Neighbour Problems

now

A child's life could be at risk and as adults we should act whether we like it or not you could end up with another baby P, I know how I would feel if I had just sat back and let it happen. It is not about us that 1 year old has no choice in life other then to hope somebody is brave enough to yell out for help. I am sorry but you have a duty to call for help other then let the bullies of this world win

Gothicfairy

panchenlama wrote: »

hey cm2011

i wouldn't have either gone round or called the policy to be honest. I think you're getting a rough ride...

i expect you felt threatened by him and his behaviour and I would have left them to it. Last thing you want to do is get in the middle of that.

I have family in the police and they all tell me about how they get called to domestics and when they arrive everyone has gone back to normal (whatever that is) and don't want to involve the rozzers...

This is a great example of what is wrong with this country ( in my view and I don't expect people to agree with me)
The police are paid to do a job and to be honest I could not care less how many times they go out and everything is fine and no one wants to involve them etc..That is their job, for every time they attend a domestic and there is no damage and nothing more then heated words and a over worried neighbour there are times when there is something going on and people / children are getting hurt.
How would they know if they never go out ? How would anyone protect the children / beaten and battered wives and husbands if people don't step out of their own little world and help others and get involved.

I'll tell you a story now and maybe you might understand why this is so wrong and people should always try to help others..

Many years ago I was married to a man who though I was a punch bag to be used and abused when he was drunk.
One evening he started laying into me at work ( I worked in a pub) he punched me straight in the face and dragged me out by my hair, no one did anything and that night I ended up in ICU as he tried to kill me.
I still carry the scars and the damage will never be repaired..No one stepped out of their little comfortable world to raise a hand or even call the police and I could have died..How brave and safe they must have felt.

A couple of years ago I saw a man in my local town beating his girlfriend / wife..I stepped in front of her and he punched me ( lost a tooth) but I would do it again in a heart beat as I would rather die doing what I believe is right then live a coward and scared.


OK so that might seem like an OTT rant but please remember that there is a child in this and that someone asked for the police to be called..

Sorry OP but you should have called the police when asked..end of

now

Gothicfairy wrote: »

This is a great example of what is wrong with this country ( in my view and I don't expect people to agree with me)
The police are paid to do a job and to be honest I could not care less how many times they go out and everything is fine and no one wants to involve them etc..That is their job, for every time they attend a domestic and there is no damage and nothing more then heated words and a over worried neighbour there are times when there is something going on and people / children are getting hurt.
How would they know if they never go out ? How would anyone protect the children / beaten and battered wives and husbands if people don't step out of their own little world and help others and get involved.

I'll tell you a story now and maybe you might understand why this is so wrong and people should always try to help others..

Many years ago I was married to a man who though I was a punch bag to be used and abused when he was drunk.
One evening he started laying into me at work ( I worked in a pub) he punched me straight in the face and dragged me out by my hair, no one did anything and that night I ended up in ICU as he tried to kill me.
I still carry the scars and the damage will never be repaired..No one stepped out of their little comfortable world to raise a hand or even call the police and I could have died..How brave and safe they must have felt.

A couple of years ago I saw a man in my local town beating his girlfriend / wife..I stepped in front of her and he punched me ( lost a tooth) but I would do it again in a heart beat as I would rather die doing what I believe is right then live a coward and scared.


OK so that might seem like an OTT rant but please remember that there is a child in this and that someone asked for the police to be called..

Sorry OP but you should have called the police when asked..end of

Hear, hear, far to many of us turn a blind eye and let the thugs of this world run riot :mad: I would step in even if it meant I had to put up with whatever

panchenlama

well done gothicfairy and now. you're both my heroes.

next time there is a thug in the street giving everyone harrassment i'll post for you to come and save the world.

ska_lover

panchenlama wrote: »

hey cm2011

i wouldn't have either gone round or called the policy to be honest. I think you're getting a rough ride...

i expect you felt threatened by him and his behaviour and I would have left them to it. Last thing you want to do is get in the middle of that.

