Day in the Life of Bob - Postman rings the Doorbell

bobwilson

I just had a rather interesting experience with the royal mail postman again and thought I'd share It went something like this

[Doorbell rings, I answer the door]

I open the door to find a postman, and another tall postman standing behind him. Both appeared to be from Royal Mail.

Postman: RIGHT. I'VE GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU.

Me: Sorry?

Postman: Was it YOU who made a complaint about me?

Me: Er... well...

Postman: Mr. made a complaint about me. Are you him?

Me [afraid for my life, fortunately the name isn't me]: No that's not me, but he lives in the flat next door.

Postman: What's your name?

Me: I'm Bob Wilson

Postman: Right. Who is Mr. then?

Me: He lives in another flat here.

Postman: He made a complaint about me not ringing the doorbell. That !!!!ES ME OFF. WHY WOULD I NOT RING THE DOORBELL?!!!

Me: I have no idea, but I do know that we've had a problem getting to the door before you drive off in your van with our parcels. Our neighbours and housemates have all mentioned the same problem, so if you could just wait a bi-

Postman: That's B*LLSH*T !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: I'm sorry?

Postman: It's B*LLSH*T

Me: Well, we've all had the same problem, so if you could just wait a bit longer for us to answer the door that'd be great.

Postman: I'M NOT GOING TO WAIT 5 MINUTES!!!!

Me: We don't need you to wait 5 minutes. Just 1 minute, long enough for us to get downstairs and answer the door.

Postman: FOR ALL I KNOW YOU MIGHT BE ASLEEP OR NOT HEAR THE BELL!! I'M NOT GOING TO $@£%@ HANG AROUND!!!!

Me: Please just give us a chance to reach the door before you leave, that's all we ask.

Postman: I F@$£%@ DO ALREADY!!!

Me: There's no need to be so angry with me.

Postman: IF YOU HAD A COMPLAINT MADE ABOUT YOU THAT WASN'T TRUE YOU'D BE ANGRY!!! IT'S BULLSH*T!!!

Me [feeling intimidated]: I don't have time for this, can I just have the parcel please.

Postman [more aggressive]: I DON'T HAVE TO F@£*%@@ DELIVER THIS PARCEL TO YOU BECAUSE IT'S NOT IN YOUR NAME. I CAN TAKE IT AWAY IF I LIKE SO DON'T BE SO RUDE!!!!

Me: How is this a way to treat a customer? It's in my sister's name, and it's for this address.

Postman: I'M A CUSTOMER TOO!! IT DOESN'T MATTER, IT'S NOT YOUR NAME. I CAN TAKE IT AWAY IF I WANT.

Me [afraid he won't hand me the parcel]: I'm sorry if someone made a complaint about you.

Postman: I DID RING THE DOORBELL AND I DO WAIT.

Me: Ok then, great, that's all I can ask.

Postman: SO WHY DID HE COMPLAIN THAT I DIDN'T RING THE BELL?

Me: I have no idea.

Postman: EXACTLY!!!

Me: Maybe there was a mix-up? Talk to your manager about it..

Postman: No way Man. It was a real complaint and it was a lie.

Me: Well I don't know about it, but I doubt someone would lie.

Postman: OHH YOU'RE SPEAKING FOR HIM NOW ARE YOU!!!!

Me: Er...

Postman [turns to his colleague]: YOU SEE THAT? HE'S SPEAKING FOR HIM NOW!!! HOW CONVENIENT!!!

Me: Can I have the parcel please?

Postman: I CAN REFUSE TO DELIVER IF I WANT. IT DOESN'T HAVE YOUR NAME ON IT.

Me: What?

Postman: ALL I'M SAYING IS, If someone made an official complaint about you that wasn't true, wouldn't you be angry?

Me: Er...

Postman: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF YOU'VE HEARD THE BELL OR NOT??

Me: By wa-

Postman: SEE!!! NO ANSWER!! YOU DON'T HAVE AN ANSWER!!!

Me: I do have an an--

Postman: SEE, NO ANSWER!!!

Me [stunned, afraid to speak in case he doesn't let me have the parcel]

Postman [leans towards me]: IT'S ALL B*LLSH*T MAN

Me [afraid to say anything]

Postman: SIGN HERE.

Me [I sign silently, later wishing I hadn't signed my real signature]

Postman: SO DON'T SAY I DON'T GIVE YOU LONG ENOUGH BECAUSE IT'S NOT TRUE.

Me: ok

Postman: THERE. HAVE A NICE DAY. [he gives me the parcels, him and his colleague walk off together]

I have to hand it to them, fear is an excellent way to stop customer complaints! A modern way of thinking. That'll teach me for making a complaint about Royal Mail! :rotfl:

scheming_gypsy

don't forget to phone the post office to complain about them

olias

bobwilson wrote: »

This postman was a well-built, young bearded arab man and his friend was a tall black man

An amazing ability to recall long conversations verbatim, and a racist! How much further do your talents stretch?

Olias

relic

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

don't forget to phone the post office to complain about them

It's not a true story, just a bored man telling a few stories!

relic

olias wrote: »

An amazing memory, and a racist! How much further do your talents stretch?

Olias

How is mentioning skin colour racist?

I'm white, oh dear, am I being self-racist?

Desperado99

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

don't forget to phone the post office to complain about them

Was just about to say the same thing.

Brill rant BTW

custardy

how can there have been two postmen when you spoke to the Royal Mail postman?

Leory

custardy wrote: »

how can there have been two postmen when you spoke to the Royal Mail postman?

As an ex postie - do you think this is the attitude a postman would take if a complaint was made against them?

I like the fact that this is an arab postman, but sounds like an american hippy.......man!

olias

relic wrote: »

How is mentioning skin colour racist?

I'm white, oh dear, am I being self-racist?

Because it is irrelevant to the story and therefore can only have been included to cause a reaction to peoples perception of a persons ethnicicity - look at the problems I have had with these johnny foreigners - wouldn't have happened with a proper English postman. Oh, and the fact that the OP has since edited his post to remove his racist comments speaks volumes. Pity I had already quoted him...

Olias

relic

olias wrote: »

Because it is irrelevant to the story and therefore can only have been included to cause a reaction to peoples perception of a persons ethnicicity - look at the problems I have had with these johnny foreigners - wouldn't have happened with a proper English postman. Oh, and the fact that the OP has since edited his post to remove his racist comments speaks volumes. Pity I had already quoted him...

Olias

He edited it because of idiotic comments like yours.

It is a story, therefore every bit of information is irrelevant, however, as he was telling us the story it is up to him how he potrays the people in it. Simply describing someone by the colour of their skin isn't being racist, it's fact.

Have you ever dealt with real racism in your life? Or are you one of these very sheltered people who claims anyone who discusses another persons colour, or where they were born as a racist?

Relic

scheming_gypsy

olias wrote: »

Because it is irrelevant to the story and therefore can only have been included to cause a reaction to peoples perception of a persons ethnicicity - look at the problems I have had with these johnny foreigners - wouldn't have happened with a proper English postman. Oh, and the fact that the OP has since edited his post to remove his racist comments speaks volumes. Pity I had already quoted him...

Olias

you're being racist by looking for something that can be seen as racist. If you weren't racist you'd have just read the post without thinking there was anything that could be conceived as racist.... just like the rest of us did.

I bet you're wearing a white dressing gown with a white pointy hat and burning black men!