Marriage breakdown Financial advice please.

Rikki

I'm asking this on behalf of a close friend of mine.

After repeated attempts of trying to make the relationship work it has come to the point where it is finally over.
He now needs to know where he stands financially.
He wants to do things right but is unsure of he legal obligations.

Mortgage.......pay half?
Council Tax.....let them know he's moved out.
Sky.........cancelling
Internet.......cancelling
Credit card ...........cancelling her card
Bank account (joint).......opening a new account. Removing his name from the joint one?
Gas / electric direct debit..........cancelling and get a final bill.
Water rates.......
Arrange maintenace for children.

Any help and advice would be appreciated.

Claire_Jones_3

Hi, sorry to hear your friend is having to go through all this especially near christmas.

Just to let to you know both parties on the mortgage are joinly responsible for it so if he pays his half and she does he will still be liable. Best thing to do is to get his name off the mortgage but he needs to be careful incase he has any rights over the equity in the property.

Definately let the council know he has moved out, she may then get a reduction if there is only one adult living there but then its no longer his responsibility.

Make sure he checks he is not tied in on any contracts with the sky and internet otherwise it could cost him more money than it would just to let it run.

If the credit cards are just in her name let her deal with it but if his name is on them same applies as with the mortgage.

Good idea to get a sole bank account so he can keep his money separate from the household money but he could keep the joint one running to pay in maintainance, contributions to bills etc.

If he's not living there he will probably be best to get gas/electric transfered into her name but again may contribute towards the cost if his children are involved.

Same with water rates as council tax, may be able to get reduction also check if surface water (rain water etc) does into the main drains if not then there is a reduction there anyway.

Hope this helps

Rikki

At Christmas of all times.

He is still confussed about what he is expected to pay for

I have said only money for the children. Is there anything else?

The mortgage will have to be paid by both of them but it will have to be sold sooner rather than later.

She will claim income support.

Voyager2002

He really does need to see a solicitor, if possible before moving out.

If there is any equity in the (former) marital home, then presumably he will want his share. But if it is the home of his (ex) wife and children, she will be able to keep it until the youngest child is an adult.

Again, if he leave the children then it is likely that they will end up living with the mother, whether he likes it or not. If that is not his preference then he needs to plan his next move very carefully. Only someone who knows more law than I do, and knows the details of his situation, can advise him on what to do.

Rikki

There is equity in the property and I told him the courts can force the sale of the family home.
She will not be in a position to buy him out and the mortgage company will not let her take over the mortgage.

He is too emotional to think straight at the moment. He is not the one whos finished the marriage.

hobo28

As others have said, he is jointly liable for the mortgage. He should speak to his wife and decide how they will pay. Its not fair for him to pay the entire mortgage but if she's on income support, she's unlikely to be able to pay half either. Perhaps the only logical solution is to sell the house and split the equity. The mortgage company won't care who pays as long as they do get paid and will happily harrass whoever is easiest to get payment from.

Personally I would firstly decide what the plans are for the kids. As Voyager quite rightly points out, if he leaves the matrimonial home without the kids, legally he will be swimming against the tide in any later custody battles.

Other than that, financially from what you've said, he's responsible for the mortgage (half or more if she doesn't pay) and child maintenance.

Cancel the joint cards/accounts without delay. I've known a few ex's go on huge shopping sprees then expect the debts to be halved as "joint debts".

But my advice is deal with the kids first, mortgage and everything else after.

loftus

Difficult to give much advice without knowing more of the circumstances eg incomes, ages of children, mortgage, equity etc.
In a divorce with children their interests are paramount. Unless the current family home is bigger than the mother and children need she may be allowed to stay until the youngest child finishes secondary education - the definition of which can be a bit fuzzy when it come to A levels and where they are studied. Your friend may have a charge on the property but if his wife can't take the mortgage on he'll have trouble coming off the mortgage and consequently have difficulty getting a new one to house himself.
Depending on the ages of the children and his and his wife's earning capacity he may be liable for spousal maintenance as well as child maintenance.
If the family home is to be sold his wife may receive a far larger share of the equity if she needs it to house herself and the children.
He needs legal advice. Divorce is a complicated and potentially very acrimonious business.
One other thing, whose decision it was to end the marriage or whose fault it is counts for little.