I have family in the police and they all tell me about how they get called to domestics and when they arrive everyone has gone back to normal (whatever that is) and don't want to involve the rozzers...

I happen to agree with this. If they KNOW you have called the police (and quite possibly social services get involved) then they are going to turn on you - and then you have your very own problem.Right with your next door neighbours in your new house. Not what a person wants, at all

If the bloke wanted to call the police he should have done it himself.I would not have got involved on this occasion where he asked you to as he was obviously only doing it to hurt the mother, and if was seriously worried, he would have rung police himself. Or if she was threatening to leeave a child alone, he could have babysat surely???

I would however, call the police in secret if I heard the sounds of violence etc.

Everyone is jumping in with judgements again, oh i would have done this, and shame on you etc, what a load of bullcrap. most people would walk past someone getting a beating in the street, and DEFINATELY most people would not want to get involved with something as serious as this on their own doorstep. The only people who would in fact get involved are likely people who have had a similar thing happen to them as per the lady above who got attacked in a pub, so knows how it feels. However, I am sure your own family would not agree, what if you had been killed by the punch to your face by a complete stranger? Would you advocate a member of your family risking their life to help a complete stranger - cos I honestly would not.

cm2011

ska_lover wrote: »

I happen to agree with this. If they KNOW you have called the police (and quite possibly social services get involved) then they are going to turn on you - and then you have your very own problem.Right with your next door neighbours in your new house. Not what a person wants, at all

If the bloke wanted to call the police he should have done it himself.I would not have got involved on this occasion where he asked you to as he was obviously only doing it to hurt the mother, and if was seriously worried, he would have rung police himself. Or if she was threatening to leeave a child alone, he could have babysat surely???

I would however, call the police in secret if I heard the sounds of violence etc.

Everyone is jumping in with judgements again, oh i would have done this, and shame on you etc, what a load of bullcrap. most people would walk past someone getting a beating in the street, and DEFINATELY most people would not want to get involved with something as serious as this on their own doorstep. The only people who would in fact get involved are likely people who have had a similar thing happen to them as per the lady above who got attacked in a pub, so knows how it feels. However, I am sure your own family would not agree, what if you had been killed by the punch to your face by a complete stranger? Would you advocate a member of your family risking their life to help a complete stranger - cos I honestly would not.

Thanks for this message, it is exactly my feelings. I did call the police as soon as I got up the day after, and if I had heard anything after the bloke came round on the Sunday I would have gone round. But he is quite threatening, and to be honest I felt afraid of getting in the middle of whatever was going on. If that makes me a coward, then so be it. If the bloke was a proper father then he would look after the child himself, or call the police himself.

The main thing is that the police have been involved now and are monitoring the situation, so no harm has come to anyone.

Leif

muckybutt wrote: »

I sincearly hope you are not one of those people who turns a blind eye when some one asks for assistance but it looks like you are, so I shall echo Errata's comment, shame on you.

I don't think your comment is fair, and neither was Errata's. A lot of people argue, and the police do not want to know. If there was clear evidence of harm to the child, or a physical assault, then I think it would be fair to contact the authorities. Otherwise you have the issue of becoming a target yourself. And you do not know what is really going on. You have no idea if the man was telling the truth or not.

Leif

Gothicfairy wrote: »

This is a great example of what is wrong with this country ( in my view and I don't expect people to agree with me)
The police are paid to do a job and to be honest I could not care less how many times they go out and everything is fine and no one wants to involve them etc..That is their job, for every time they attend a domestic and there is no damage and nothing more then heated words and a over worried neighbour there are times when there is something going on and people / children are getting hurt.
How would they know if they never go out ? How would anyone protect the children / beaten and battered wives and husbands if people don't step out of their own little world and help others and get involved.

I'll tell you a story now and maybe you might understand why this is so wrong and people should always try to help others..

