Trying to save a relationship

Oldernotwiser

Give her the elbow, she sounds like a nightmare!

lufcgirl

I swear she doesn't! I wish I could use this as an explanation but I know it's simply not true!

diable

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Give her the elbow, she sounds like a nightmare!

You mean Spanish Archer, El Bow ;o)))

diable

lufcgirl wrote: »

I swear she doesn't! I wish I could use this as an explanation but I know it's simply not true!

Just tell her to stop being so childish and to grow up, simples

RedBern

There's a famous Maya Angelou quote - “If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude” which I think applies to both you and your friend.


You say she blames you for the way she feels, blames you for bringing her mood down, for being stressed. These are not your fault - only she can make herself stressed, that's not your problem - it's hers. Don't keep trying to second guess her and change how you are - she either takes you warts and all or not. That's what relationships are.

3v3

lufcgirl wrote: »

Counselling would never work. She thinks she's more intelligent than any counsellor or psychologist and so would never visit one. This is most likely true. I think it's her attitude that needs to change rather than anything else.

I've just asked her to list in an e-mail the things I'm doing wrong and she's refused, saying she's spoke enough about it and we'll talk about it next week in person (her birthday). She blames me for being stressed and rubbish days because of our relationship. I'm now trying to figure out if she wants out really. That makes more sense than anything.

That assumes that she has it, or you have it together; how about *you* have it?

Older_but_not_wiser_2

lufcgirl wrote: »

Counselling would never work. She thinks she's more intelligent than any counsellor or psychologist and so would never visit one. This is most likely true. I think it's her attitude that needs to change rather than anything else.

I've just asked her to list in an e-mail the things I'm doing wrong and she's refused, saying she's spoke enough about it and we'll talk about it next week in person (her birthday). She blames me for being stressed and rubbish days because of our relationship. I'm now trying to figure out if she wants out really. That makes more sense than anything.

Therein lies the problem. Counsellors do not need to be geniuses - they are there to help you find your own solutions to problems, not suggest solutions for you. Her attitude stinks, making her sound like a spoiled little brat.

scheming_gypsy

You fall out and split up for a couple of days but you're happy and don't want to split up permanently... you've got a typical relationship, so enjoy it !

lufcgirl

I think! She just needs me to tell her to her face. When were together because it's so normal and happy it's very hard to bring things up that could cause an argument in person when we have so little time together. We have talked a little today and I need to stop second guessing how she feels. We're going to talk about it in person and I've decided thats the best idea of what to do. For now, were just not going to think about it and try and be as normal as possible. As we'll drive ourselves crazy if we keep like this every day!

diable

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

You fall out and split up for a couple of days but you're happy and don't want to split up permanently... you've got a typical relationship, so enjoy it !

Thats abnormal.