Estate agency jargon

Househunter87_2

I've been thinking a lot over the past few days about my house hunt, and the type of jargon the estate agents have fed me in order to get me into the properties they are advertising.

Was hoping I could hear your ideas on the best estate agency jargon out there, or your favourite pearls of wisdom from an agent.

My top three so far:

- Deceptively spacious
Basically a tiny room that I couldn't swing a cat in

- Refurbishment opportunity
A complete dive that needs to be completely gutted out

- Up and coming area
A council estate infested by lads in hoodies

Any more for any more?

Caveat_Mortgagor

Removed from sale now, but you can still see the description. I wonder if the vendors died of embarrassment. Before you click the link, it might be worth noting that Foleshill is (ahem) a bit downtrodden!

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-28481686.html

FTBFun

"light and airy" - there is no roof

"needs updating" - what is wrong with asbestos, really?

evansmummy

Caveat_Mortgagor wrote: »

Removed from sale now, but you can still see the description. I wonder if the vendors died of embarrassment. Before you click the link, it might be worth noting that Foleshill is (ahem) a bit downtrodden!

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-28481686.html

Ha I love that 'The Beverley Hills of Folesill'.
Well if that's the case I'll have it!

Househunter87_2

I'll apologise quickly for my council estate slur, was mean of me. I used to live on one and was playing up to the stereotype a bit. Allow me to change that from 'council estate' to 'ghetto'.

I love love love 'The Beverley Hills of Folesill'

Emmylou_2

Unless things have changed in the *omigod* seven years since I left Coventry, St Paul's Road is almost nearly Holbrooks.

Which is not necessarily better, but definitely different.

I must admit to having lived in both areas and definitely preferred Foleshill. Still go back to Foleshill Road for £1.50 eyebrow threading and cheap curry!

Skint_Catt

We had a good one on Friday when we had an offer accepted;

"Mrs Vendor thought you were a lovely couple & wouldn't have wanted to sell to anyone else"

Not only had Mrs Vendor not met my Mom & I when we viewed (Mr Vendor showed us round) but no-one inc the EA has even met my husband as he's been in Scotland! Obviously a 'stock' response!