Many years ago I was married to a man who though I was a punch bag to be used and abused when he was drunk.
One evening he started laying into me at work ( I worked in a pub) he punched me straight in the face and dragged me out by my hair, no one did anything and that night I ended up in ICU as he tried to kill me.
I still carry the scars and the damage will never be repaired..No one stepped out of their little comfortable world to raise a hand or even call the police and I could have died..How brave and safe they must have felt.

A couple of years ago I saw a man in my local town beating his girlfriend / wife..I stepped in front of her and he punched me ( lost a tooth) but I would do it again in a heart beat as I would rather die doing what I believe is right then live a coward and scared.


OK so that might seem like an OTT rant but please remember that there is a child in this and that someone asked for the police to be called..

Sorry OP but you should have called the police when asked..end of

I commend you stepping in, but things are not always as they seem. The man asked for the police, possibly out of malice. How do you know if he was truthful? And why did HE not call them himself?

I suffered harassment by local children for over a year. For example I had offensive notices glued to my front door, and to my car, and maggots put under the door, resulting in a house full of flies. I also had abuse shouted at me. The police could not act as I did not know who they were. So I took a camera to photograph them. I was subjected to verbal threats of physical violence such as "if you don't give me that camera I will [censored] punch you" and "I am going to [censored] punch you" while a child ran at me, fist raised, and shoved me. I asked a passing teacher if she knew the children. She told them to phone the police, and encouraged the older brother of one of them to assault me, destroying a watch that was a gift from my late mother, and leaving me in pain for several days. Needless to say the police when they arrived took no action against me, except to express concern for my welfare. Fortunately the photos allowed them to locate the children, and visit their parents. I have contempt for that cow of a teacher who encouraged children to assault me, and I was the victim of harassment. It is quite legal to photograph children in public as I was doing, as confirmed by the police. And they agreed I did not have much alternative. That cow simply said "But they are only children".

If there is a moral to this story, it is that you should not form an opinion on what you see and hear at the time. It is highly probable that the most vocal person is trying to create an impression that is false.

As I said earlier, if you see an assault or a crime, then do act but do so safely.

sunflower_2

Leif wrote: »

I don't think your comment is fair, and neither was Errata's. A lot of people argue, and the police do not want to know. If there was clear evidence of harm to the child, or a physical assault, then I think it would be fair to contact the authorities. Otherwise you have the issue of becoming a target yourself. And you do not know what is really going on. You have no idea if the man was telling the truth or not.

no idea if the man was telling the truth or not - but personally i wouldnt take the risk when a bambino is involved.

dont get me wrong i totally understand CM not wanting to get involved - but i couldnt rest thinking a child may be at risk of harm.

the way these people argue infront of their baby is child abuse in itself.

Leif

sunflower wrote: »

no idea if the man was telling the truth or not - but personally i wouldnt take the risk when a bambino is involved.

dont get me wrong i totally understand CM not wanting to get involved - but i couldnt rest thinking a child may be at risk of harm.

the way these people argue infront of their baby is child abuse in itself.

I don't buy his story. If he was concerned, then he could ring social services or the police as it would be a crime to leave the child on its own. So there is 100% something else going on here.

He asked someone else to ring the police. Why?

If was was concerned for the child, he would have reported her. So he is not concerned for the child. What is the motive? The only one I can think of is that he wants to get his partner into trouble. A third party reporting her would be more convincing than him reporting her, at least in his eyes. In reality I hope any decent copper would ask you why you rang the police, and work out that you had not witnessed the woman leaving the child on its own, and that you acted at his instigation. He would then question the man and the woman, and figure it out for himself.

Of course another option is for you to contact social services, and have a chat with them, explaining what has happened. They might suggest the story I describe above. Or maybe they are wiser than me, and come up with better alternatives. Maybe they would show concern. But I would do it without the man knowing. That way you are not directly involved, and will not become a pawn in their war.