I have just told my OH about my debt

helpmeplease47

My LBM was early last year when I realised I owed c£40k a mixture of loans and CC's. I have been very frugal over the last 18 months and when totalling up my debt it is now £27k. GULP yes, still a lot considering my salary is only £18k.

My problem arose as our mortgage is due for renewal in July, this is the only financial commitment I have with my husband, he pays it but my name is on it. He had no idea about my debts and I thought telling him would kill me. he is always in the clear and thought I was too. I posted on this board earlier today, called help me please debts (I cannot post the link) and I told him just now. I am back at work now so cannot give a SOA but needed to write this down. I sat him down and just said it, I have massive debts and don't think I can be an applicant on the mortgage. He walked around the room, shook and said get all your statements, so I did and the total was just over £27k. I told him it was all in my name which is is and it's my mess to sort out. I wish I had told him right at the start, he said he wished I had too.

It all began when I had children I now have 2, 10 years ago and my wages were cut in half, childcare costs, clothing, feeding them and at the time still wanting a holiday etc. It got out of control and for the last 18 months I have been getting it back in control and thought I could continue to pay back slowly but still paying back without him knowing.

The mortgage application requires all my financial affairs so I had to tell him. I'm glad I have but now who knows, can we get a mortgage on his salary alone. I look like I have been fighting as my eyes are red from crying (said had a bit of bad news to work...) but I know this is my mess to sort.

I await him coming home tonight and once the children are asleep the next steps. The next few days will be hard.

Thanks for all support so far x

goodgirl80

Hi there, you have made a good first step in sorting this out. When you are able to come back and post SOA then people will be able to give you good specific suggestions. Take care.

doobiesis_2

Well done :beer:

Probably a load off your mind telling your OH, you've faced up to your debts, and that's the worst part - Not saying it's going to be an easy ride till they're paid off... But it does get easier and before you know it, you'll be used to skimping and saving all your money.

Keep us updated.

dark^knight

Hi,

It had to be done. A problem shared is a problem halved. There is nothing wrong with asking for help.

Good luck!

30grand

Well done telling him :T

I think you said in your other post your husband has a top position in a building society. Therefore I'm sure your debts aren't too much of a shock to him in the current climate.

Have you been hiding bills etc from him? Try not to worry, also tell him you've been reducing them too. One final thing? What do you mean your mortgage is up for renewal? Do you mean the deal is coming to an end and you need to shop around? Can you not just stay with the same mortgage company? I don't have a mortgage so not sure how this all works but surely worst case scenario you just get a slightly worse deal?

Perhaps he could apply for the mortgage renewal himself if his credit file is stronger? :grouphug:

Yoghurt_Pot

Well done!

So glad you told him!

Now you can talk to him about this and not bottle it up

Jubilee76

Hi

Can I say a great big huge well done :T

1 - You reduced your debt to £27k in 18 months! That is incredible. Well done to you. You must have some great tips to share on here as I think that is pretty amazing especially as you were doing it on your own

2 - You shared the problem with your OH. That is a massive step and I hope you do feel some relief now too as others have said, a problem shared and all that.

Keep posting on here as people are brilliant. Even just reading the posts encourages me when I am having a low day and there isn't a situation that someone else on here hasn't experienced and may be able to offer some kind words of advice.

Jubilee x

saltnvinegar

Another positive thing to consider is if your debt was c£40k 18 months ago then you have cleared c£13k off your debt in 18 months which is massive!

Continue going at that rate you are going to clear your debt in less than 2 years. If you're not in arrears this could actually work in yoru favour as you will have massive credit accounts which will have shown that you have repaid responsibly which should look good on your credit report.

You've done the right thing being open with your OH. It would not have been pretty if that had all come out in a mortgage application, so best to move forward with your eyes open.

Best

SnV

southernbelle

I am absolutely no expert, but just wanted to say well done for telling your hubbie. That must have taken a lot of courage :money:

Hovel_lady

Just wanted to say hello and well done for telling your OH. That's the scary bit over now you can concentrate on sorting the debts out. You've already paid off a big chunk which is brillant.
Good luck with it and let us know how it goes xx

Learning2Budget

Welldone, you have had your lbm, you have cleared an amazing amount already and you have told your OH. Good luck for tonight.x