Back with my tail between my legs

Smilerwoman

Hello again,

This is my second return to MSE.

I'm a bit embarrassed by my return , but thought I'd explain a bit about what's gone right and what's gone wrong in my absence from the boards.

Two years ago, I had a great lightbulb moment, when I realised I needed to tackle the small amount of debt I'd amassed during student living and trying to make a living when I first graduated. At the time, it was just under £5k. I'm 26 now. Anyway, I joined the boards and did really well, started to really make some inroads into my debt.

Then a couple of things went wrong. I meet some vulnerable people in the course of my job and one of them started following me in real life. It was a bit messy, but nothing really came of it. Stupidly, my first username had my actual name in it, so I figured I'd have to leave the boards for a while.

I tried to tackle the debt on my own. A couple of things changed at work - we had a huge restructure and I had to travel further to my office, as well as some of our overtime perks being reduced. So the debt-busting was slow, but pretty steady.

However, I realised about this time last year that I could use a support network and joined up again. I was having a really tough time at work, wanted to leave, and was trying to save to retrain in another profession. You guys were, as always, really supportive and challenged me to think in new ways about my debt . But just as I was getting myself together, I got a promotion at work and found I totally ran out of time to come onto the boards, and I just sort of stagnated. I still serviced the debt, and I think I've been doing quite well, but I really lost my drive to get it done.

So I'm back. With my tail between my legs

A couple of things have changed. Firstly, I was doing really well and got my debt down quite low. Then I had to get a new car and my dad lent me £2k. He has very little money, so I'm paying him off at £100 per month.

The other thing that's changed is that I'm engaged:T That's my driver. I don't want to start married life in debt that I can't control.

My total debt stands at £3,668. It's made up of £300 to a Natwest credit card, £50 overdraft, £200 overdraft and £1818 to my Barclaycard. The other £1300 is what I owe my dad - I've paid him off regularly.

I'll start a diary, naturally, and really hope that you guys can help keep me on track again.

Thanks for listening, and sorry for running away

Kajimba

You have a tail! That must be really useful for when you need to hold three things at once.:)

Seriously though, I don't think you need to feel bad about coming & going here. I'm mostly a lurker myself & I've never been made to feel unwelcome.

I'd just like to say kudos to you for dealing with the stalker, I can only imagine how unsettling that must be. I think you've done well to still only have a relatively small amount of debt after all these ups & downs. I'm sure other people will be along soon to offer better advice, but I would suggest you use the link at the top of the forum to do a Statement of Affairs (SOA) & then post it here.

Also, congrats on your engagement!:T

DarnIt_3

Welcome back. Sorry to here you met some strange folk on here. The internet is full of them, what a great place to lurk

Congratulations on your engagement.

How are you finding paying your debts at the moment, are you struggling, if so an SoA maybe the way to go so we can help you as much as we can.

Smilerwoman

SOA done. I've just put my details in and not my other half's

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1260
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1260

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 300
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 60
Electricity............................. 15
Gas..................................... 15
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 15
Telephone (land line)................... 25
Mobile phone............................ 0
TV Licence.............................. 6
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 100
Clothing................................ 5
Petrol/diesel........................... 100
Road tax................................ 10
Car Insurance........................... 65
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 15
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 20
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 5
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 15
Haircuts................................ 30
Entertainment........................... 25
Holiday................................. 50
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 896


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 2000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 2000

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Barclaycard....................1818......58........0
Natwest........................300.......5.........7.38
Natwest overdraft..............50........0.........0
Dad............................1300......100.......0
Co-op overdraft................200.......0.........0
Total unsecured debts..........3668......163.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,260
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 896
Available for debt repayments........... 364
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 163
Amount left after debt repayments....... 201

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 2,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -3,668
Net Assets.............................. -1,668

Created using the SOA calculator at https://www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.

Smilerwoman

Hello Darnit,

I'm actually not finding paying off the minimum amounts very difficult.

There are two areas where I struggle - note, I'm not making excuses here, but trying to tell you guys where my problems are so I can try and solve them.

The first thing I have problems with are sundries. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle. I don't have fancy clothes (I wish), or fancy anything really. I rarely eat out, and when I do, I always have a Groupon or a voucher from MSE. I don't spend very much on big things. But I seem to haemorrhage money from every orifice. I can easily spend £20 a week (and sometimes more) on coffee/sundries/nonsense. I don't even have anything to SHOW for it.

So despite my SOA showing £200 a month extra, I don't know where that goes. I regularly live hand-to-mouth.

The second problem is my job, which is really difficult to budget for. I do a fair bit of driving and can get through a fair bit of petrol. I can claim it back, but the admin side of my office is a wee bit behind, so it's hard to know when I'm going to get it back. Sometimes I can be waiting on upwards of £100 for up to six weeks before it comes in to my account.

I know that's not an excuse, and I'm not trying to justify myself, but it makes budgeting even harder.

Hovel_lady

Hello and welcome back.
Have you tried keeping a spending diary? I find it very helpful. If you post it on here we don't mind telling you off when you buy ANOTHER coffee or whatever.
Good luck xx

Smilerwoman

A spending diary is a great idea. I don't know what's wrong with me. I even went to the shop and bought some really nice expensive instant coffee in the hope that I might be able to persuade myself to use that instead of going to the shop and buying an Americano. But even that doesn't work all the time. BAD me. :eek:

Part of it is that I tend to suffer from I-don't-care-itis. So I'll be thinking of making an instant and I'll decide I want a proper coffee. My sensible brain will try to resist. But my I-don't-care-itis will flare up and I'll say: "You know what? I don't care. It's £2. It's my one little treat. I don't care."

And it's not even worth it, really. I need to work on controlling that, I think :rotfl:

Hovel_lady

Repeat after me "I will NOT buy coffee. I will NOT buy coffee".
Now, put that purse down :rotfl:
I do know what you mean though. I've done the same in the past and now we're trying to repay £21k of debt which is not much fun. I used to pay over £3 for my favourite mocha in Starb*cks. £3 :eek:

climbgirl

The spending diary will definitely help - it'll show you where your money is really going. Although I suspect that you already know this deep down! It does help to ram it home though.

If you're struggling to go cold turkey with spending on frivilous things, try just cutting back. Instead of having a coffee every day, only have one on Fridays. It becomes more of a treat then and it's much easier gradually cutting something out than trying to do it all at once.

Smilerwoman

Thanks guys,

I've taken your advice and set up a DFW Diary. Will try to keep it updated. It's here. Please tell me off if I start turning into a caffeine-fuelled spending monster.

DarnIt_3

I am like you, I also spend money and have idea where it goes! I actually cut up my debit card so I couldn't spend frivilously, it forced me to ask my OH for money, and I only asked when I really needed it. It was a great way to restrict my spending.

After nearly ten years together, I now, out of choice have my own bank account, I can manage my money perfectly now, I leave my bank cards at home when I go out and am not worried about it.

It's about control for you by the sound of it, you need to say no to yourself

I tell you something though....MSE has saved me a fortune, I went on the next website as the new catalogue came out the other day and loaded £700 worth of stuff in my basket...I only have a £150 limit so the rest would have to come out my bank! I actually stopped myself! Couldn't believe and then spent half an hour on here reading posts about debts and then closed down the 'Next' page. It's become an obession at the moment about running my finances correctly, but thats due to MSE. So come on here regularly, its a great way of support.