Over sensitive and how to stop it?!

rdchick

Hello wonderful knowledge horders

I am a 22 year old graduate and have zilch confidence because I am rubbish at saying what I think / feel to anyone, including my parents and bf and often cry a lot. If I get angry I cry, frustrated I cry, overwhelming happiness I cry (ok that one's probably normal) but I am over sensitive about everything. Work hate talking to me because they think I will cry - and I often do - which is seriously embarrassing.

I was also wondering if I went to the doctors would they be able to do something? Do you think I would need counselling? I was wondering if it was possible to get a confidence course that's not just 'well if I can do it so can you' bint telling me stuff like sit up straight blah blah.

I am relatively outgoing in the fact that I can stand up for others but never myself, I work as a receptionist at work so I have to talk to people that I don't know all the time... However as soon as the issue is about me then I clam up and cry!!!

If no one knows then that's cool but if they do (even if it's just tips on how to keep cool and not cry at everything) please share!!

Love and hugs

xxxx

j.e.j.

I don't want to pry, but have you always been someone who's prone to crying easily, or is it something that's just been happening recently?

littlestar1981

It may be worth a chat with your doctor, I got to that point... One day someone wrote in an email 'take care' and because I thought that meant they weren't going to email me again I cried! I also work as a receptionist (in a GP surgery) and if someone was even remotely confrontational with me (even if they just said 'no, I need my prescription today') I would have to pass it to someone else and hide in the toilets to calm down and pull myself together.

I went to the GP, he's put me on medication and I'm seeing a counsellor. Not saying that this combination will be right for you, but I'm just trying to say it is worth talking to him/her about it. Just be aware though, that if they do say counselling might be good for you there's probably going to be a loooong wait for it.

I've heard lots about CCBT, computer based cognitive behavioural therapy, maybe google it and see if it's any help to you? Again, not for everyone, I found it too generic for me personally.

On the other hand I've found a website called Moodscope helpful.

Hope something in this post helps.

rdchick

Hi guys

Thanks for your replies, yep I think I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I am the same, if someone says something even a little bit mean I want to cry. I had a call at work when there was just 3 of us in the office and they wanted to talk to someone urgently and the people they were dealing with had gone home for the evening, they were just frustrated and I asked if anyone wanted to speak to her, they didn't but I couldn't bare to tell her that what she wanted was going to have to wait until the morning, so I made my bf take it (he works with me) as I would just cry! That was tonight by the way!!

I think a trip to the doctors would be wise but I really don't know what is causing this, had no major disturbance etc so don't know what I would say!

Xxx

jenniewb

I get this too, for me I think it worsens if I don't sleep well (which itself is hard as I struggle with insomnia!) I think its part of my depression, like a side effect, to cut a long story short, deal with the depression and you'll gain some stregnth within yourself, you'll find it easier to cope with things.

Also wondered if you have many close friendships or relationships? Having these can also mean you feel stronger as a result- though there is a fine line between a strong friendship and co-dependancy so be wary! I definelty notice a difference with myself anyway, and being able to talk about how you feel when things feel too much to bear can really help as once you have aired what feels so intense and like the worst thing in the world, you can often see it from another angle the next day. I don't seem to be able to do this as well if I am alone then if I have had the chance to talk about things with a friend or someone close that I trust.

Some people though are more sensitive then others as they pick up more information then others in the crowd, its mostly creative types or people who are different in a unique way, that itself can be like a gift if you learn how to grow from it or do something about it: using it to push you forward, using it as an instinctial guide in which way to go in life or using it as some form of motivation to create fantastic things from. When something affects you that deeply and your feeling that desperate for someone to understand where your at or even just to listen, it can drive you to create art work, write books, poetry, songs....being hypersensitive can really be something very useful and even a gift if you are able to harness it into something to create from.

rdchick

I don't know if I am depressed though, I mean I get bouts of sadness but nothing major and generally happy most of the time, especially since sorting my money worries. I sleep pretty well, however do wake up tired.

I don't have a lot of close friendships maybe 2 at most but I can't tell these people EVERYTHING as such, they just get snippits. I think my boyfriend thinks that I just say stuff like 'I'm going to lose weight' or 'I'm going to get a new job' and then I don't (because I have a. a short attention span and b. I change my mind quickly!) so I don't think he believes me when I say stuff. I dunno.

I do always pick up on more info than others, I will say something like 'did you see how blahdblah looked when you said that' or 'what did blahdblah mean by that' and people look at me like I am mental. I probably am!!

Thanks for your help guys, I don't know where I'd be without this site
xxx

MzFitz

I'd make an appointment to see your doctor - it can't hurt, can only help. Maybe write down what you want to say in case emotions overrun and you forget some of the stuff you want to bring up - bullet points that you can pass over if you get a bit "wobbly". I had a horrible time when my son was being bullied at school years ago and my (fab) doc put me on prozac for a while. I'm not saying that's what you need, absolutely not - but for me, it kinda took the edge off stuff.

And in the meantime look at stuff like Rescue Remedy - don't ask me if it works, I just felt better taking the stuff because I felt like I was addressing the way I felt. I also got something in a dropper bottle in the homeopathic section of the chemist called "Confidence" - probably watered down brandy, but again, it felt like I was doing something rather than nothing.

52 and I'm still blubby at times....

welshdent

ANother vote for CBT. There should be practitioners locally to you - google search it

rdchick

CBT?

Just found out that I'm almost getting replaced at work. Just want to cry. I will book in with the doctors though, definitely a must. thanks everyone xxx

welshdent

cognitive behavioral therapy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy

joyfull

I've also been very sensitive all my life (now 55). The world can seem a harsh place at times and often the standard response from others who have a thicker skin is to 'toughen up' etc. Which, if you are a sensitive soul, is of no help.

Try not to see it as a flaw and as something you need to stop or get rid of. It has a very beautiful side, as you are probably very thoughtful and considerate of others, and have empathy and compassion. These qualities are not that common in the world and you could maybe learn to appreciate and value them in yourself.

I've found that the more I've come to accept this quality in myself the easier life has become, because I'm not fighting something that just comes naturally.

By all means learn some skills to help with emotions that spill out at inappropriate times (CBT as suggested, works very well), but also love what qualites you have been blessed with.