family wedding woes...

littlecat29

Well after 2 months of no update to my sad family situation today it blows up again.. Brother has not spoken to me since the phone call detailed in my first post, i didnt even hear from him on my birthday last month.

Today i get cc'd by my brother into an email between him and our sister who is on holiday at the moment so it looks like they've had an email conversation. The basic jist is my sister had made a comment in her email to him about how he and i cannot communicate without argueing and we really must to sort out this problem to which his reply was that he wouldn't be coming to the wedding as he didn't want there to be an atmosphere on the day and there clearly would be between him and dad. He also wrote something about how no one understands his point of view or supports him and if i want a relationship with my dad and my step mum then its up to me so i have no idea what their email conversation has been about as it looks like he didnt send me the whole chain of emails just the final 2.

So, is this the way at he is telling me he's not coming to his own sisters wedding? I didnt reply to it i was far too upset and still am, yes it is true that he and i very rarely see eye to eye and have had fall outs before now but this is his sisters wedding.. I cannot understand how he can cc me into his reply to our sister saying he wouldnt be going and expect me to just understand.
I am devastated that my family has completely fallen apart since my mothers death, she would be so sad to see what has been left behind.
Am i supposed to choose between dad and my brother?

By the way, brother is 39 incase anyone was wandering if he was 12!!

Little cat

whitewing

You will have a lovely wedding day whatever happens. Don't attempt to soothe anything over. Just make it clear that everybody on your invite list is still invited and that's it. Leave it up to them whether they come or not. With our wedding, the people who loved it the most were the people that I wouldn't have expected to have been that bothered, and their obvious joy on the day made it extra special.

Leave them all to do what sits best on their conscience and don't stress. Without your intervention (except to make it clear to each person themself that you'd love them to be there) it's up to them to sort themselves out.

Hollie84

Hugs
Weddings seem to bring out all the cobwebs of the family who family members think you ought to invite despite not seeing or hearing from them for the last 20 odd yrs.stick to your guns,we to often allow people to make us feel rubbish and that we would invite all and sundry when actually its our wedding day and we should have there who we want not who others think.im sure your nan will come she is more than likely saying that so u say o ok i'll invite him then.i know u want her there but if she dont come she is only cutting her nose off to spite her face.dont know whats wrong with some people,they need to keep there noses out.ive had the same hun so know how u feel

Minimoo24

just say if your going to make a thing out of it, dont come either...give them a day or two and they will change there mind. or just tell them well this day isnt about u and what you want xxx

twink22

seems to be a popular problem. My mums side of the family have blanked me for months and shouted at my mum and made her cry as I didnt ask my cousin who i never see to be a bridesmaid! Although strangely enough they have all RSVP'd yes to the wedding even though they havent spoken to me since Christmas and have all been bad mouthing me to my mum, I wish I'd never invited them to be honest and will never forgive them for ruining the planning of my wedding (which I was enjoying so much up to that point!)