ADC_3

similar thing happened to me. Wife left. I remained with 3 adult children and a dog. Huge mortgage still needed paying. Wife moved out to tiny rented flat with not much income.

Things of interest

1. When I told the bank about the situation they instantly froze the joint accounts and it took weeks to get them sorted out. Luckily I had some spare savings in my own name. This is their policy in marital disputes. Both parties are frozen out until they agree on how to resolve it. If you are in this situation and have money in the bank take it out before you tell the bank about the break up.

2. I took legal advice which said if I got away with a 50/50 split I would be doing well. A judge might award wife 60% and leave me with 40% or even worse. This was due to the length of the relationship (35 yrs). I was running my own business and doing all the work but had wife as company secretary and receiving dividends for basically doing nothing. Legal advice said she was still entitled to half the company's assets. Legal advice also said get divorced so I would no longer have a duty to support her. Without a divorce it was likely that I would have to pay maintenance as she has only a little income and I have a large one. It was also likely that I would have to keep her in the style to which she was accustomed which effectively mean providing a mortgage free place for her to live. Good thing this legal advice was free. Just rang a local solicitor. Try it.

3. Children even adult children suffered. They didn't understand and felt quite antagonistic towards her. She used children as messengers between us. Avoid this if you can

4. The only solution I have is to sell up. The family home for many years is worth a lot and it has to go. The mortgage is large but will be cleared when the house is sold and we split the rest 50/50. I will still have to provide a home for my undergraduate son when he's not at uni. Doesn't seem fair but the burden is falling on me. She can only afford a 1 bedroom flat.

5. Live goes on. My kids are great with me. My friends too. Even though this separation was a bolt from the blue I still have a life and a future. It's just not the one I thought I had 2 months ago.

Mics_chick

Definitely don't keep on a joint account - OH could clear it out or even leave it in the red and they can come to you to repay it!

When I split with my ex-husband we had a couple of loans, mortgage and joint account all with the same bank. They would not let one of us take our name off the account until we had been into see them and decide how debts were to be divided!

welshcakes

I self litigated through a very drawn out accrimonious divorce and it taught me a lot, mainly that one shouldn't expect the other party to remain reasonable and that family solicitors must stay in 5* hotels on holiday.

If at all possible, they should arrange to sit down, preferrably in a public but quiet place (neutral ground) and find out what the other expects/needs. Keep contact regular and both remember that a bad divorce normally makes only the solicitors winners.

Forget the little things, they can work themselves out and giving in on things that are important to one side can reap dividends for attaining the things you want.

Agree before anything not to talk about legal issues or money in front of the kids. MOney can be replaced, little people's heads can be mucked up for life.

Come up with at least three different options to put to the other side, see which one they are comfortable with - it gives a good psychological basis for progressing things positively with no one feeling they're being pushed around.

Know that there is life after divorce!

Mumstheword

How old are the kids?

If they use sky and the internet, make sure he isnt cancelling them to get at her - they could lose out too!

He may well end up paying the mortgage whilst she remains in the house. Unless it's an unreasonably expensive house, he needs to think about the disruption a move would cause the kids. They are already going to see mum or dad leave, and forcing them to lose their home too would be very hard for them. If the move means a change of school too, that's every stable part of their lives disrupted.

He'll send himself potty if he thinks of it as paying for her. He needs to keep in mind that he will be contributing towards the house and other costs of his kids, and that in paying a bit extra, he enables them to have one parent as a stay at home parent and there for them. Or he could send her out to work and be the at home parent?