Should I take a present back

tee_pee_2

I have bought a xmas present for a friend of mine, as last year we decided to start doing this, but I have had no contact from her, apart from a text saying thanks for the christmas card and she was dead busy.

The present was only £15 but as I am currently in debt it could have gone to a better cause ie creidt card bill. She however earns a lot of money and never fails to tell me.

Last year she was here all the time due to relationship breakdown and I was v good with her considering I had my own problems to deal with, ( huge problems) but she has a new beau now and I have been dropped quicker than you would belive. She is my childs godparent but not even sent a card to her.

Do I take the present back and reduce my cc debt a bit further or give it to her regardless or whether she has bought me anything? I know we do not buy to receive but not sure if I should let the relationship fissle sp? out as I wonder if that is what she wants now

Guinea_2

Yes, take it back and buy her a mug from Matalan. They cost about a £1. Stick a hot chocolate packet in there and wrap with cellophane and ribbon. Very effective and looks great. Also, even if you don't give it to her then you can save it for someone else.

Mrs_B_12

I'd not bother giving her anything, it sounds like she takes with no giving and you're better off looking after yourself.

No guarantee of course that you will get a refund on the present though as it's not faulty. Depends on the shop, some are quite happy to do refunds but others not so good.

ALWAYS_POOR

I think Guinea's idea is good. Friends are supposed to be there for you at all times not just when they are the 'flavour of the moment'. Sure, she'll probably fall out with this latest guy eventually and that is when you show that you are a true friend. Buy a cheaper gift and give it graciously. Unless, of course, you have gone off her completely, in that case I wouldn't bother, but maybe buy the mug etc just in case.

Voyager2002

tee_pee wrote:

Last year she was here all the time due to relationship breakdown and I was v good with her considering I had my own problems to deal with, ( huge problems) but she has a new beau now and I have been dropped quicker than you would belive. She is my childs godparent but not even sent a card to her.

It is a sad fact of life that people who pass through difficult times and then move on tend to drop the people who are there for them when they have problems. Sounds (and is) unfair, but I think it happens for the same kind of reason that very few people maintain social or long-term friendships with their counsellors, psychologists or whatever.

So I think that you (OP) should accept that this friendship has come to an end and give yourself a little pat on the back for helping this person when she needed it. It is entirely possible that you will do something similar to someone else during another part of your life, and will be helped just as you gave help.

As for the present, I think you should save the money and give her a nice card or something much cheaper.

tee_pee_2

Thanks for all the replies I really like the idea of trhe mug from Matalan- I ahve seen them in Boots and they are about £8 so it would be very effective and save me money.

It is sad that this is how it has worked out, and I have learned something from it. 1) I will always be there for someone who is need of help because that is in my nature. but......... I will not be dominated too mcyh next time as I did allow other person to take over the house ( much to my OH annoyance)

Thanks again
Merry christmas to you all.
Tee Pee
xxx

lady_noluck

tee pee, you have my sypathies. I had a friend like yours (up until tonight) who only wanted to know me when she needed something. As soon as a guy turns up she forgets who I am! I've gone months without hearing from her only to have her re appear when the guy dumps her, then she's all pally pally until she finds a new one. Then she drops me again. Friends like these are leeches and no good for us. We're better off without them. Use the money for your debts. If she was a real friend and knew you were in debt she wouldn't expect/accept anything anyway.

dmg24

tee pee and lady_noluck,

Just wanted to say that I am going through the same thing at the mo. It really saddens me as I have been friends with this person since primary school, but perhaps it has taken me to get to this age to see the pattern of our friendship.

I hope you have a lovely Christmas, surrounded by those who love you unconditionally x

tee_pee_2

Isn't it strange how this sort of friendship can go on for a while without it dawning on you that it is one sided, and then all of a sudden it is like a light bulb coming on and I find it hard to believe why I hadn't noticed it much sooner.

victory

take it back, if it helps you take it back as she is concerned only for herself and her new beau, put yourself first, take it back xxx

xxxdarlingxxx

Take it back, bank the cash. Get a cheap frame and give her a lovely wee photo of her God child.