The Force Be With Me on my Debt Free Journey

jediteacher

Hmmm.

I started a diary about 8 months ago and then found out I was pregnant and it all flew out of the window as did my spending.

Brief history:
Got into debt by living beyond our means and also I'm a comfort spender. We've had some really rough times and to make myself feel better I spend! I know this is not a good excuse but it's happened and I need to deal with it.

I have two young children, a 4 year old and a 6 week old. I spoil my little 4 year old which I know I shouldn't - as a child we were given nothing by my mother (single parent with 4 children) and this included positive emotions or interaction. She was and still is an evil person who we try and have as little contact as possible. To get out of the house I would 'go shopping' and this would give me some time out. Unfortunately this habit has continued and to make me feel better I shop even though I don't have the money! As a result of the 'neglect' of my childhood I over compensate with my daughter and she gets nearly everything she wants - a habit that I am now breaking as she will be a real horror the older she gets with a gimme, gimme attitude. I love her dearly and know that that is the most important thing along with my time.

Excuses I know and I really will need to change my mental perspective on things.

I'm now on maternity leave with hardly any money coming in and really need to curb my spending. When I'm bored, sad, depressed, stressed I spend - I don't even need to go to the shops as I can spend, spend, spend from the comfort of my own home! This really needs to stop.

My incentive last time was to try and have baby number 2 but this has happened and I now need to motivate myself once more. In the next few years I really, really want to move to a bigger house in a more rural location but need to clear much more debt so this will be my incentive.

So, the plan is to keep up with this diary even if I'm just chatting away to myself and not making much sense. Will try and really curb this spending and set myself a budget.

Rambling over!:o

jediteacher

Right I missed posting yesterday as my little girl was still poorly and needed her mummy.

I've decided that I really need to get back into mystery shopping. I'm refinding all the sites that I was a member of and trying to remember all my login details. Have managed to find to find four and have already booked some shops in. It doesn't make a whole lot of money but at the moment every penny counts.

I have to be very careful with petrol as I've given myself a limit of £30 a week. This will have to be sustained as I really cannot afford to drive anywhere if I need to. Once the petrol is used up (other than for an emergancy) I will have to walk as the bus is also too expensive. We worked out the cost of petrol vs public transport and even with the huge rise in price of petrol, insurance and road tax it is still cheaper for me to run the car.

The other thing that I really need to aim for is a tidy and more decluttered house. I thought if I set myself a challenge to do something daily then it would slowly start being a habital house again! I will post what I need to do for the week ahead and then tick off as I go along.

Also need to start selling on ebay again as I have a ton of stuff to get rid of. The problem is my account has been limited as a seller due to not sending items out as quickly as buyers expect despite me saying on my listings that posting time will be 7 days. This means that I can only sell 10 items a month which is a real pain as I have literally a cupboard full to list if not more. Ah, well.

This weeks aims:

1. Tidy excess bits in the front room.
2. Sort out the pots and pans rack.
3. Put away all clean laundary.
4. Sort out the new babies small shelf with clothes.
5. Sort out under the sink.
6. Sort out top of bread bin.

I think that will be enough for the week as I have to work around nursery drop off and pick up and my 7 week olds 3 hourly feeds.

Fingers crossed I can do this.

beanielou

Baby steps!
You can do this!

Buffythedebtslayer

Hello Jediteacher xxxx

7 week old babies are hard work, as Beanie says it can be done in babysteps

re shopping habit - something I also have, I sort of changed it to firstly getting it the cheapest way possible (vouchers, codes, points whatever), using up what i had, making or regifting gifts, window shopping (keeping a closed CC on my Amazon account worked wonders for a while - I shopped loads but never bought anything) using and sharing wish lists so you get stuff you want, shopping on line using cashback and codes, shopping at places with free returns (MandS new look) not shopping on Saturdays in the real world but going after work when all you want to do is get home.

I now force myself to wait a week before I buy big stuff, doesn't always work but worth a punt, saved on line baskets are a God send - giving you the buzz of shopping and then time to think.

I am trying to replace the shopping buzz with an organising and selling stuff on Ebay buzz, will let you know how that goes!!

Good Luck xxxx

jediteacher

beanielou wrote: »

Baby steps!
You can do this!

Thanks Beanielou. Love the comment. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

Hello Jediteacher xxxx

7 week old babies are hard work, as Beanie says it can be done in babysteps

re shopping habit - something I also have, I sort of changed it to firstly getting it the cheapest way possible (vouchers, codes, points whatever), using up what i had, making or regifting gifts, window shopping (keeping a closed CC on my Amazon account worked wonders for a while - I shopped loads but never bought anything) using and sharing wish lists so you get stuff you want, shopping on line using cashback and codes, shopping at places with free returns (MandS new look) not shopping on Saturdays in the real world but going after work when all you want to do is get home.

