Your Personal feelings on debt? Ashamed? Embarassed? Worried?

Phoenix79_2

I had fun, i led a life beyond my means but had a bloody fantastic time doing so! Now i'm paying it back!! Ashamed? Not at all. You only live once. 2007 will be my final year in debt and i look forward to 2008 and saving for my future.

Broken_hearted

Phoenix79 wrote:

I had fun, i led a life beyond my means but had a bloody fantastic time doing so! Now i'm paying it back!! Ashamed? Not at all. You only live once. 2007 will be my final year in debt and i look forward to 2008 and saving for my future.

Such a great way of looking at it.

monalisaDFW

I have been ashamed and lied to myself outright and others by omission but I don't intend on doing that anymore from no on I am proud to be dealing with my finances in an adult way.

Red_Fraggle_3

there were so many other things that all had the same lightblub moment - that I hasve been honest and open about it all - I realised that what I thought was a lot of debt (17k) in my eyes was to not alot to many.

I think many people felt embrassed that I told them my position - why I don't know - to me if I was open and honest it made it less scary - once I had told my parents I felt like the weight had gone - I know dad could have paid it off but he didn't he supported me took a loan out for me as i couldn't get it (bad credit rating) so i had to make those payments were made -

I am honest that I now have no debts and still say I can't afford things - on a lot less than my friends but I bet they would love to have my savings hehe - I do - it's a long road but as long as you have the support from somewhere thats the main thing

The posts from the lady who is having problems with her partner - I wish I had her courage at the time - sorry to ramble

kazl_2

It's really embarrassing and I feel ashamed that we've got in such a mess. Only 2 people know - me and DH. I prefer to keep it that way and sort ourselves out without anyone knowing how useless we've been with money. My worst fear is our teenage kids finding out.

The best thing about this site is having people to share the problem with:grouphug: Im looking forward to posting details of how well we are doing at paying off our debts.

vix206

Up until yesterday i would have said I was ashamed, embarrassed and beside myself with worry over my debt. I have been struggling with my debts for the past 3 years on my own, and couldn't face telling my husband out of shame and denial. I wanted to protect him from my debt, even though it was amassed via very un-selfish reasons. Basically we didn't have enough money to cover bills/food etc. so I buried all the extra costs on my credit card, then took out a loan to clear the creit card debt, and then ran up another £3000 on the credit card.

Yesterday I told my husband. He has been so supportive and we have spent the last couple of days adding it all up, looking at the patterns and reasons and working out what we do now. I did feel ashamed, weak and like the worst wife in the world for hiding it from him - but he has been so wonderful and level-headed I just wish I had gone to him with the problem in the first place!

I am looking forward to being a more active member of MSE instead of a guilty lurker!! :j

Mrs_Sparkle

vix206 wrote:

Up until yesterday i would have said I was ashamed, embarrassed and beside myself with worry over my debt. I have been struggling with my debts for the past 3 years on my own, and couldn't face telling my husband out of shame and denial. I wanted to protect him from my debt, even though it was amassed via very un-selfish reasons. Basically we didn't have enough money to cover bills/food etc. so I buried all the extra costs on my credit card, then took out a loan to clear the creit card debt, and then ran up another £3000 on the credit card.

Yesterday I told my husband. He has been so supportive and we have spent the last couple of days adding it all up, looking at the patterns and reasons and wrking out what we do now. I did feel ashamed, weak and like the worst wife in the world for hising it from him - but he has been so wonderful and level-headed I just wish I had gone to him with the problem in the first place!

I am looking forward to being a more active member of MSE instead of a guilty lurker!! :j

Well done for coming clean and you're a lucky lady to have a very supportive husband. You've got no need to feel weak as there are plenty of us in the same boat.

jillie1974

i'm more ashamed it certainly wasnt the way i was brought up! my parents never had much spare money and so if had to replace somthing would have to save up for it. they were fortunate in that they never had to have a mortgage and my mum doesnt have an overdraft or a credit card!! i was going the same way but i guess things just went out of control. 1st i got overdraft then credit card, then another card etc etc then with OH debts we consolidated them but i let things get out of control again:eek:
i've been honest with my mum about the whole situation and she's been great a bit disapointed with me at first but other than that has been really supportive since we owned up! but MIL and FIL dont know the full extent and even to this day (we've been 7 months since LBM) dont know that we are with CCCS that we have a strict budget etc every month.. scared to tell them as his mum will prob have a rant about it all ...

Lydia.42

Too many bad feelings to be listed, but amongst the top of the list would have to be regret.
I regret (OH and i both) spending stupidly, and consolidating time and again, without the knowledge i have now of how my actions would limit the choices i would have in later life.
I look at friends who have been sensible with their money, and think how can you afford to do X, Y, Z? But then I remember it's because they weren't stupid, and don't owe thousands, so all their wages are theirs, and not the bank's interest charges.

But hey, looking on the bright side, my OH and i have our health, a much longed for baby on the way, and each other. We also had our light-bulb moment in Dec 05, and have cleared over 10k in 12 months.....so i guess another feeling top of the list would be relief that we are dealing with our mess.

Have a happy and healthy Christmas and New Year everyone.

x

taxi73

I am certainly not ashamed of my debts...I get annoyed with myself for consolidating and then spending again...I wouldn't have consolidated had I have found this site first...on the other hand if I hadn't borrowed money my business would've gone under!!!
After joining this site I've learnt a lot of ways to manipulate my money...things I would never dreamed off...a simple example...I used to pay as much as possible every month off 0% cards but after coming on here it's best to pay the minimum and keep the rest in a savings account earning interest..I'd never even thought of that...there are allsorts of very simple effective ways that I've found on here!!...I don't think anyone should feel embarressed as loads of people are in debt!!