Your Personal feelings on debt? Ashamed? Embarassed? Worried?

roswell

lisa_75 wrote:

It is especially difficult at this time of year when my mate on income support is spending £400 on each of her 4 kids and I can’t even afford to spend half that on my 2 kids and my husband has a good job..

provi / shopercheck / any other door step lender and then if she cant pay it all back bankrupcy after all she has nothing to loose.

System

Thanks LTD. After being at home for Xmas, I was thinking starting a thread on exactly the same subject. I have had to tell my employers about my debt but I chosen not too tell any of my family or friends - because whilst I am proud to be dealing with my debts on DFW and with mi OH I would be ashamed to tell my friends or family. And do you know, the amount of pressure I feel when my mates say 'You must be loaded - why dont you buy a house - because I am in Married Quarters at the moment' is unreal. I keep lieing like a hairy egg. I say stuff like 'We are biding our time', 'The housing market will come back to us', 'I'm saving to put a huge deposit down whewe finally buy!'. My dad and mi father in law asked me the other day - 'Why dont I buy a house with 3 bedrooms so we'll have more room' and again I'm lieing through my teeth! My mate an d his business colleague is venturing into property and have asked me if I would like to join them. 'Surely I can spare £300 a month' There is so much pressure not telling them I am just too concerned about what they would think. It would devesate mi dad as he is so proud of me and some of my mates may think twice about me.

Mrs_Sparkle

lennymfo wrote:

Thanks LTD. After being at home for Xmas, I was thinking starting a thread on exactly the same subject. I have had to tell my employers about my debt but I chosen not too tell any of my family or friends - because whilst I am proud to be dealing with my debts on DFW and with mi OH I would be ashamed to tell my friends or family. And do you know, the amount of pressure I feel when my mates say 'You must be loaded - why dont you buy a house - because I am in Married Quarters at the moment' is unreal. I keep lieing like a hairy egg. I say stuff like 'We are biding our time', 'The housing market will come back to us', 'I'm saving to put a huge deposit down whewe finally buy!'. My dad and mi father in law asked me the other day - 'Why dont I buy a house with 3 bedrooms so we'll have more room' and again I'm lieing through my teeth! My mate an d his business colleague is venturing into property and have asked me if I would like to join them. 'Surely I can spare £300 a month' There is so much pressure not telling them I am just too concerned about what they would think. It would devesate mi dad as he is so proud of me and some of my mates may think twice about me.

I'm the same hun. People always think we're much better off than we are and, although I've told a few friends we have debts, no one except you lot know the figures involved. All my friends are really good with money and know where every penny goes and I'm the second highest earner among them with nothing to show for it

System

Mrs_Sparkle wrote:

I'm the same hun. People always think we're much better off than we are and, although I've told a few friends we have debts, no one except you lot know the figures involved. All my friends are really good with money and know where every penny goes and I'm the second highest earner among them with nothing to show for it

Cor just like me! It is so much pressure to keep up the image in terms of what I say because I dont spend money like I used to! But hey, my debt has really set me back loads of years.

W.Ford

I have only got into debt quite recently but I do feel embarrassed about it, especially when people are spending lots of money round me and its difficult to not appear tight. I had a bit of bad luck about 6months ago and lost my job, then stupidly relied on a friend who had a job for me but after waiting 3-4 months realised he had let me down. Instead of getting on with things I got quite down and started buying things as a way of coping. Now ive joined this forum and accepted my debt im feeling better already and looking forward to one day being debt free again. So far ive only paid off £100 but its a start.

cathybird

not embarrassed, but I do wish I'd sorted out how to be sensible with money quite a few years earlier ... well having said that not sure if I have sorted out how to be sensible yet! ...

dlb

Not embarrassed any more, just proud to be dealing with my debt at last and not keep thinking it will all be ok.

I have told all my friends and family and luckly they are very suportive.

It has actually taken over my life trying to become debt free, i am always trying to think of ways to cut back and save more, and i am happy again, iv got a long way to go, but enjoying the fact im doing it!

LavenderLily_2

I feel really angry with myself, I have been so stupid and what's worse, I have known what I have been doing but just buried my head in the sand and hoped it would all sort itself out. Ridiculous.

I need a good spanking.

But that's a different topic.

Crazychik

No matter how you feel - you always learn from your mistakes.

By declaring bankruptcy myself in 2001, It taught me the biggest value ever - how to handle money, everything is paid for cash up front, if I aint got the money, I dont have the goods , or simple - save!

I told my Step-dad, that It felt like "taking the easy way out", as he said - its not the end of the world. And he was right.

Mrs_Sparkle

I actually got quite p*ssed off on this board yesterday with this comment which was made to me by a stroppy teenage student- who ironically is aiming to finish his course with £15K of debt so not that much different to me really.

Originally Posted by flaminglee50
What are you doing wasting your money on the internet if your in 22 grands woth of debt.
Shouldnt you be out working, not wasting ur money and time picking on younger people.
Sort your problems out first.

And that's why I'm glad I don't tell more people about my debt. Hubby knows how much I owe and you all know but I'm anonymous. I'm embarrassed that I haven't managed my money better over the years but feel strongly that I'm on the right path now and this is a relief.