Help needed with depressed young adult

bishboshbluebell

Hi there, my partner and I are at our wits end and would really appreciate some help/advice regarding our 18 year old son.

Over the past 2 years, he's dropped out of school/college for various reasons. This year he seemed to be on track and has been (reluctantly!) going to college to study A levels.

The problem is he hates college/studying, has made zero friends, locks himself away in his room and plays WOW all the time (my partner works from home so we have to have the internet on) He won't discuss anything, is totally withdrawn, doesn't sleep at night and has piled on the weight.
He had the opportunity to work for a short time - not interested not motivated by money or anything else.

He's refusing to go to the doctors, saying it's all our fault.

We've just don't know what to do. If he wants to drop out of college and get job/apprenticeship that's fine by us. The problem is he is just not interested in life.......

Darlyd

Awe bless you all, must be hard to deal with this, worried about your little boy. He defo needs to see a doctor about this, could be something going on that you have no idea about. (kids do keep things away from parents), BUT he is not interested in going is he? This may be tougher. OK is there a relative/friend anybody that can be friend him and talk to him? Get to the bottom of things? And in the mean time, email samartans they may be able to offer you advice on how to go about this, and what you can do to help your son.

EDIT: Just thought, When my SIL was on one, MIL made an appointment with her GP and spoke to him about what was going on, he told her he could not do nothing without SIL contacting them, unless MIL found it neccasary (sp) to section her, But SIL daughter was next of kin and didn't want this even though she witnessed SIL taking over doses.

meritaten

sounds like depression hun - you MUST get him down the doctors! a bit of subterfuge may be called for. like seeing the gp yourself and telling him/her what you have told us. perhaps the gp could then phone up and ask to see your son for a routine check up? and go from there?

bishboshbluebell

Thanks for advice. Like the idea of doc getting son to come down - think that will work. didn't think of Samaritans - thanks will do that. We don't have family as such - 2 elderly mums and a special needs sis! Feel so much better for your kind words. X

happierdaystocome

Hi Bishboshbluebell, so sorry to hear about your son. I havent really got any advise beyond what has already been offered as due to his age unless he is a risk to himself or others, he must appoach the G.P to access support.
I would suggest that you consider having a look at the youngMIND website and they also have a free phone parents helpline http://www.youngminds.org.uk/

ERICS_MUM

Could it be something "physical" such as thyroid problems or diabetes ?

I do hope he (and you, his loved ones) can get some effective help,

JoJoB

Maybe try your local connexions service too for advice - their personal advisors are trained to help your son with all aspects of his life and may be able to get him involved in healthy activity again.

jetta_wales

I know a lad only a little older who's thrown away his Uni course and all the money that paid for it and his girlfriend and friends due to being addicted to playing WOW, he's attempted suicide but still plays the game and is under community care with a nurse visiting him every day to try to prevent further suicide attempts. My ex was addicted to a similar game too, Final Fantasy XI.

I'm not saying this to scare you or anything I'm just trying to show you that there are serious cases of addiction to games like these and the numbers are growing. Not everybody gets so absorbed in them to the point of addiction but some do.

I'd look at blocking his internet access during the day at least for now and insist that he must be doing something productive with his days to be living with you. I know your Internet needs to be turned on but there are ways to limit the hours that he can access the router. He won't be able to play WOW over a mobile phone connection or weak wifi from somebody else in the street you need a good connection for it so putting parental control settings on the router would work well.

The guys in the Tech Stuff section would take you through how best to do this on your router.

caledonian_princess

I'm guessing from your comment about the internet that you've contemplated pulling the plug on him? How does he fund his WoW subscription? Is there anything you can do about that? Also, some routers will allow you block access to a device either all the time or between certain hours of the day - that may be a good solution for you. Finally, as a gamer myself, it may not be the root of all evil. I play games similar to WoW and have a good social network through them, I even met my last OH on one and during the time we were "courting" I spent every spare moment in the game with him. I know that's it's generally different for males but he may be getting some "social support" from other people in the game.

lostinrates

bishboshbluebell wrote: »

(my partner works from home so we have to have the internet on)

Is this via wifi? Is there a phone point in his room or if you turned off wifi and your husband used a wire to connect to internet from where he can work that might work. Might not be ideal, but neither is curent situation.