed up with the tree (and it's only been up 11 days) and the piles of new stuff the kids have left everywhere (we bought most of it:o ).

I'm looking forward to getting the house back to normal, finishing up the chocolates, getting the kids back to school and starting a new year:)

*zippy*

We had a very relaxed Christmas Day this year, OH didn't bother even getting dressed and wore his new PJ's to eat lunch , but today I had to go out and the shops were heaving, car park full etc and I just thought roll on next week and everything gets back to normal.

I do wonder where people are finding all this money to carry on spending after Christmas, I work next to an electrical dept and expensive TV's are selling like hot cakes. I know some people have waited, but I think quite a few are going to be depressed when the credit card bills arrives.

inkie

I do wonder where people are finding all this money to carry on spending after Christmas, I work next to an electrical dept and expensive TV's are selling like hot cakes. I know some people have waited, but I think quite a few are going to be depressed when the credit card bills arrives

I was thinking just that when we went to an out of town shopping centre today. How on earth do people do it - getting chucked up I reckon. As for Christmas - ours is a real Spiritual affiar and doesn't start in the Inkie household until Christmas eve and finishes at Epiphany - and so a bit to go for us. I hate the commercial madness that Christmas brings.

jellyang

I'm with you Toto.
I started thinking like this about 5 years ago.
I suppose the fact that my kids are all grown now means christmas has lost its sparkle.
I stopped sending cards 3 years ago, well you would think I had commited murder. I constantly get called Bah Humbug, but I don't care!!:mad:

Anybody who is important to me I will see & can wish them Merry Christmas personally.
I have drastically cut back on what presents I buy & what food I buy. However other family members decided to bring extras with them, so I have just as many chocs as I ever had at xmas.

I have had all kids plus my mother for xmas dinner for the last 10 years & this year I was thinking how nice it would be if somebody cooked my christmas dinner for a change. Will have to work on a plan for next year


Jelly

emilyt

This is my kind of thread. I too feel exactly the same. Just thought i must be geting old. Glad i am not the only one. Wonder if it is all women that have replied. Think we are the ones who have to do all the hard work so maybe that is the reason. Just a thought don't mean to sound sexist.

play2day

I am so with you Toto. My eureka moment came in 2005 so I haven't had so much bother this year. My advice to you:

1: How about sending a thank you note to all those people who bought you a 'must get something but don't know what so this will do gift' (and to those for whom you bought the same) which thanks them for thier gift but goes on to say how you wish to recapture Christmas from its over commercialised prison and make it fun and joyful again. Therefore next year you will be donating money/shoeboxes/gifts to your favourite charity in thier name and would like them to do likewise... A years notice is ample I think! Most people will be delighted to be saved the stress of buying for you and also of recieving an unwanted gift, I promise!

2: Ask your family what they would really like for Christmas dinner not what they think they should have. Don't be surprised if the kids would rather have chicken dippers.. let them & stop cooking for the bin! For you and DH buy some ready prepared veg, pots and meats that cook in the containers you bought them in and save yourself the hassle of prepping and washing up. Get them delivered with an internet grocery shop.

3: Turn off american films with unrealistic images of family Christmases. They are utterly fictional and give false impressions and expectations to all. Instead buy a new release family DVD because somebody will have seen whatever is on the tv gaurenteed.

4: Delegate.

5: For those that you really must buy for give a gift voucher with a note to say that you are sending it because the recipient is so special that you would like to give them a bigger present than your budget will allow and therefore decided that a voucher to spend on what they like in the sales seemed ideal... Yes, a white lie that saves you stress and makes somebody else feel good.

6: If your family want a gathering and yours is the home elected ensure they know that any buffetis a bring and share occasion. Should your whole family want a sit down meal together then arrange it for just before or after Christmas in a local pub and go dutch.

7. Rather than wrapping kids pressies in paper buy colourful gift bags and tissue paper. The gifts can be rolled in the tissue without needing much care or selotape and the kids still have the paper to rip off. The gift bags can be used year after year if stored with the decs.

8. Don't put away any tired old decs that you don't like. Get rid of them now that way you won't be tempted to 'make them do' again next year.

9: Always ask yourself 'What is the worst thing that can happen if I don't do this' and 'who am I doing this for'. You will find your list decrease when you realise that you are ticking boxes that nobody requires!

and 10: How about a holiday for Christmas?

Toto

That is a really helpful post and one I will be thanking you for many years I think. Great ideas which I will be taking on board. I do desperately want to move away from the whole commercial nonsense of Christmas in future. My life as a MSE every day of the year causes me to think about what I spend and how to make the most from my money. So I guess this was my Christmas light bulb year, I just see it as the season of waste, seeing the huge amount of stuff people all around me are buying and not really understanding why.

So next year, I want no gifts at all, apart from maybe something home made, I am far too busy to make half of the wonderful things you guys on here make, but I wouldn't mind getting some (time to make my family read this board). I will start making up charity shoeboxes throughout the year, photograph the finished item and give that to people I have to buy for. I think you are right, many people I know will be relieved and more than happy to do the same.

Christmas dinner will be whatever we decide it will be (the dog will be disappointed). Gift bags for the kids, what a fab idea, I loath gift-wrapping and the waste of it all with a passion.

I was thinking about going away for Christmas next year, I don't want to sound like scrooge now but I really struggle to pay the over inflated prices when I know I could go one week later and the trip would be 1/3 of the price. It's the same shopping in December, looking at everything knowing the chances are I will get something after Boxing Day half of what I am paying. Also eating out Christmas day, a meal I could get for £10 a head on any other day of the year suddenly becomes £30, so I just can't do it.

