Aspergers Syndrome/Dyspraxia

mummytofour

I have many many traits and three children on the spectrum. I failed everything at school. But 5 yr ago went back into education as I felt better than working in Macdonalds... I have just gained a 2.1 at uni in in social work. Dont give up hope but it took me many many years to be able to cope with ppl, new situations and work out what I wanted to do. The nest part about my course was that many other ppl on my course felt the same way I do about society and justice etc so I had a good starting point. The help provided via DSA was good.
But I do think an important point for me was identifying that actually I am a little odd, slow and not everybody will like me, this meant I could be gentle with myself and relise that I do find somethings hard.

skater_kat

i also have a masters degree and i know that at my uni, the disability support team will not provide support unless you have a diagnosis from the NHS. as many people with AS know, gaining a DX can take years.

MrandMrsB

skater_kat wrote: »

i have AS and i do all of these type of things too i think a lot of people on the spectrum have a strong sense of rights/wrongs of this world which makes us excellently placed to do social justice type work

Oh you are like my son. He's brilliant, but accuses me of not believing in him, so sometimes I wish he could hear / read my honest opinion. He's into politics although he's too honest to get far!

For a week of so he has been very tetchy (almost paranoid) so I know there is something worrying him, but he won't tell me what.

Any thoughts on how to get the info out of him?

I love speaking with other people who have AS. If you want a discussion privately that would be super.

Savvy_Sue

MrandMrsB wrote: »

Oh you are like my son. He's brilliant, but accuses me of not believing in him, so sometimes I wish he could hear / read my honest opinion. He's into politics although he's too honest to get far!

For a week of so he has been very tetchy (almost paranoid) so I know there is something worrying him, but he won't tell me what.

Any thoughts on how to get the info out of him?

got any car journeys coming up? this is a general teenage tip, but could be especially good for AS: if they are in the car, there is no eye contact expected, plus there is no escape ...

that's how my NT son chose to share "I've got a lump on my testicle!" :rotfl: not a problem, as it turned out after investigation, but JUST the kind of thing you want to hear when stuck in traffic ...

Dognobs

I have asperger's. At 37 I have done many jobs, The job that suits me is driving as I am left alone most of the time I got made redundent last year I have ended up at ASDA. I can get very aggressive and say things others don't I am open about it and m nick name is angry Andy and it is just accepted and get on well with all.

starchild1972

My BiL is aspergers/HFA, never properly diagnosed but sticks out a mile in obviousness in his behaviour and attitude with his obsessions and in some respects in the way he treats people around him(My youngest is ? aspergers and other family members are ASD.).
His one major relationship produced a child. When his ex left and emigrated he said he would go after her. She is in Australia, he got as far a Canada. He got a good job in computer programming in Canada and has not gone any further (£70k a year). He has no qualifications at all, all self taught.
He hasn't seen is son in 6 years and for his last birthday (11th) sent him a book on History of Computer Programming. Shame his son has no interest whatsoever in computers.
He openly admits that if his son had been an android he would be there but as he is human he has no interest.

runninglea

Arrrgh - my son who has asperges, who comes to work with me now is threatening not to come in as my boss said to me 'you can get your lad to do that on Friday'

He has taken exception to this comment - the slightest thing annoys him but people have to speak to him and tell him what to do

bluflashlite

We all have strengths & weaknesses, whether or not we see them as 'disabling' is up to how we view them. Schools, Colleges & other FE places have them too & the same thing goes for employers as well - some have more strengths, others have more weakness, but it's what we actually choose to DO about it that really matters!!
If an educator or employer isn't working out well, it might just be that some adjustments need to be made to get things going more smoothly. No-one can 'fix' something if the don't really understand the particular problem properly, so it can take a good deal of communication and, more importantly, a lot more listening as well.
Parents/Carers are already experts in the practical needs of the person the care for, but a lot of AS people can be good at explaining things to the "uninitiated" too, so all it takes is a little more willingness from professionals and employers to listen more.
But we ALL, universally, need to see the problems as challenges rather than obstacles!
As for the 'fortunate' debate, again, its all about personal views....
I don't have AS myself, but when I can't keep focussed on one task without getting distracted, I can get very envious of those with AS who don't suffer from that difficulty, just because I'd like to get on and finish the task by turning off the part of my brain that has me wandering off-task and turn on the bit that lets me concentrate fully!! (Oh, if only I knew where to find that operating switch!!)
Everybody could benefit from us all being a little more accepting of the fact that having weaknesses is something that applies to every single human being on the planet! Just because our brains appear to be 'wired-up' differently, no-one said that different 'wiring' can't have a few positive benefits along with the shortcomings, so let's relish those strengths and make the most of them whenever & wherever we can!

ikati5

My comments re college seem to have hit a nerve or two, it was not intentional at all. I would lie nothing more than to see my daughter attend college and more than anything mix with her peer group and perhaps one day have a friend. However, while academically capable, socially it is an impossible dream. She beaarly leaves the house and is currently being educated in a group of 3 for gcse's, she cannot cope with groups of people and is hypersensitive to noise, large buildings are a nightmare. But, than you for your encouragement, its great to know that there is a future x

Danni

I'm currently at college, spending most of my time in the autism unit there and only going out in the main college for my A Level Computing lessons. I've not been able to work yet because of various health problems (not related to Asperger's or dyspraxia) but plan to go into computing when I'm able. I'm also hypersensitive to noise, but the autism unit are aware of this and help me deal with it (by helping me access somewhere quieter in my first year, and keeping a quiet classroom for me last year as my mobility is too poor to just leave now).

One of my best friends (Asperger's and severe dyspraxia) had a job as a support worker in a college for learning disabilities, though she did struggle with some of the more practical elements of the job.

What are your daughter's strengths and interests? Computing and IT is a good area for those who enjoy it- I'm wanting to get a job in data entry or similar if I am able to work before getting my degree as I thrive on repetitive tasks. At the same time, some of my friends really struggle with computers (or just don't like them) so are more likely to go into things like horticulture, or work in stock rooms, or in care homes.

Also don't rule out college completely- there are other options out there to being in a massive bustling college. There may be some autism-specific provision in your area, though it may not be that well advertised.