Feel like my life is falling to pieces

donner_kebab

Hi eveyone,

I am a long time lurker and used to post a lot of the DFW board but I am hoping that some kind peeps on here may be able to give me some advice on getting my head together.

Basically I am 31, have a 14 year old DD and up until yesterday evening was in what I thought was a happy 5 year relationship with my boyfriend. He has been through a lot in the last few years as he lost his dad and I have tried so very hard to be there for him and look after him as best as I possibly could. Recently I have thought that he was getting a little distant and was getting very obsessed with his hobby (cycling) which I thought could have been due to his dad passing and finding something to focus on.

To cut a long story short, I have given him an awful lot of leeway as I suppose deep down I didn't want to loose him. I got niggly feelings though that we had got into a rut and that we needed to try putting in more effort to see each other as a couple but he told me that he really wasn't interested and that we shouldn't actually be together anymore. I am devastated...after 5 years he just wants to throw in the towel but suppose that I can't force him to change his mind so need to leave it be. I can't believe how much I love him and how he can do this to me.

I am worried about how I am gonna get over this heartbreak. I feel awful and am trying to find ways to keep myself busy all weekend before going back to work on Monday (and we both work in the same office as well as live together so that makes it worse).

He has gone away to his mums and I don't know when he will return. He said by text last night that he will think about things but I don't think he will be that interested in changing.

I am also worried about the fact I have £13k of debt to pay off from a long 7 year relationship that happened before this one where I was well and truly done over. It was at £20k + but have managed to get it down but now have to go back to having one wage and being a single parent again.

I feel so helpless. I want to see him but don't see the point in driving 90 mins to his mum's to have him tell me to get lost as it will make it worse.

Sorry for the ramble...just had to get it off of my chest. I know I need to focus on me and DD and getting my life and debt busting back on track and doing it asap but I feel so crap

Thanks for reading xxx

BitterAndTwisted

I have few words of comfort for you, really. It's horrible, horrible horrible when a relationship ends but just try and focus on this: it is not the just end of something but a brand new beginning. You WILL get those debts sorted in the end and you WILL find a better future for you and your daughter.

needhelpbadly

Oh hun I know what you are going through im going through the same thing as you right now and I feel as you do devastated .
Im going to be strong as I think you need to be and dont chase him , let him get on with it.
He has made his decision on what he wants , and you need to consider yourself first and your son . You are worth more than some idiot telling you what he wants or dosnt want out of a relationship.
Cover your backside and look after yourself and your child.
My heart goes out to you it really does.xx