I do want the children to have the excitement and wonderful memories but this thing does have to change because it doesn't feel right for me anymore. Of course the kids will get gifts but I will get them involved in the charity boxes too(we did one this year and they enjoyed that), maybe their wonderful memories will be from time we spent together doing something thoughtful and really given in the spirit of the season.

So, Christmas 2007 will hopefully be smaller but more thoughtful with money going where it is really needed, my family spending time together eating what we really enjoy and doing what we want to do. And maybe I might even enjoy the whole thing, you never know.

lil_me

And now in true MSE style we are all (myself included) battling the sales to buy for next year, that one little day 12 months away. While my head is screaming... please please on dec 25th 2007 can't we just get up late, have a cheese sandwich for lunch and spag bol for dinner?

Have done this, my Dad rarely cooked a traditional Christmas lunch, we got duck one year which I think was the closest ever, other years inc lasagne etc, and always at tea time never lunch time which was usually just a sandwich of some sort or we had a good cooked breakfast. He always said there was no way he was going to eat something he didn't like because it was Christmas. First time I ever had a traditional Christmas dinner as such I was 21 and at my partners Dad's house, and yes most of the stuff made didn't get eaten.

He also made every year different, as we got older he would do things like make us wait until after dinner (at tea time), we were allowed to open one present an hour another, make us treasure hunts to find gifts and things like that.

Gift bags are great, I only wrapped less than half of my sons gifts this year (just the small stuff) the rest went into bags. So much easier and less waste as I have reused these bags for 3 years now.

I agree with the commercialised part of Christmas being annoying, someone said to me 'Oh how much ahve you spent on yours' I said 'In all honesty, no idea, I buy what I know they will love and don't focus on cost or spending the same on each child' I spent a huge amount more (over £400) on one relative, and much less on others, and why? because I knew how much he would appreciate it! Not because of what it cost, if I can afford it why not!

I didn't spend a penny this year on credit cards or other forms of credit, and admittedly I spent a fortune, but on gifts that really mattered to who I bought them for. A spa day for a very busy midwife for example, because she deserves it and doesn't make time for herself.

The sales, well we went out because I needed some pots for the lunches I made, the kids spent the vouchers and money gifts they got and we came home.

Gifts I won't really use are recycled, I sent them to a local residential home for those who won't get a gift this year, most of who have family but just can't be bothered to visit. I would prefer to do that than another charity box to go abroad, I send charity boxes for the ones who distribute in this country.

With the whole social side, my oldest son has Autism, since he was a baby we have struggled trying to take him to have dinner with family and he's always ended up upset, apart from last year when they let him eat in the kitchen. This year I did dinner at home, beef and puds because he likes it, and he was happy Unfortunately we still had to visit some houses we rarely go to and he did get upset at one house and ran back to the car, but I am no longer going to force him to stay when he doesn't want to.

Gettin_me_own_back

We went away for christmas this year, and decided to just go with the flow. We went to a log cabin just outside Lichfield. On the 23rd we wondered into Morrisons and just picked up the food we fancied. Took family christmas cards and 2 presents from us for each of the boys to open. Christmas day started at about 10am when we went swimming and played tennis. We had scrambled egg and bacon on toast for lunch as that was what we fancied. Yes we did have a full roast dinner, however we ate that at about 8pm, when we were hungry. Without the usual playstations computers etc, the boys learnt to play several card games. Came home on the 30th and decided to open remaining presents on New years eve. Kids were much calmer and were not hyped up. They actually took the time to look at the stuff they had been bought as oposed to ripping off the paper and chucking the present on a pile.
While I have to admit I did miss being at home for christmas, we did spend quaility time together (I hate that phrase) as a family. Kids have even done their homework.
We have already decided to stay at home next christmas but boys have requested that we go out and have a chilled out time.

kay41_2

I find Christmas very depressing to think about until about a week before then I do get quite excited. I loathe all the fake commericalism, the rushing around, the crap people buy in order to buy something for someone.

Every year I think that I will be more prepared, but every November it's approach fills me with dread.

We often see my inlaws on the day and my family between Xmas and New Year which works well. Only problem is it spins out the whole thing for my 6 year old. She was great this year. Father Christmas was very good to her as she didn't get one main big present, just a few small ones that she really wanted. For the last few months I have been really listening when she has said I really like that, or isn't that nice, and anything which was consistent Santa brought.

She opened one pressie from me and hubby, and then didn't open any more until 5.30pm that day. My brother in law couldn't believe she hadn't opened her parcels. She had chosen and bought her own pressies for family this year and got so much pleasure out of choosing things and writing the tags and giving them out. It was lovely to see.

Fortunately we don't do rich gifts at Xmas with any of our families so a lot of pressies are jokes or little things you know that person will like. Martin's latest book was given to 3 people! I also don't have to buy for aunties, uncles, cousins, friends or anyone now - just one friend of my daughter's who we always spend a day/evening with over the holiday.

I get terribly depressed at all the overpriced rubbish available and specially packaged stuff that is half price (and still not worth it!) a couple of days later.

I'm sorry, the magic went out it long ago when cards were available in August, and TV adverts start.

Things I do like: being with my family and friends, slobbing around the house and pottering, with no deadline to be anywhere, seeing my daughter's face giving out the things she has bought, the school nativity play and christingle service (and I'm not religious).

Why do we all fall for it and buy into it in some way or another? theonly good thing about it starting early is my daughter and I driving around killing ourselves laughing at the amazing light displays outside people's houses - and round here it's great!! Bah humbug!