Fed up of debt and feeling this way, need some advice, again.

TuckingFypo

I am in a privileged position financially. However, I have always had a really bad attitude when it comes to money, I'd like to think that I'm not a stupid person but when it comes to money I constantly make bad decisions by being too materialistic, impatient and careless. I know what I'm doing at the time but tend to put it to the back of my mind. I've been here before and paid of my credit cards - but I just ran them up again without thinking about it on things I don't really need.

My question, really, is how did you guys change your attitude towards money? Was it a sort of lightbulb moment when you realised what you were doing and changed or was it a gradual process with slip ups? Or was the change purely out of necessity?

I owe my mum £29600 at the age of 25 years old, and have credit card/overdraft debt of £3450 or so. Like I say, I am in a privileged position and have a stock portfolio of around 3/4 of a million generating about £25k per annum in dividends which puts me through university, but this is a ridiculous amount of money to need per year for uni and I have no savings from it!

My mum doesn't want me to sell capital to pay her back, she just wants me to pay it gradually - but I constantly have this feeling of guilt that I owe her this money and unless I stop my selfish spending it'll take me a very long time to pay her back. There's also a danger that if I use capital to pay her back I will retain my frivolous ways and end up wasting the investments that I have been lucky enough to have inherited. I'm also in university for another 4 years because my course is so long (medicine) which doesn't really help as I have to pay tuition fees and living expenses where I live are extortionate.

I really apologise if I come across as a brat here, trust me I already feel like one, but I wanted to get it out in the open how stupid I've been, even to strangers and try to get some advice and help. I genuinely feel useless and terrible at the situation I have unnecessarily put myself and my mother in and I'm almost in tears when I read the stories on here describing how hard some people have had it and how things have been so bad for them, yet I've been such a fool

I seem to go in waves where it dominates my thoughts every day, then I completely ignore it and go on with my stupid spending. I just don't know how to change permanently. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

rdchick

Is there anything you can sell from your frivolous spending? Perhaps put your SoA on here for us to pull apart. You need to retrain your brain and respect money otherwise this will happen again.

I and I'm sure others won't judge you either way. However I wish I had the upbringing you clearly have had! 29k owed to your mum! Wow!

abby1234519

TuckingFypo wrote: »

I am in a privileged position financially. However, I have always had a really bad attitude when it comes to money, I'd like to think that I'm not a stupid person but when it comes to money I constantly make bad decisions by being too materialistic, impatient and careless. I know what I'm doing at the time but tend to put it to the back of my mind. I've been here before and paid of my credit cards - but I just ran them up again without thinking about it on things I don't really need.

My question, really, is how did you guys change your attitude towards money? Was it a sort of lightbulb moment when you realised what you were doing and changed or was it a gradual process with slip ups? Or was the change purely out of necessity?

I owe my mum £29600 at the age of 25 years old, and have credit card/overdraft debt of £3450 or so. Like I say, I am in a privileged position and have a stock portfolio of around 3/4 of a million generating about £25k per annum in dividends which puts me through university, but this is a ridiculous amount of money to need per year for uni and I have no savings from it!

My mum doesn't want me to sell capital to pay her back, she just wants me to pay it gradually - but I constantly have this feeling of guilt that I owe her this money and unless I stop my selfish spending it'll take me a very long time to pay her back. There's also a danger that if I use capital to pay her back I will retain my frivolous ways and end up wasting the investments that I have been lucky enough to have inherited. I'm also in university for another 4 years because my course is so long (medicine) which doesn't really help as I have to pay tuition fees and living expenses where I live are extortionate.

I really apologise if I come across as a brat here, trust me I already feel like one, but I wanted to get it out in the open how stupid I've been, even to strangers and try to get some advice and help. I genuinely feel useless and terrible at the situation I have unnecessarily put myself and my mother in and I'm almost in tears when I read the stories on here describing how hard some people have had it and how things have been so bad for them, yet I've been such a fool

I seem to go in waves where it dominates my thoughts every day, then I completely ignore it and go on with my stupid spending. I just don't know how to change permanently. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

You just have to figure it out in your head as to what you want from your money!

