Fed up of debt and feeling this way, need some advice, again.

Lucy1010

TuckingFypo wrote: »

This was my initial thought too. However, my mum won't allow me to, if I do she wont accept it, she wants it gradually. Plus I then get into the realms of capital gains tax and will lose even more money and I'm worried it won't teach me a lesson if you see what I mean.

Perhaps you should opt to take part in a TV programme where a privileged person has to swap places with a very poor person for a month, maybe that will help you put things into perspective? LOL

Joking aside, at least you know you have a problem and want to do something about it, you will get there, you just need some guidance and there are plenty of sensible people here to help you on your way It's a lovely character trait of yours that you care about your Mum, I know some people in your position would take theirs for granted.

Doubtful_Guest

This might sound stupid but I've found that the best way to change your spending is simply to restrict your access to money.

Work out a realistic budget of what you REALLY need each month - rent, bills, decent debt repayments, food, travel. Include a monthly standing order to your mum as one of your regular bills. Allow yourself some pocket money for entertainment and presents. Calculate the total amount required. Then only draw down that much each month from your investments. Cancel your overdraft. Cut up all bar one of your credit cards. Keep an emergency card but reduce the limit on it - do not use it for any other spending until you have developed better money habits.

Think of your spending habits as being similar to any other addictive behaviour and act accordingly. Just as it's not helpful to leave bottles of booze around an alcoholic, it's not going to make it easy for you to stop spending if you have easy access to lots of cash and credit.

bluebag

The change in attitude about money for me came when I began to see through the marketing. The profits large companies make by creating a 'want'. I had to decide did I want to have what they wanted me to want or was I going to tread my own path?

Society judges us on how we present ourselves, the well dressed smart looking person will have a better reception from most than the scruffy tramp, the 'chic' home is seen as desirable.

Marketing firms have cashed in on this by bombarding us with advertising and continually raising the bar. Brand names take perfectly ordinary items to a new status.

Huge profits are made from persuding people to constantly replace wants, high priced identifiably labeled 'wants'.

Fashion for example, perfectly servicable clothing is discarded as it is no longer the latest thing. The constant 'want' is created.

I felt as long as I was a slave to the heavily marketed 'wants' I was not using my money to do what I wanted do, to build a secure future. I was lining the pockets of the large companies. The bonuses of the top executives should tell you all you need to know about how succesful that is.

getagrip83

Hi tuckingfypo

Is psychology don't you know.

You are what's known as asset rich and cash poor,namely you are rich in shares but (on these boards I will say it very quietly) cash poor namely your income is lower than you imagine.


Your actual income is below national average ( i do know how skewed that statisic is thank you)


if you take 25000
tuition fees 9000
14000
rent 4000
10000


so that leaves less than £1000 amonth for all other bills.

Also dividend income is notoriously erratic the spread sheet is needed to make sure you can match your income with your outgoings so some months you will need to save as in the following months you may have no income at all.


The psychology comes in because you know you are rich but if you spend as if you have a high income you will spend all the capital and then you will be poor again.

Qualify as fast as possible and go in to private practice.

good luck, as you are obviously very intelligent to be at med school, you will win


gag

LovelyLeeds

TuckingFypo wrote: »

This was my initial thought too. However, my mum won't allow me to, if I do she wont accept it, she wants it gradually. Plus I then get into the realms of capital gains tax and will lose even more money and I'm worried it won't teach me a lesson if you see what I mean.

Ok, take your point (us Mums are far too kind aren't we!!). I think the limit before you pay tax is about £10,600 a year - she could have half and the other half go towards other debts.
Trying not to be judgmental, just that I do think storing shares when you can sell some is not helping your situation.

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi and welcome along.

I think selling your shares would be a bad idea, simply because it would feel like a quick fix and there would be no real effort involved in clearing the debts. I think it would be better for you to have to pay the debts back gradually and learn to budget properly.

I strongly believe that if you are bad with money, for whatever reason, then that is part of your personality. To change your ways is going to require a lot of effort and you are going to really have to battle against the money spending demons. The temptations will always be there and you are always going to be one of those people who loves buying things, you just have to learn to control it.

If you make one change in your lifestyle I would advise keeping accurate records of your finances. Make a promise to yourself that you will check your online banking every day and keep a spreadsheet recording exactly what you spend. If you use cash keep a spending diary so you know where its gone. This is ultimately what changed me, when I see it in black and white it makes it more real and I now make myself do a spreadsheet each month recording what money came in and where it went.

I think you have to be realistic too. I have just had a major slip up and spent more than I could afford on a week away visiting family. For me this is part of the debt free journey, I know I am going to fall off the wagon sometimes but at least I can look at my spreadsheets and see where I have gone wrong. I am currently trying to repair the damage by selling some things on ebay and cutting my budget for the next couple of months. Its all about having control of your money which is important for everyone, no matter how much you have.

Good luck, hope it works out OK for you.

dancingfairy

What is driving you to spend the money? Are you sucked in by advertising? Trying to match up to your 'high wealth' status?, trying to prove a point to somebody? trying to cope with uni stress? trying to keep up with friends? Once you figure out what takes your money ie clothes/food/etc then and why then you can find a strategy to deal with it.
Also you need to find something that will stop you in that actual moment of wanting to spend money - whether it's a dream holiday you want to save for, dream house, car, whatever. Something that you can put a picture of in your wallet to remind you why you are doing this. Something that is strong enough to overcome any short term temptations.
Also be realistic - there's not really any point pretending that you will suddenly start living like a hermit and eating beans on toast as that will clearly fail but start to bring things under control.
Best of luck
df

Skint_but_Optimistic

Hi there, I wish you all the best and I know how easy it is to get into trouble with money. Best thing I ever did was keep a spending diary, just so I could see where my money went. I dont keep one now ( but I do periodically, to retrain myself), but its taught me to mentally review any purchase - particularly over £5, whereas before I would spend up to £100 without a second thought. The result is I spend less, and if I do make a more expensive purchase its something we definately need. Good luck, every journey starts with a single step, asking for a bit advice is a great start.

abby1234519

TuckingFypo wrote: »

Suppose you're right, things can always take a turn for the worst and that's a big fear of mine, ruining everything and ending up with nothing! My goals are really just graduate the pre-med part of my degree with a minimum of a 2:i and pay my mum back, that's all! Did you mean financial or life goals?

Well either really!!!

I used to seperate them but now I realise that my life goals probably can only be achieved if I take into account financial goals!

I agree with the restricting your cash flow thing. Ie budget. Nothing wrong with having a budget with room in it but the point is to teach yourself to spend what you have assigned. Even if you spent £100 on clothes compared to £1000 well in either aspect aslong as you budgeted for it!

Do you pay your fees out of the 30k income or is that purely for living. Are you the sort of person who pays for his friends to go out (I used to...bad idea), do you have a girlfriend etc?

CH27

Keep a spending diary detailing EVERY penny you spend.

You will soon see were cash is being frittered away.

Set yourself a realistic budget & stick to it.