Is it really bad if we don't give a present?

lexilex

My OH's mum is getting married. We are really skint at the moment. We have already had to pay out around £150 on OH's suit and my dress been taken in. Plus spends on the day for drinks and it's costing a fortune.

I've bought a lovely card, personalised. They have asked for euros for their honeymoon which I don't like anyway, I prefer to get a bargain and nobody know what I have spent. It's hard to decide on an amount to give them without looking like we're been tight, so it would probably end up with us giving £50.

Would it be really awful not to get a present? Or can anyone think of a little token present?

Advice would be great.

Scotsbride

could you not put together a photo album or make something if you're really skint. You probably have a slight idea of where they might be going on honeymoon so may be a small something they could take or contact the place they are staying and arrange for a bottle of wine or flowers to be there when they arrive.

zcrat41

Hi,

I can totally understand you not wanting to give Euros. I know lots of people on here differ in opinion to me but I think asking for money is dead cheeky.

But on the other hand, it would be a bit cheeky to give them nothing. What about vouchers for babysitting if they have kids? Lots of help in the run up to the big day? Is there anything you can do in lieu of a present like help with flowers or cake? Or a travel book about the place their going on honeymoon?

I'm sure others may have better ideas than me?!

RainbowDrops

If you OHs mum is aware of your financial sittuation then hopefully she'll understand.

Maybe you could offer a virtual gift, eg offer to house sit while they're on honey moon, or make something for the wedding (stationary / food / favours), or get something small for their holiday, such as nice beach towels, luggage tags etc.

inspirespirit

How about something like this.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/WEDDING-MEMORY-SCRAPBOOK-MINI-ALBUM-Handmade-OOAK-/300563097794?pt=UK_CollCrafts_Scrapbooks_RL&hash=item45faf4e8c2

You can have their names personalised on it and it is ready made for them to put photos in. I always think something like this is nice to put those photos that family and friends take. The ones of great aunt hilda on the dance floor, etc. (btw this isn't me on ebay, lol), or you could take photos to put in it. Photos that aren't usually taken by the Wedding photographer. eg. photo of the bridge just lifting her dress slightly to show shoes, the back of the dress, close up of hands/nails holding bouquet, just two hands together with wedding rings, etc. etc.
I don't know how much time you have, but most people would make you a scrapbook in the colours of your choice.

brian_723

It will not look bad no one will think twice you cannot afford it end of ,give them a nice card and if you like write in it gift to follow later when your money probs are fixed or just give them something cheap but thoughtful .I have a relative who alway gets us presents but she is always in debt so I really get mad when she buys us gifts .

lexilex

I had thought about the photo album idea, and it's something I looked into months ago, but I think its something they will probably get a few of.

I'm trying not to go down the tacky dust collectors route, but all the gift websites are full of tat.

Ideally I would love a little something for their holidays. I can't remember where it is they are going, otherwise I would have sorted a bottle of champagne or something on the plane, but there's no way of finding out where they are going without asking.

jamsandwhich

Presumabely they will have lots of Honeymoon piccies when they return so why not offer to have them an album of pictures made or a canvas printed?

Photobox and Albelli both have offers running most of the time.

Photobox do a free spiral bound album worth £13.99 for new account sign ups but if you contact them they may let you use the 'credit' against a hardboard book. They also constantly have offers running for money off products.

Albelli I have used lots recently - they always have offers for free photobooks which are lovely and I have also had a couple of free canvas' off them too - all you have to pay is P&P and the credit can be used against more expensive items. I used a free photobook worth £15.95 offer against a £24.95.

Albelli's software isn't quite as straightforward to use but the results are as good as photobox (in my experience anyway) There are loads of threads on here about them and if you join their pages on facebook there are offers on there too.

RainbowDrops

lexilex wrote: »

Ideally I would love a little something for their holidays. I can't remember where it is they are going, otherwise I would have sorted a bottle of champagne or something on the plane, but there's no way of finding out where they are going without asking.

This would be a great idea - I did something similar for my parents a few years ago.
They went on holiday for their Wedding Anniversary, so I contacted their hotel & arranged for a bottle of bubbly to be there for them on the day - they were over the moon

Just ask casually, or get your OH to investigate.

brightonman123

how about a personalised photo album (various free printing offers around, at the mo),

or a book of favours (steady!), to be traded in the future- baby sitting, gardening, lifts to work etc?

lexilex

RainbowDrops wrote: »

This would be a great idea - I did something similar for my parents a few years ago.
They went on holiday for their Wedding Anniversary, so I contacted their hotel & arranged for a bottle of bubbly to be there for them on the day - they were over the moon

Just ask casually, or get your OH to investigate.

OH is going to text her best friend and see if she has any idea what the hotel is called.

My other thought it a wedding hamper, but not quite sure what to put in it.