Don’t know what to do re: friends furniture…advice needed.

Sassers

I don’t post on here on this part of the board very often but I really need some one to offer some advice. ….It’s not a real dilemma but it is to me as it’s causing me all sorts of stress and worry.
My best friend lost her dad about 10 years ago, and one of the things he left her was a large ornate cupboard.
Now, two years ago when I moved into my own house, she lent this furniture to me on the understanding she’d have it back one day. The design didn’t fit in with her designer-look minimal flat so I got to look after it. I was happy to have this in my house although it is large and heavy………………….
However, times move on and the cupboard has been sitting in my living room since arrival and although I’ve polished it and looked after it, this cupboard has been in the way of my doing further DIY work and – although it’s lovely – I can’t just get on with things. I have to re-skim the concrete floor, knock holes in the wall for new wiring and plaster the walls in 2007.
The space it’s also taking up is space the builders could use when they also re-do my bathroom as well.
My friend moved from her designer pad when the rent went up, moved elsewhere to a single room in a shared house and is again looking for a new place to rent.
So here's where I'm at - what do I do now? Wait until she’s got somewhere to ask her to have the cupboard back? I’ve already asked a while ago but got sort of brushed off, in the nicest possible way…… Moving the cupboard isn’t a problem with willing hands and an estate car – thanks to my OH – but I really don’t want to have this furniture around any more.
Other friends have said I’ve looked after it for enough time and if she really is so fond of this item of furniture she’d happily have it back…..And I really can’t afford to put this monster in storage either as it would cost me a fortune!

Honestly, if any MSE'rs out there could help me I’d be really grateful. Ok it’s not a real dilemma but it’s causing me real worry in case she takes this the wrong way. The last thing I want to do is upset us being mates!I wish I'd said no in the first place - believe me I will in the future!

Thanks very much for reading such a long thread :T - all help is gratefully received
Sassers x

Norma_Desmond

Why not tell a bit of a white lie to the effect that you've GOT to have some urgent work done on the house ie damp problem/replacement flooring and that builders are coming on such-and-such a date?
You could also tell her where your local storage units are and that they've got one empty?!
Could also say that YOU'RE going minimalist; after all that was her excuse!
Good luck.

Sassers

Thanks for that Norma - I really appreciate it......
What you've said about the builders coming is a good one - she knows I still have work to be done...
Don't think she'd be happy about the storage option and the bill though !
And you're not to far off me going minimalist either - after flogging lots of stuff on Ebay, I like having the space and also this cupboard takes a lot of looking after which is time I could be spending doing other things!

PS lovely part of the world you're in - I'm not too far away, near Pontypridd....)

Llyllyll

I'd echo what ND has suggested. Say that what with all the work being done there's a possibility that it might get damaged and you'd rather her have it back for safe keeping. Hopefully she won't try and return it to you again later… .

I'm just outside Ponty as well - small world isn't it?

Penny_Watcher

Sassers wrote:

Don't think she'd be happy about the storage option and the bill though !

...but she's quite happy for you to have it cluttering up your house:o ?

If I was you then I'd say enough is enough. If she doesn't want to pay for storage then really she doesn't want it at all. Naughty lady is using you as a free starage depot.

Norma_Desmond

You're welcome Sassers! I'd really emphasise that you're scared the cupboard will get damaged when you have the workmen in and that much as you like it it's got to go!
Oh and greetings and Merry Christmas to you in Ponty!

Slinky

You've been a good friend, but this furniture is now causing you inconvenience instead of it causing her inconvenience. I'd go along with the builders bit and also stress that you are worried about it getting damaged.

This reminds me a little of people who move out of their parents' homes, leaving all sorts of childhood junk behind because they can't bear to part with it, but don't want it cluttering up their own home.

It's going to cost her money to store it, but that's not your problem

Sassers

Thanks Llyllyll:wave:.....it's how to approach the subject that's been driving me up the wall! Seems like I've got a new year's resolution then for 2007. Get rid of cupboard in the easiest way possible!

And yes - lol - it's a very nice small world!
Thanks once again
Sassers x

Sassers

Thanks Slinky and Penny Watcher too :wave: you're so right and yes, it's causing me a right load of inconvienience.
And poor OH too when we have to move the flipping thing. Typical valleys house and garden about 100 steps down to the front road! We'll be like a pair of those Typhoo chimps from the adverts being removal men......!!:eek:
Still we could always do the Laurel and Hardy piano scene and just let the b***ding thing go.....!
Then again my friend might say she doesn't want the cupboard any more.
Especially as my OH is about to install a log burner for Xmas and we need extra kindling.....:eek:
Hmmm .....(banishes uncharitable thoughts re: cupboard)

emilyt

My sister looked after a piece of furniture for my DH. It was his grans and he didn't want to get rid of it.
Anyway after 5 years she wanted it gone. She looked after it and loved it but decided that she could no longer house it.
My DH and i decided that the best thing to do would be to take it to an antique sale. The money we made we bought something a lot smaller that we could house and that would still remind my DH of his gran. Also bought my sister a little something for putting up with it for so long.
You really have been a brilliant friend and very understanding.
Tell her the truth i think that us the best policy. A real friend would understand.
Good luck.