Best Man Speech - thoughts?

rjtyrell

Hi all,

Thoughts on my speech if you don't mind - more difficult than I thought!! The Bride is my older Sister and I have only known the groom around 6 years as some background.

[FONT=&quot]Ladies and gentlemen, I have decided to keep this speech as short as I can, so at least if you don't find it funny you can compliment me on its length.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I would like to begin by saying on behalf of the bridesmaids, ushers, speakers and myself, a huge thank you to xxxx and xxxx for asking us to be involved in their unique and special day. I know they have both put a tremendous amount of effort in to the planning of this wedding, and I can only hope that everything will exceed their expectations.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I hope you are having a wonderful time, and for those of you who don’t know me, I am xxxx – the bride’s younger brother and I also have the pleasure of being xxxx best man which is a great honor. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]xxxx....... I do hope you made the most of your speech, now you’ve married my sister that will be the last time you get to speak for 3 minutes without being interrupted! Trust me I know my sister very well….!![/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I would like to thank the bridesmaids; xxxx, xxxx and xxxx for doing a great job today and looking after xxxx. I’m sure you will agree they all look fantastic. And how nice it is to see xxxx out of her normal sports attire!![/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I would also like to thank xxxx, xxxx and xxxx for carrying out the Ushers duties and organising everyone at the church this afternoon.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A well done also to xxxx and xxxx for delivering their readings – I am now realizing what pressure you must have felt!![/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I am sure you will agree that after 28 years it is time that I finally paid my sister a compliment, xxxx you look stunning and I hope today is everything you wished for.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Nobody ever seems[/FONT][FONT=&quot] to pay the Groom a compliment but I think you will all agree that xxxx is looking pretty good. For those of you who don’t know, xxxx is actually one of the hairiest men in Britain and so with that in mind I’d like to thank the staff at London Zoo’s Ape and Monkey House on xxxx behalf for their help in getting him ready for today.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Luckily for xxxx, when I sat down to think about this speech I discovered nothing funny had ever really happened to him. As with many best man speeches there are also stories that I’m not allowed to reveal.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]So without much to go on, I decided to look up xxxx date of birth on the Internet, to see what momentous events took place on this day. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]It seems that the 22nd August 1980 passed without any significant happenings.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Although further research into this revealed the nurses on the ward where xxxx was born still refer to that day as "Ugly Friday"![/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Now I don’t know why, but xxxx Mum says what a lovely blonde haired and blue-eyed baby boy he was..... I can’t quite see it myself but, I’ll let you be the judge of that.........(picture of xxxx as baby)[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I thought as I had shared a picture of xxxx early years it was only fair to take this opportunity to share some pictures of xxxx as she grew up. As you can see she has always been prepared to lend a hand.....(Show picture of xxxx)[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Obviously I needed a few little tales about xxxx childhood so I started with speaking with xxxx, xxxx sister……..[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Just in case you didn't know, xxxx has two older brothers, xxxx and xxxx - both of whom are here today. During their childhood, xxxx somehow got his hands on a pellet gun, and while xxxx and xxxx were shooting off some rounds at each other xxxx decided to play hide and seek – by himself…………, I think he had a lonely childhood!!!![/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]xxxx decided to hide himself away in a massive cardboard box, the sort of box that is great for target practice – well that's what xxxx and xxxx thought. Let’s just say xxxx wasn't hiding for very long as the pellets penetrated through the box straight into him![/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]As a young child xxxx was also very much into his horse riding and he liked nothing better than going out for a trot on his horse Biffo. (show the picture of xxxx and horse)[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Over the years of getting to know xxxx I have had the chance to take part in many sporting activities with him, so I’ve become very accustomed to the man’s temperament. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I think the term is obstinate!, a dictionary definition reads: Stubbornly refusing to change one's opinion or action, despite attempts to persuade one to do so.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A perfect example of this, would be during his early football career, xxxx was on the receiving end of a 100 day ban for throwing a football boot at the back of his coach’s head!!! [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]xxxx was also a keen cricketer and was once fortunate enough to open the batting with the West Indian batsman Jimmy Adams. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]He also used to practice his batting at home, and on one of these occasion’s even smashed his dog’s front teeth out with a cricket bat!!!..........– I am reliably informed this was accidental!! (Show picture of xxxx with bat)[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]He did have the chance to attend Wycombe Wanderers School of excellence for training, after being selected by Martin O’Neil. However, xxxx decided to decline this opportunity because he couldn't find his lucky shorts![/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]After years of living with xxxx, xxxx has finally got to grips with mastering the art of DIY. It was only over the Easter holidays that xxxx and xxxx decided to decorate the bedroom, this was after months of choosing which wallpaper to use. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I take my hat of to xxxx for a job well done. A few days after finishing xxxx decided to venture into the loft and yes you guessed........he put his foot through the ceiling, right in the middle of the newly decorated bedroom. I think if they had been married at this point, xxxx would have been calling for the divorce lawyers!!.......(show picture of hole)[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Whilst xxxx and I were having a game of golf last weekend, I had a chance to ask xxxx what he wanted from his marriage, and he replied…….[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]'Well, I want to be a model husband, I want to be a model citizen.' And he added, with a large grin, that he also wanted to be a model lover."
Being the naive chap that I am, I looked up the meaning of ‘model’ in the dictionary, and found it to be ‘a small, miniature replica of the real thing………’ I think this is the reason why xxxx decided against wearing a kilt today![/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]So now I come to my final wedding day duty, which really is a pleasure: on behalf of the bridesmaids, ushers and myself I sincerely wish xxxx and xxxx, everlasting love and happiness together.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. I hope you have a fantastic time today.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Once again a massive thank you and well done for the months of hard work and planning by xxxx and xxxx. They have done an incredible job to make this a truly wonderful day. So it is with immense pleasure that I ask you to stand and raise your glasses as I propose a toast - to the bride and groom.[/FONT]

