DFW effects on family

melaniec_2

I think you've done really well to get your debt down so quickly and with your new job things will seem less tight in the new year. Have a family meeting, we always had these as a kid. Tell them your acheivement, your eldest will understand and you can reasure them and tell them about your plans for the future. Maybe have a monthly family day out where you give them a choice of what you do.

Kids always feel like they don't have enough clothes or the latest item, there is always one kid at school that was so spoilt they have no idea how much anything costs. My mum bought us up on her own, we always had a bike and generally what we wanted. But she saved all year for them, I remeber going to the bike shop so she could pay into the christmas fund, looking back now I have no idea how she did it.

Well done but don't feel guilty about giving your kids a better life

judi24

Thanks to you all for the replies. It is reassuring to know that other people feel the same way. I will take up the sugestion of a family meeting. I hope this will help us work as a team a bit better.

Seaxwyn

Hi Judi

Just wanted to say I really share a lot of your feelings. I have four children too (ages 5-12) and feel bad that they are missing so much - particularly holidays, I'd love to be able to take them abroad.

We've talked to the older two (12 year old twins) about our situation and they are very supportive. One of them is particularly fanatic about turning off lights! I do pay for school trips and give them money to go shopping on a Friday after school, as this is what their friends do. But they never have new clothes, CDs etc. They are quite mature about this and don't ask for much. One of them was teasing me today however as I was trying to calculate which pack of cheapo christmas cards was the best deal, regardless of how hideous they were!

I do agree with other posters who say a happy family life and doing things with their parents is more important than having lots of stuff. I share your angst about working long hours and try to include 'family time' in my plans and resolutions.

Good luck with it, and well done for clearing so much debt so quickly.

sheraz2

Don't worry, you aren't damaging them, but your enriching them and teaching them harsh lessons of life, in an unharsh environment.

Parents definately influnece there children and if they don't see you struggling a little financially every now and again they will grow up with the mindset that their parents never had money problems why should they!

teacup_2

Was just reading all the posts. At christmas my husband and I normally spend about £40.00 - £50.00 on the children. The children have a medium sack each. They are as good as gold ,and opposed to having a lot of things, they have about 7 pressies of things they love . They have never been given loads of stuff at christmas and now they are not greedy or ungratefull. They are ten and 8 and both beleive in father christmas . Even when things change and I am sure they will change into teenagers, and non believers. I feel that I have brought two children up who are not so materialistic that they will demand this and that. We are a family of 4 with an income of £1200.00 all the usual bills mortgage , no help etc petrol food.
I am not working at the moment through choice , we have a lovely modest home we are in our thirtys , made lovely as I have the ability to renovate furniture and pick up things from boot fairs, jumbles etc and do some magic on them. I consider ourselves to be very lucky as I have brought the children up since babies at home and had time for them,( I know it is down to circumstance for a lot of people ). We could have done with the extra income but the things like taking the kids to school picking them up, having a healthy dinner everynight. Not having life whizz past so fast.Are important to me . Hubby works and to be honest I like being a support the way I am to the family. We dont have many holidays maybe a weekend break here and their . If I was to work I would just probably spend / waste more , so with what we have at the moment we are carefull with NOT MEAN carefull!.
At the moment our only debt is our mortgage , never had a credit card etc,
Money saving expert has provided me with cinema trips !, mystery shopping meals . Valuable advice and freebies. In the new year I would like to do ebay, and earn some pennys!.
I get more out of buying something 2nd hand than I would something new, its looks just as good and you know you havent spent more than you can, and instead of feeling bad you feel good.
I just bought martins book the new one, I tried lemon on my bathroom taps just as good as limescale remover!.
Martins book is good and I love reading about his experiences and you can see he is entusiastic about what he does too!. So young and wise too!.
We all think it would be nice to win the lottery and yes I guess it would, but I guess it would be strange to lose that want, of things that you couldnt have had , when you know that you could have them on a plate! .
But it is hard to instill certain things , when it is a materialistic world we live in. We can only hope to do the best we can.
This email isnt really an answer or anything I just woke up early!. I find it more fun being carefull with money then being spendy. We do live to the breadline but this website has saved me pounds . Kids will remember christmas for the tree and being together, when they are older. Now maybe what they got!. My children get really excited if we go to a boot fair as they know they will get lots for their money! little mini money savers in the making. I think it is a valuable lesson. i do teach them that kindness and generosity in yourself goes a long way . Time doesnt cost money, giving someone time is a gift and listening too.


Bye teacup