2 babies under the age of 1.

shy-but-need-help

Our 2nd and 3rd (of five) are a week short of a year apart in age and hand on heart it is my absolute favourite gap we have. We have a gap of nearly six years from oldest to 2nd, then the small gap and then we have a gap of just under 3 years from 3rd to 4th and a gap of just over 3 years from 4th to 5th.... Our bigger gap I'd never have chosen but we suffered secondary infertility, it had advantages of oldest getting to be an only child but it now means she's in an entirely different stage of life to the other four, our three year gaps I really, really am not keen on- the first three year gap was/is the result of several miscarriages between 3rd and 4th, we did try for another small gap, and the second 3 year gap was the result of taking 2 and a half years to conceive her... I'd not have opted to repeat the three year gap as for us it's that horrid needy age, with our less than a year gap we had the big advantage that we were still in baby-mode, hadn't reclaimed a nappy-free, sleep-filled existance again and the older of our close in age pair was a really, really mellow baby and at age one he didn't have a notion of jealousy about the new baby, he just looked at her and wandered off!

Now they are older (7 and 8) it's lovely to see- our 8 year old is special needs (which were entirely unapparent until toddlerhood) and our 7 year old would defend him to the end of the earth if she had to, they are usually plotting something together.

For us it really did suit us, if I'd have been able to chose my gaps rather than being landed with what polycystic ovaries made happen I'd have opted for 12-18month gaps each time, much preferable gaps for us and how we deal.

Pink.

Hi polejunkie,

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I know that you are feeling mixed emotions right now but I still think you deserve congratulation.

I can't help with having children close together because there is a four year then a six year gap between our three and I think in hindsight it might have been better to have them closer together as it's very difficult trying to find things to do with a sixteen year old, a twelve year old and a six year old. So there are advantages to having them close together, although I imagine the early years will be hard work. I also know what it's like to have a 'surprise' baby....the fear, all the plans flummoxed, the financial worries, how will I cope etc. All I can say that our particular surprise was the best thing that ever happened to our family and to us as a couple.

I think that you should get more help and advice on the familiy's board so I've moved your thread over there.

Pink

delain

Ida_Notion wrote: »

Lastly, when choosing a double buggy, don't forget to pick something that can accommodate a good-sized shopping tray beneath it so that you don't have to rely on expensive car trips to take advantage of multi-buys and family sized economy packs of stuff. Bear in mind though that picking something too generously proportioned can see you wedged with two kids in tow into the fruit and veg shop doorway. Don't ask me how I know this one...

Ooh congratulations pop over to the pregnancy and parents threads, lots of us there with all these things going on too.

I do this... by shopping online when the kids are asleep! £150 odd worth of shopping isn't going under any buggy I've ever seen

I have also got stuck in a shop with a double buggy, and I got my single one stuck on a bus last year, the bus driver had to help and asked why everyone seems to feel they need massive prams at the moment :rotfl:

My current youngest and bump will have a 16 month age gap, but I did survive having twins and the multi save offers of things can be an absolute godsend.

As other people have said, hand me downs if they are the same gender is very useful.

As for coping... Do what you need to. Your LO's head won't explode if he has the odd extra hour watching TV, and they won't suffer for having to share your time!

fozzeh

Congrats and good luck! Second on the way for us in 2 months and the other is 2 and it's going to be fun!

I used to know someone who had 2 sets of twins (yes, 4 children) who were 10 months apart and all 4 boys will be in the same class at school! Crazy stuff!

delain

fozzeh wrote: »

Congrats and good luck! Second on the way for us in 2 months and the other is 2 and it's going to be fun!

I used to know someone who had 2 sets of twins (yes, 4 children) who were 10 months apart and all 4 boys will be in the same class at school! Crazy stuff!

Really? You would have thought they'd spread them across 2 classes, 4 siblings in one class seems an awful lot :eek:

fozzeh

They're only about 2 or 3 now but I think he said he wants them all in the same one! Crazy stuff!

delain

fozzeh wrote: »

They're only about 2 or 3 now but I think he said he wants them all in the same one! Crazy stuff!

Tell your friend not to be too surprised if the school want to split them. lol.

Alikay

I foster 2 little ones just 10 months apart. My advice would be to treat them as individuals right from the start. Don't dress them the same even if they're the same sex, make sure each has some individual time with you and develop their individual skills and interests.
Oh, and make sure no 3 doesn't come along within a year - once they outnumber you you're in trouble!

polejunkie

Alikay wrote: »

I foster 2 little ones just 10 months apart. My advice would be to treat them as individuals right from the start. Don't dress them the same even if they're the same sex, make sure each has some individual time with you and develop their individual skills and interests.
Oh, and make sure no 3 doesn't come along within a year - once they outnumber you you're in trouble!

I am already out numbered, this is baby 4.

JimmyTheWig

fozzeh wrote: »

I used to know someone who had 2 sets of twins (yes, 4 children) who were 10 months apart and all 4 boys will be in the same class at school! Crazy stuff!

Wow, now that's impressive.


No specific advice for the OP. Agree with others who have said "do what you need to to cope and don't feel guilty about it" and "generally you'll find ways of coping".
Make sure you give your support network (e.g. parents, inlaws) helpful things to do. Maybe have a list of things at the ready that need doing for when people offer help?
Ask for advice about tandem feeding if appropriate. From what I've heard it shouldn't be an issue.
There's an organisation called Home Start who have volunteers who come round and help families. They're often over-subscribed with people needing their help but I'm sure they'll do what they can for you.
Congratulations, and good luck.