Told my in-laws about our debt

moonlightpjs

Hi everyone, first of all thanks to mostly all of you who replied to my previous thread (if you read it- you'll know what I mean), I am feeling slighly better and determined to sort out our problems as soon as Christmas is over, my husband and I are determined to do it and all your help is invaluable.

I just thought I'd let you know (maybe somebody is in the same situtaion) but we have just had my husbands brother, wife and kids round to swap presents and I took the bull by the horns so to speak and told them that next year we would only be buying presents for the children and it would be just one present for each of them. I was suprised by the look of relief on their faces and when I told them the whole story, they admitted they were in the same boat with about the same amount of debt as us and for exactly the same reasons. I couldn't believe it!!!!! We had a really good chat about it all and I learnt some things I never knew - we always thought they were quite well off but they were just doing what we were doing (though they hadn't been ill) - living beyond their means and they are now in position, just like us, where they just cant do it anymore.
Though I wouldn't wish the burden of debt on anyone - and this may sound awful but I dont mean it to - but its good to know we have somebody to talk to, to discuss ways of getting out of debt etc and relief in knowing we don't have to go though it by ourselves, and I also don't feel so guilty!
We all feel that at the moment we can't tell our parents but it helps to have each other so maybe if you are in the same position it may help you to tell somebody. appearances can be deceptive!!!! Have also been to teh GP's who have put me on happy pills to help me cope a little better so hopefully they will begin to work soon.

Anyway, thats all for now, I'll be back soon with my SOR and needing more advice and in the meantime will wish you all a very Happy Christmas and thanks again for all your support - have passed the website on to my sister-in-law. I think I would be lost without this site now.

Tustastic

What a great result weller171 - two families heaving a collective sigh of relief at not having to keep up any pretences or keep up with the Joneses any more. The little ones will have a wonderful Xmas in 2007 as well - it just won't have been paid for by debt. May you all sleep soundly tonight and have a lovely Xmas knowing you are starting on your debt free journey.

Mrs_Sparkle

Well done you! And it's good that your brother-in-law and family will understand your position as they know how it feels. It's amazing how many people do have debt and we just don't realise because they hide it well. Good luck and wishing you a very merry Christmas.

Kazonline

Well done Weller, I've been wondering how you've been. I hope that now you'll be able to have a lovely family Christmas.
Kaz x

duncans-mum_2

Well done for biting the bullet and telling them, I bet they are so relieved too. And by doing so and passing on this site that you will also help them tremendously like it has for others.

I bet we could all be surprised at how many people we know whom we think seem to do so well, but are probably in the same boat, but hide it so well.

Maisie

Weller It will be a happy Christmas for all of you with the relief that you can talk to your in laws.

Have a wonderful time.

Don't forget the best bargains for Christmas 2007 are in the January sales.

All the very best to you and family.

Luv Maisie

icklejulez

Im in a similar boat to you with debt but unfortunatly a few months ago my in laws found out about our debt and they were very upset and hurt that we hid it. They are not the easiest of people to talk to at the best of times and it has put a strain on our relationship with them. Not looking forward to xmas and constantly feeling like a child having to explain my every purchase. I still dont know whether I would of told them first put in the postion again but were in recovery now and building a future. All I can say is you've seen the light and if you can change your spending habits then you should be proud. Too many people can get in so much debt at such an early age. We are not brought up to save for what we want and I hope through my experiences I can nbring my children up to save for what they want. Well done in realising and assessing the situation. I am sure this is the most emotional time and as your debts vanish you will feel far happier than any spending spree could do!

x

csarina

Well done for facing your problem head on and doing something about it....there is no shame in aknowledging that you are in debt and want to do something about it............

I gave up buying presents for all and sundry years ago, my grand children get £10 each until they start work or reach 21 whichever comes sooner, by that time I guess they earn more than I get in pension....they should buy me something!!!!!

Their parents do not get anything, they had it all when they were children.....hard may be, but I refuse to live in penuary and debt to buy Christmas presents which may not be appreciated anyway...........they all know the situation we are in and they are all better off than we are.

Christmas seems to have become an excuse to spend spend spend regardless of cost, so very short sighted..........I believe there are so many people who do not acknowledge the debt they are in..........

I was in Tesco yesterday, people were shopping like the shops were closing for good.........trolleys full to the top with food and booze..........how much of it will end up in the trash can in a couple of days?????????????

Red_Fraggle_3

Remember teling my mum and dad - it was a relief - loved the lectures not :rotfl: - even now I still feel like I must justify my spending - all debts paid off now

There are many people who have debt's I realised that when I had my LBM and started talking to people (not mum and dad) my grandad lost his business before I was born and dad would never get into a mess likke he did from seeing it - think he was disappointed I had but the support was there and I feel proud to have dealt with the debts and love to see the savings rack up

Just got paid and gave mum Jan savings for Xmas 2007 (always done this even before the debts) - think this may be little too sad saving for xmas 07 before 06 hehe :beer:

LookingAhead

Well done for taking the bull by the horns.

I really hope this helps someone else as well. There is no point keeping up pretences eh?

anniestar

Very well done. Its great having someone to share things with. Good luck to both you and your in laws. Merry Christmas.