I now force myself to wait a week before I buy big stuff, doesn't always work but worth a punt, saved on line baskets are a God send - giving you the buzz of shopping and then time to think.

I am trying to replace the shopping buzz with an organising and selling stuff on Ebay buzz, will let you know how that goes!!

Good Luck xxxx

Just wanted to say well done on being debt free (noticed your signature). I would sell on ebay more but my account has been permanitely restricted (long story and not my fault) so I cannot sell anymore.

Thanks for the advice I will try your tips as they worked for you!

Hovel_lady

Just dropping in to say hello and wish you luck with your debt busting.
I keep a diary on here too and have found it very useful.
I can relate to the comfort spending. Done plenty of that to deal with stuff rather than actually deal with the stuff in my head.
Keep posting, I'll be subscribing xx

jediteacher

Thanks Hovellady. I'll have a pop over to your diary later today.

Feeling really hacked off by the ebay ban as I'm not sure where I can now sell my mountain of stuff. :mad::mad::mad:

I have a mystery shop today so that should satisfy my spending itch also I will be refunded the cost of the spend!

I have the physio today to help sort out my SPD from pregnancy as it's still not right.

Will try and get on with my list but my father-in-law is coming over to look after the children when I'm at the physio so will not be able to get on. The afternoon is the only time I can sensibly get on as both the children sleep for a few hours.

Must dash as need to pick up my little girl from nursery.

jediteacher

Been feeling really lazy today so have got nothing done in the house.:mad:

Mystery shop went well yesterday although I'm having trouble downloading the photo from my phone - my new laptop will not recognise the software! When I say new laptop it is actually my work one - there's no way we could afford one ourselves.

Feel off the wagon today and went to Mr S where I spent quite a bit of money. After having the baby I'm at the silly plase where my maternity clothes fall off me and my 'normal' clothes are too tight. In Mr S they have a 50% off sale so I treated myself to a dress, top and skirt. I also got my son some clothes as depsite the fact he is only 7 weeks old he has already outgrown his 0-3 months clothes and even some of his 3-6 months.

Today was also the day that I had to buy petrol.

Todays spend:

Clothes: £35.50
Food: £31.64
Petrol: £30.00

Total spend: £97.14:eek::mad:

Not a great day for money saving.

I'm off out this evening to see my classes musical production as I promised them I would. Poor hubby is not looking forward to having the two little ones by himself. He struggles with just the little girl. This will be the first time I leave him with the two of them with him so should be interesting.:D

My physio appoitment went well yesterday and they are not going to sign me off yet which is a relief. The physio agreed that my pelvic joints are still very 'off balance' and my lower back pain is caused by this. My muscles have stretched too much (I had too much amniotic fluid when pregnant and at 5 months looked like I was about to give birth so by 9 months people were asking if I was having triplets!) and they need tightening to.

Have just had three hours respite as both my little girl and baby boy have been asleep.

I have got dinner ready for hubby and my little girl so at least I know they'll be fed. Got the towels, bottles, bibs and muslims ready for evening feeds as baby boy has reflux and it is worse in the evenings. Also put out some spare clothes for hubby as he'll probably get covered in sick as well!!!:p

I've picked up quite a few mystery shops that are all local so I do not spend too much extra on petrol so will be quite busy over the next few days. It's all extra money so will need to make as much as possible especially after todays spends!:eek:

jediteacher

Had a really manic day yesterday but at least it was a no spend day.:j
Was running around from nursery, to doctors, to school visit, to friends for catch up. This meant that the baby didn't really sleep yesterday and my little girl was exhausted.

Spent some money today on the Boden sale. Was given some money from my grandmother to get some new dresses for my little girl and she wanted them specifically from there. I will count this as a spend though as it will come out of my bank account.

Spend: £48


Had to reschedule my mystery shops that I had lined up for this week as everyone is soooo tired and I just did not have the energy to go round the shops. Also my baby boy needed to settle back into his very loose routine.

Not done very well with the list of things to do this week - infact I've not done any. Feel like I'm going backwards at the moment. Sorted out the front room at the beginning of the week but today it looks worse then before!:mad: This house is so small and we have too much stuff.

Trying to get motivated to get something done today as all I've done is feed the baby, two sets of laundary, played with my little girl and that's it! Right getting off my bum and sorting some things in this front room

Off I go.........

Hovel_lady

Don't be hard on yourself - you have 2 kids as well as everything else.
A NSD is excellent and you were given the money for the Boden clothes so it wasn't YOUR money you spent so a NSD too.
xx

jediteacher

Nearly fell off the diary wagon again!:eek:

Not been on here all week as I've had a throat infection and a high fever. I had to call in my lovely in-laws to look after the children as I couldn't get out of bed and hubby couldn't get time off work. We're not back to normal yet as my little girl has an awful head cold and hubby is complaining of a sore throat. Hopefully the baby won't come down with anything.

I'll pop back later to finish as I'm trying to grab a bite to eat before baby wakes up.