RainbowDrops

1st read & it's quite good - nice balance of light hearted & heartfelt.

My main gripe is the length - it still looks long (despite you saying you'll keep it short).
The bits where you say you'll show pics are quite long. Also, how are you going to show the pics? Unless you have a projector I'd avoid this.
Have you timed yoursef delivering it yet?
Personally it's best to aim for 4-5 mins.

johannalf88

Seems good. Only thing I would worry about is the joke about the sports wear. It could be taken the wrong way, and could seem quite catty. But that is just my opinion, if you know them well it may not be a problem.

rjtyrell

Thanks for the quick reply, I am timed it at about 5 and a half mins. Which I thought was fairly short for a bestman speech? I also have a projector for the pictures I will showing.

Thanks

rjtyrell

The line abouts sportswear is about my younger sister so I think that will go down ok.

johannalf88

Oh I imagine that will be fine then! No worries!

Ginger_Poodle

Hello. Think the first and last sections are really great...light hearted and affectionate (I didn't see a problem with the sporty spice bridesmaid comment). Only thing I would say is the middle bit goes on a bit long. I know you timed it at 5.5 minutes but in reality, it would last a lot longer than that on the day. Always better to keep it short and have the audience wishing for more....good luck!

Ps just reread, the "not much to go on" comment could be construed as you not knowing the groom very well. Just a thought...

Idiophreak

Not 100% sure on this...but I think the groom normally compliments the bridesmaids and thanks the ushers etc - so it may come across as being a little repetitious you doing it at the beginning of yours...

rjtyrell

Thanks for all the comments, all appreciated. I have removed the hairy joke and shortened a cricket line. I will look in to the compliments etc I thought I should thank everyone but will check it out. Thanks again.

trying_2_b_good

I liked the hairy joke! Thought that was more personal than the model joke (which I've heard in best man speeched before).

I think it's lovely that you know them both and so can tell stories about them both. I also think pictures are great!

Well done - I don't think you need to worry about it too much. Although I would say (as already suggested) that you should find out who's thanking the people. If it's the groom, I'd give him the line about the sportswear as I'm sure you're lil sis will like the mention. Also check that the same stories aren't being used in other speeches, if possible - so you prob can't ask groom about them all, but check with the father of the bride speaker (assume your dad?)

HTH

PootleFlump_3

I think its fab!! (I burst out laughing when I read the bit about London Zoo! Definately keep the hairy bit in IMO)

Well done!!