lets just say,what if

deano72_2

i split with my g/f
weve been together 3 yrs & all is hunky dory.we are exspecting our first child which were both v happy about.now the Q is if we was to ever split would i get taken to the cleaners,i v seen a couple of my mates who was maried split up with there partners & end up with nout whilst the ex got to live in the house (bills+morgage paid for by my mates) with kids & my mates had to rent/lodge a room.iv worked my testies off doing my house up & wouldnt want to give it away.my gf does not pay rent/bills has not put a £ towards the house but does buy food.its just a half baked Q really as i have no intention of splitting up

fannyanna

You're not married and don't own a property together - am I correct?

To me it looks as though there aren't any assets to split.

The only financial consideration will be paying child maintenance which will be 15% of your net salary (if via the CSA).

fannyanna

But if all is hunky dory why would you want to split?

EDIT: Ok just seen that you have no intention of splitting up.

Fizzpop

If your not married and she doesnt have her name as joint owner of the house, then as far as im aware she would not be entitled to anything barr child maitinance from you for your child, of course all this changes once you put a ring on her finger and sign that bit of paper, oh and you will also have to re register the birth of your child too.

AmandaD28

What a daft question !!!!

Sorry if that offends it isn't meant to and Imay get flamed for saying this but my OH and I are expecting our 1st baby together and I would be very upset if he was asking questions like this on an open forum.

If you are both happy then why wonder it ?

*If* you were to seperate I believe there are now rules about couples who are unmarried and live together whereby she could indeed have a claim and there would be the maintainance due too at a rate of 15% as someone else said.

I hope however that none of that would even be an issue because having a child together is a life long commitment and shouldn't be taken lightly by either party I don't think anyone goes into it thinking they are going to split up with the OH

Good luck with the pregnancy !

make_me_wise

I dont think it is a daft question. The OP has seen his mates go from being in a happy marriage/relationship expecting a baby (where he is now) to going through the upset and trauma of splitting up and coming very unstuck financially.

There is nothing wrong with looking at changes in our lives from all angles. It doesn't mean he has any intention of splitting up just facing the potential consequences if that were to happen. Who is to say that the gf may not decide to walk away at some point. It may not be his move or decision. Going through life with eyes wide open and being aware is no bad thing.

I'm not sure where the law stands financially if a couple split when they are not married. I would suggest speaking with CAB and seeing what they advise.

deano72_2

Corect. No joint morgage.she dosent pay bills or anything.
I thought i would of got flamed & can understand if you thought it was a stupid Q,but when i told my mate about our gd news the first thing he said "u just aswell gjve her 1/2 ur house/assets now mate" but in fairness hes just got divorced & been screwd over so hes abit raw atm
I dont live in a bubble & know that things/people/circumstances change so what he said just made think for a min thats all,& if like me u had a lot to loose im sure any man/woman then that thought mite just cross ur mind
Tnx for the gd luck bit, nice touch. U to gd luck with urs

TeamLowe

haha must be the way my mind works, but I got the Kanye West song stuck in my head
'she got one of your kids, got you for 18 years'
Not that rap music always represents sound financial advice :rotfl:

Congratulations on your baby and hope you have a very happy family life!

Like the other poster i'm also pregnant with my first so would be upset if my partner was contemplating things, even only theoretically, but i know it's hard not to wonder when you see people who seemed perfectly happy but are now so desperately miserable
x x x

CAN1976

She kind of is contributing towards the house, as she is covering some of the bills (groceries). It's not very fair to let all her household contributions be expensed whilst yours are capitalised.

Doozergirl

CAN1976 wrote: »

She kind of is contributing towards the house, as she is covering some of the bills (groceries). It's not very fair to let all her household contributions be expensed whilst yours are capitalised.

I agree entirely.

And if she's bringing up your baby whilst you're at work paying the mortgage, don't forget that she's investing her life in something else for the both of you that is even more valuable.

Just because she may not pay cash directly into the house pot, don't forget that she's contributing to your in other ways. If you did split up, you need to remember what she may have been sacrificing in order for you to pay more cash into that pot.

I think at some point ie. when this baby arrives that you have to consider that you're both paying in equally to this house. An agreement that what you put in initially should be yours, but from this moment on it becomes 'ours'.

You may not be up for marriage yet, but having a child should be an equal commitment to that, and things should be shared with each other.

pinkclouds

Your divorced friend(s) are in a bad place emotionally just now - don't take on their negativity but simply provide caring, neutral support. It's so traumatic to see a relationship destroyed. Even "amicable" divorces are horrible when kids are involved. People think of all the moments they'll miss when the child is with the other parent but you miss a lot of special moments too when you are at work or the child is at daycare or school. And no one can predict the future.

I would like to think that you are the sort of person who would want their child and the mother of their child to have sufficient food, warmth and housing if anything happened to you - whether it was a bitter divorce or a sudden death. Whatever your objections to putting a ring on her finger, you ought to expect to give her something if you split up and you ought to name her as a beneficiary and next-of-kin, etc. Think of it this way: the money ultimately benefits your child, not you or your girlfriend. And you both really ought to think about wills, if you haven't already got them because of the way intestacy affects unmarried couples. If your girlfriend died tomorrow, you would lose two very precious people in your life (as I presume the pregnancy is some distance from term) and all her possessions, including sentimental things, would go to her parents. See? What-if scenarios are generally unpleasant. Take positive actions, enjoy what you have and don't dwell on horrid, morbid or depressing outcomes. Don't let your friend(s)' pain mar your joy.

Good luck with the pregnancy.