Work moral dilema! (long, sorry)

SkintMonkey

I've worked for the same organisation for just over a year and really like it here. I've become good friends with a girl in my team who although was here before I started is only on a temporary contract (reasoning behind this is a long story). Anyway, she has been given duties for a particular job and this post will be advertised in Feb time once our boss has sorted out the job descritption etc. My colleague and friend knows it will be advertised and they will be interviewing external people as well as her. She really wants to stay here with us and I would like her to stay too.

She has also been through a heck of a lot of emotional stuff this year and a permanent job would be really good for her.

However, I'm quite interested in this new post. I've not seen the job description yet so don't know just how good it will be and the money isn't confirmed yet, but if it appeals and the money is the same or better than I'm on I'm quite tempted to go for it.

But, I really feel that I will be being awful to my friend. We are more than just work colleagues and although I think I might want it, I know it would seriously put her nose out of joint and she may no longer have a post with us.

Part of the attraction is that it will be a stand alone post and have a lot of responsibility, where I work with a senior member of staff but am really keen to progress and look to the future for promotions etc.

I think I'd be a good candidate, but don't know what to do about it. I'm going to have a discreet word with my boss tomorrow and find out what the situation would be if my friend didn't get it (of course it could go to someone externally) - but should I let on that I'm considering it - or maybe just say I want to go for interview for experience and go from there? It may be a non starter in that I'm not interested, but what if I see the JD and want it?

This could be a kind of promotion for me...

Any advice welcomed....:beer:

medman

She's a friend, you can't lie to her (just going for the experience) if you apply for the job I suspect the friendship will be over, what ever the outcome.

It's up to you but I think it's a straight choice...(apply for)the job...or....the friendship.

Which is more valuable? I know what I would do, friends are not that easy to come by, take care of them. Plus I have a deep seated view that if you do the right thing you will be better off for it in the long run.

It's your choice.

Good luck
MM

loneranger

Talk to her about it and explain exactly how you feel.If you don't apply it will sour your feelings about her anyway especially if she proceeds in her career and you don't.If she is a real friend she will understand your feelings,if she is not then you would have made a sacrifice for nothing.

Red_Fraggle_3

I was in that position as your friend except in the end I could not even apply for it only proper employees vould not contractors - I felt let down it was clear people around me had their own adgenas - and that no one could tell the truth ie that they had applied - deep down if I had the chance to interview I may have felt better - maybe it was just life's way of saying Red your just not that good :-( I will never know

just be honest - see the JD then decide

SkintMonkey

I've never been in this kind of situation before and it is a hard one. I think I will just wait and see, no need for me to wind myself up about it now. Afterall, I might not want to go for it in the end.

I'll be straight with my boss and hope she will be straight with me - I mentioned to her today that I was interested, but will speak to her more about it tomorrow.

I want to know whether their plan is to give it to her, what would happen to her if she didn't get it...and what she thinks. I get on well with my boss so think we can have a pretty straight conversation.

Any further advice/shared experience welcome....

MinnieSpender

Good advice here already, and your own advice is worth taking too.

Talk to your boss and see how the land lies. If you then decide to try for the job, tell your friend. If they are opening the post up to applications, it seems fair. If they value your friend, they won't want to see her go, even if she doesn't get the job in question.

I see this sort of thing happening all the time where I'm working and the general feeling seems to be that it's a fair process.

From your own point of view, you want to progress your own career too. There is no shame in this, and I'm sure your friend will see this, as that's what she wants too. Whether you are successful or not, the management will see that you are keen to improve and progress - and that can be no bad thing in the long term even if you don't get this job.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

luckylukey

I have been in the exact same solution and I told my friend that I would be applying for the same job, which I got and she was happy for me. If you think that you REALLY want the job , explain it to her and may the best qualified person win.
p.s. we are still friends!

piggeh

I would speak with your boss and see what their views are. Maybe they are just putting it out there but are planning to offer it to her anyway - they just need to follow 'proper procedures' first. If so then I wouldnt bother applying.

If there is actually a fair chance it could go to someone externally, then I would go for the job. There would be a fair chance it may then end up with somebody else entirely, and then you are doing nobody a favour as you will only end up regretting not going for it.

Life's too short to let chances pass you by imo.

richardvc

medman wrote:

She's a friend, you can't lie to her (just going for the experience) if you apply for the job I suspect the friendship will be over, what ever the outcome.

It's up to you but I think it's a straight choice...(apply for)the job...or....the friendship.

Which is more valuable? I know what I would do, friends are not that easy to come by, take care of them. Plus I have a deep seated view that if you do the right thing you will be better off for it in the long run.

It's your choice.

Good luck
MM

Whilst I completely agree with the above post, I am playing devil's advocate here and would suggest that your friend doesn't pay your mortgage or manage your career so why should emotional reasons come into a 'business' decision.

I expect that this will confuse you even more !! If I am honest I have no idea what I would do but might come down on the friendship side !!

Kevicho

I think that you would be doing yourself and your family a disservice if you didnt at least apply for the role.

Id be straight and up front with your work colleague, tell her that you will apply for the role, and the reasons why, but you hope that she gets it if you dont, just at the end of the day, as harsh as it sounds people have to look after themselves.

Your friend may not get the job anyways, there may be a reason shes not been taken on permanently, who knows?

Id say whoevers best for the role will get the job, if that means your friend is upset then unfortunately, to coin my fave phrase of the mo, thats her problem not yours

THE_LONE_RANGER_4

Well Not That Tough Realy If You Want The Position Go For It, If She Has More To Offer She Will Get It, If You Get It Tough Luck On Her Realy What Do You Owe Her ? Think Of Number One If Her Lifes Been A Bummer Its Not Your Fault Is It ?.
Ask Her Out To Celibrate If You Get It And Go Out On Hers If She Gets It