Tracing birth parents WITHOUT original name or birth certificate?

lil_me

Wow what an update, I am pleased to hear you have got at least this far and he now knows his 'real name' that must be rather strange. Wishing you the best of luck with your search.

hardpressed

What good news.

Elle00

So pleased you've made progress!

If you ever need any tips or support (or Mr Bear) you should try the "Tips Board" on https://www.genesreunited.co.uk and look for the "Hints and Hugs for other Adoptees" thread. I'm researching my tree through the site and some of the tipsters are real experts on a variety of genealogy matters including adoption.

Best wishes.

Js_Other_Half

Even if he gets no further, he knows his original name and his biological mothers name - that has to be progress.

Mrs_Bear

Thanks Elle83, I shall look into that. That's a great help to us.


And you're right, J's Other Half, the fact that he knows his mother gave him a name and didn't just hand him over means a great deal to him.

When he was first told his birth name he was shocked and didn't like it (it's a perfectly normal and nice name, actually) but after about an hour or so he decided he liked it after all. His mood (which was never bad or depressed) has brightened immensely and I'm sure this is down to him realising his birth mother cared enough to name him.

We're looking forward to finding out more!

Ms_Chocaholic

If you know the area in which his mother lived/lives, it may be worth posting it here and someone may be able to help you with geographical information.

Mrs_Bear

At the moment, the only information we have is that he was born in Lambeth and his mother's name.

His adoptive mother told his step sister that the birth mother was American, and, I suppose, until we get the full birth certificate, we don't know where she was living or her date and place of birth.

We're hoping the court records from Guildford will have a good deal more information.

JustKeepSwimming_2

Hi

What wonderful news! The waiting will be hard as it seems to take forever to get information sent to you.

I traced my bitrh mother through Norcap & the births, marriages & deaths records held at my local library. I was lucky in that my social worker had a file from the court where the adoption took place, which listed both my parents' names & addresses along with lots of other information. It stated that my father had gone abroard, so I concentrated looking for my mother. She "disappeared" from official registers not long after I was born & all searches turned up blank. :mad: I resigned myself to never finding her, assuming she had left the country, & got on with life.

I knew my maternal grandfater had died, so got a copy of his will, which told me she had changed her name! With her new name it was easy to find her, &, after exchanging letters via Norcap for sometime, we finally met today! :T

Not sure how I feel about it all yet, but I'm so glad I've finally met her. Hopefully we'll keep intouch, but who knows...

Norcap were wonderful - it cost me less than £30 to join, & I had a session with one of their researchers who taught me how to approach my search methodically (not one of my strong points :rotfl: ). I cant recommend them enough. They provided an intermediary who made the initial contact, & was always there to talk to if I needed to, & spent time talking to my birth mother before we started writing. They also have a great idea of how you "feel" as they have all been through it themselves!

I guess my only advice is stick with it - & best of luck!

Loretta

JustKeepSwimming wrote: »

Hi

What wonderful news! The waiting will be hard as it seems to take forever to get information sent to you.

I traced my bitrh mother through Norcap & the births, marriages & deaths records held at my local library. I was lucky in that my social worker had a file from the court where the adoption took place, which listed both my parents' names & addresses along with lots of other information. It stated that my father had gone abroard, so I concentrated looking for my mother. She "disappeared" from official registers not long after I was born & all searches turned up blank. :mad: I resigned myself to never finding her, assuming she had left the country, & got on with life.

I knew my maternal grandfater had died, so got a copy of his will, which told me she had changed her name! With her new name it was easy to find her, &, after exchanging letters via Norcap for sometime, we finally met today! :T

Not sure how I feel about it all yet, but I'm so glad I've finally met her. Hopefully we'll keep intouch, but who knows...

Norcap were wonderful - it cost me less than £30 to join, & I had a session with one of their researchers who taught me how to approach my search methodically (not one of my strong points :rotfl: ). I cant recommend them enough. They provided an intermediary who made the initial contact, & was always there to talk to if I needed to, & spent time talking to my birth mother before we started writing. They also have a great idea of how you "feel" as they have all been through it themselves!

I guess my only advice is stick with it - & best of luck!

I have read this rather late and Mrs Bear is well on her way now. I was adopted and found my birth family about 10 years ago, I knew my family were irish and I thought it would be difficult as I only had a few lines of very sketchy details but it took me about 20 minutes to find a cousin and speak to her and a few days later I went to ireland and it has been great.

Nottslass is correct in everythig she says, Norcap are brilliant, they are the experts and will guide you all the way, when I did it they didn't charge but I see they now charge a small nominal amount but well worth it. Do not pay anyone like a private detective, you can do it yourself with some help from Norcap and of course us lot on here. Each certificate has more information and you just follow your nose, visit any addresses speak to neighbours you never know, people love to talk. There is no such thing as a secret and someone always knows something. Ask Mr Bear to think vey carefully about anything he heard as a child, speak to relatives they always know things.

No one has mentioned until about 1970 neither the adopted child or the birth parent were given any information about the other and you could not have you original birth certificate. Since about 1970, not sure of the eact date, adopted children can have theri original birth certificates and from that they may have enough information to find their birth parents. Even now birth parents have no access to any information about their birth children, the iniciative has to come from the adopted children themselves. In Ireland neither the children or the birth parents have access to any information even now. I don't know if any other countrties are the same.

If there is any connection with the US miltary in Mr Bear's birth family he will find it difficult or impossible to obtain any information from them, I have heard that they are not helpful but he is probably too young for this to be an issue.

Reading your story has reminded me of the excitement of when I was doing it, you must keep us posted and I am sure we will all help if we can

Sammz

Good to hear an update. My advice is to take it slow. I had my birthmother's name for a while before taking it any further.

In the end I went on to FriendsReunited and emailed someone who would have been in her class at school. He gave me the name of her sister's friend. I emailed the sister's friend and she happened to still be contact with the family. Five days after the email I got shock when I got an email from my birthmum!

I'm always happy to talk about any stage of it. I've been reunited about 5/6 years with both families and it's all gone great