Pocketmoney Discussion Thread

pipkin71

claire1234 wrote: »

its nice to hear other peoples opinions as i am not there mum but in this relationship i handle all the money etc so i will stick to the £20 per month and no more.

Hi Claire.

I can appreciate you handle the money, but has your OH expressed his opinions or is he leaving this one down to you? Does your OH think they shoud have more pocket money, or less, or wants it to stay the same?

I give my DDs [9 + 11] £5 per week. I also buy their top-ups for their mobiles every couple of months or so, but I would say £20 was reasonable, especially as you need to get your finances in order.

Why doesn't your OH see his children anymore? Don't answer if it's too personal. I was just wondering - perhaps if contact could be re-established, then pocket money could be swapped for time together doing fun stuff.

BW Pipkin xxxx

scottishchick27

pipkin71 wrote: »

Hi Claire.

Why doesn't your OH see his children anymore? Don't answer if it's too personal. I was just wondering - perhaps if contact could be re-established, then pocket money could be swapped for time together doing fun stuff.

BW Pipkin xxxx

I'm glad you asked that, I wondered too.

pipkin71

scottishchick27 wrote: »

I'm glad you asked that, I wondered too.

I wasn't going to, as I didn't want claire to think I was just being nosey

It may explain why the children just think of the money and also why claire feels as she does regarding the issue of money IYSWIM.

Again though claire, please don't feel that you have to answer, and I'm not criticising anything either.

Pipkin xxxx

DeeDee74

i used to give mine £20 a month but i allways found thay wanted to spend it everyweek on some expensive game and i ended up allways having to pay the extra..
when i split up with the ex i stopped paying them it due to having so many other things i had to pay.

know im thinking i should start again. my oldest ds(11)has sayed £140 for birthday and xmas. hes saving for a nintendo which im planning on getting him for xmas...
i kinda figger £20 plenty when i buy them everything anyway....

claire1234

hiya,

no feel free to be nosey -- we use to always see them and they would stay each weekend; im putting it down to growing up.
they were forever arguing, trying to break me and their dad up, wanting more money each weekend, making up stories, also saying how they wanted to stay at friends house instead of see there dad at weekends so in the end their mum picked them up one night and the kids decided they did not want to stay anymore, so basically up to them & suppose there are growing up! yes we do miss them & we contact them via text & msn but their mother does put words into there mouths/head.

before we always took them places like flamingoland / light water valley / alton towers / camping but they wanted pocket money aswell.
each weekend they would also get new clothes / games etc.

my fella isnt leaving the decisions all to me & we both thought of posting on here to see what other people do,
he feels that £20 a month each pocket money & some top up credit is more than enough but when they text/ring asking for more he feels guilty and feel he has to give them more.
myself not been a parent im never sure what is enough; too much / not enough so we just wanted a few more opinions.

erm . . .. "It may explain why the children just think of the money "
i have no idea why this is and i dont know if its just all children, possible the friends they have? im not sure, when me and their dad first got together it was £5 per fortnight which was a £5 to them and i remember they use to get magazines and sweets . . .. . . . oh hows its changed!

thanks everyone

scottishchick27

Does your OH pay maintenance as well?

claire1234

yes he does,

Curv

My 13 year old gets £15 a month each from me and his Dad (we aren't together). His Dad's £15 goes straight into an online savings account and is for long term goals (uni, car, etc.). He has no access to it other than through his Dad.

The £15 from me goes into an online account (in my name) with atm card access, opened purely for this purpose. My son has the card and PIN for that account and so can get to the money as and when he needs it. That money is for things like his Runescape membership, birthday and Christmas presents and pretty much anything he wants to spend it on - within reason! If he misbehaves, I can take money back out of the account as a punishment - only after warnings etc, of course. It's a very effective deterrent.

We arrived at those amounts as it equates to about £1 per day and it seems to work well, although this will be his first Christmas buying his own presents so, we'll see....

princess

Son 13 gets £25 per month plus WOW subscription and £5 mobile top up. He manages this very well and never asks for any more.

pipkin71

Thanks claire.

claire1234 wrote: »

my fella isnt leaving the decisions all to me & we both thought of posting on here to see what other people do,
he feels that £20 a month each pocket money & some top up credit is more than enough but when they text/ring asking for more he feels guilty and feel he has to give them more. Children master the guilt thing in the womb


erm . . .. "It may explain why the children just think of the money " If they chose not to see dad, but knew that by phoning they could get what they wanted, that's why I was thinking they may just think of the money if that makes sense. They know they can get dad on a guilt trip type of thing, but they aren't risking contact because they have chosen not to have any
i have no idea why this is and i dont know if its just all children, possible the friends they have? im not sure, when me and their dad first got together it was £5 per fortnight which was a £5 to them and i remember they use to get magazines and sweets . . .. . . . oh hows its changed!

thanks everyone

It's hard isn't it, knowing what to do for the best.

My DDs have £5 a week, plus top up, so I would say that's reasonable.

BW Pipkin xxxx