Yes, you are in a lovely position, but you might not always.....maybe sacrificing some of the fun times to put away for the day you might have children would be a good place to start. I mean you are only 25 (I'm younger mind ) but when you graduate you'll be facing long hours I am guessing. Do you have any goals you want to achieve?

Lucy1010

TuckingFypo wrote: »

I really apologise if I come across as a brat here, trust me I already feel like one, but I wanted to get it out in the open how stupid I've been, even to strangers and try to get some advice and help. I genuinely feel useless and terrible at the situation I have unnecessarily put myself and my mother in and I'm almost in tears when I read the stories on here describing how hard some people have had it and how things have been so bad for them, yet I've been such a fool

I seem to go in waves where it dominates my thoughts every day, then I completely ignore it and go on with my stupid spending. I just don't know how to change permanently. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Please don't apologise, you don't come across as a brat to me, most of us were careless with money in our 20's, (some still are in their mid 40's)

Anyway I will let someone else come over and give you some good advice

LovelyLeeds

TuckingFypo wrote: »

Like I say, I am in a privileged position and have a stock portfolio of around 3/4 of a million generating about £25k per annum in dividends which puts me through university, but this is a ridiculous amount of money to need per year for uni and I have no savings from it!

How about selling 5% of your portfolio and paying your mum back?

TuckingFypo

rdchick wrote: »

Is there anything you can sell from your frivolous spending? Perhaps put your SoA on here for us to pull apart. You need to retrain your brain and respect money otherwise this will happen again.

I and I'm sure others won't judge you either way. However I wish I had the upbringing you clearly have had! 29k owed to your mum! Wow!

Thanks for the reply, there's a few things that I could sell but currently with my attitude ridiculous I'd end up just buying them again. That's part of the problem, I have NO idea what I spend, I'm currently sifting through my online banking trying to workout my SoA figures! I think that is part of it, being a bit...spoiled growing up hasn't done me any favours, it's only recently that I've started to appreciate the value of money. I don't blame anyone but myself though.

TuckingFypo

abby1234519 wrote: »

You just have to figure it out in your head as to what you want from your money!

Yes, you are in a lovely position, but you might not always.....maybe sacrificing some of the fun times to put away for the day you might have children would be a good place to start. I mean you are only 25 (I'm younger mind ) but when you graduate you'll be facing long hours I am guessing. Do you have any goals you want to achieve?

Suppose you're right, things can always take a turn for the worst and that's a big fear of mine, ruining everything and ending up with nothing! My goals are really just graduate the pre-med part of my degree with a minimum of a 2:i and pay my mum back, that's all! Did you mean financial or life goals?

TuckingFypo

Lucy1010 wrote: »

Please don't apologise, you don't come across as a brat to me, most of us were careless with money in our 20's, (some still are in their mid 40's)

Anyway I will let someone else come over and give you some good advice

Thanks for being so kind, glad to hear I'm not the only one.

TuckingFypo

LovelyLeeds wrote: »

How about selling 5% of your portfolio and paying your mum back?

This was my initial thought too. However, my mum won't allow me to, if I do she wont accept it, she wants it gradually. Plus I then get into the realms of capital gains tax and will lose even more money and I'm worried it won't teach me a lesson if you see what I mean.

rdchick

TuckingFypo wrote: »

This was my initial thought too. However, my mum won't allow me to, if I do she wont accept it, she wants it gradually. Plus I then get into the realms of capital gains tax and will lose even more money and I'm worried it won't teach me a lesson if you see what I mean.

I don't think you will learn anything if you do that either as it's kinda the easy way out.. Could you not get a part time job or something to get you by? You need to learn how to face up paying it back.. I had 3 jobs in my final year of my degree to get me by...

TuckingFypo

rdchick wrote: »

I don't think you will learn anything if you do that either as it's kinda the easy way out.. Could you not get a part time job or something to get you by? You need to learn how to face up paying it back.. I had 3 jobs in my final year of my degree to get me by...

I think that's an idea, I could actually get a job this summer too, currently off until the 26th of september for summer, I'll get taxed but could still make a decent amount I'd say. I guess rather than thinking suddenly I'll have a magical moment that will change how I am I need to take a good look at finances, what I'm spending, what I owe and where I can make some extra money - whilst stopping careless spending. Sounds so simple...doesn't feel it though! :P