Mutton Job

Kefi

My parents split up when I was small,but my father remarried in America and I got a little sister when I was 22. I adored her from the moment I laid eyes on her. Where is the problem?
My sister is to marry next Spring in America. She has asked me to be her Maid of Honour, and my 2 daughters to be bridesmaids. There will be 7 of us in total. I am 50 yrs old. The chosen bridesmaids dress for us all is 'My best friend's wedding' meets 'Big fat greek wedding'. It is not a nice dress and certainly not anything I would have ever worn, despite being a tall and trim bird. I have tried it on and Bette Davis in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane' comes to mind. All the other bridesmaids are between 16 and 23 years, and can get away with this all this froth, shiny material. For fear of upsetting my little sis, which is the last thing I would ever want to do, as she is a love and a dear person, should I just shut up and put up.

White_Sapphire

Short answer: Yes. Sorry, but it's the bride's choice, and saying that you think that the dress is hideous, and by extension that she has no taste, will offend her. Just smile and be happy that your little sister has found the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with.

johannalf88

If it is that you just don't like the dress then you should stay quiet, if you are uncomfortable in it, feel it is too short etc, then I would have a quiet word. But I wouldn't mention that I do not like the dress, it is her choice.
I am pulling my hair out now trying to find dresses all three of my bridesmaids will wear, a they all voice there opinion! Agh!!! So bear that in mind it is hard to find one dress that everyone likes!

Kittendreich

To me - if the bride is paying she gets to choose. If not, a bit more discussion is required.

If you just don't like the dress - then just grin & wear it for the day - at most mention that you feel a bit old for the dress, but will wear it for her if that's what she wants. If it is actually unsuitable (e.g. far too short, can't fit boobs in/wear appropriate bra, can't sit in it...etc) then I'd mention that you are uncomfortable in it for that reason and if she would consider an alteration you'd be grateful.

You clearly love your sister so a dress isn't worth making a fuss over in the grand scheme of things.

LEJC

Is the dress really bad or is it a case of the American taste is different to the British taste?...or is it just that your sister doesnt recognise that you dont think the dress wont look good on you...afterall as you say she is a lot younger than you and your tastes are bound to be different not only from the age gap but from the cultural differences of living in different countries.
Hopefully you will get the chance to try the dress on before the wedding at a fitting and you could potentially raisee the subject of the dress being "awkward " to wear then...

Other than that I think its just a case of go with the flow...its for one day...her special day...so wear the dress and hopefully all will be ok.....there are other bridesmaids too so you wont be alone and possibly you could always think of the fact that whilst you may feel uncomfortable in the dress ultimately its not you everyone has come to see...its your sister so I doubt anyone will make a hurtful comment to you about what you are wearing...but it would be hurtful to not attend just because you dont like the dress....

Maysie

Have you got a pic of it?

Idiophreak

johannalf88 wrote: »

I am pulling my hair out now trying to find dresses all three of my bridesmaids will wear, a they all voice there opinion! Agh!!! So bear that in mind it is hard to find one dress that everyone likes!

Never understood why people would stress themselves out about this, really.

We just went to the shop and had them pick out a style each that they liked - and just got them made in the same colours. They'll all be distinctively bridesmaids and will "match", but will all be wearing something that flatters their shape and makes them comfortable.

I guess some people might not be able to do this due to the cost - but it only worked out a few pounds more for us looking at other things on the high street - and in the scheme of a wedding budget wasn't a whole lot to spend to cut out a bunch of hassle

johannalf88

Yeah, I am now tempted just to buy them whatever the cost and tell them to put up with it!!!

Mrsanders

I think a lot of it depends on how your relationship is with your sister and whether you are likely to upset her if you said you didn't like it.

I know I personally wouldn't have minded if one of my bridesmaids had said they were not comfortable in something I would not have expected them to wear it and as you are moh could you maybe have something slightly different in style but the same colour or material to the other bridesmaids?

If you feel that approaching her about it could upset her I would probably not mention it and just put up with it as it's her special day

Nyankochan_2

As you are the Maid of Honour, which sets you apart from the other bridesmaids anyway, it wouldn't be unusual for you to have a slightly different outfit (but still in the same colour, so you still coordinate). Maybe look around online for a style you like and pitch the idea to her in this way?

caledonian_princess

Nyankochan wrote: »

As you are the Maid of Honour, which sets you apart from the other bridesmaids anyway, it wouldn't be unusual for you to have a slightly different outfit (but still in the same colour, so you still coordinate). Maybe look around online for a style you like and pitch the idea to her in this way?

I agree, you can still say the dress is great if you were 30 years younger but for your age it doesn't look good on you. I'm sure she'll understand. Could it be altered for you? Lose some of the froth on your dress?