guilt about possible lodger

meames_2

I advertised for a lodger and a man came to view it on sunday. He was really nice but explained that he had been living abroad for a few years, come back got a job tp get by on and been made redundant and he was going through a divorce.

He mentioned a crisis loan to cover the first month rent ( but not a deposit) and would pay the rent in housing benefit which is paid in arrears. he really liked the room and wanted to take it but I suggested that we should both consider it overnight, although he did keep stressing I should be happy woith the arrangement.

The next day I did a bit of research and found that HB is a flat rate and is at current market value and does not cover the bills part of rent ( which mine includes) this would be made up through their job seekers allowance . I rang him to get hin to check for his own piece of mind what he would be entitled to as I didn't want him to be under any false illusions. He had another house to view and he should check that first as well. In my research I checked my house insurance which is due for renewal, I rang my current company who refused to quote for an unemployed lodger. Continuing with the bad day my car had a service and MOT and cost me £450, I couldn't make a reasonable decision that day because I felt my judgement was impaired by that!

I rang later and said that as it was my first time as a land lady I felt a bit out of my depth, he was very good about it and said I had to be happy with the situation and wished me well. But now I feel awful, so guilty. I feel i have kicked a man when he is down and needed someone to help, i would hope some one would help me if in that position and haven't done that.

I know some people will feel its should be on the renting forum but I think I just need a little bit of reassurance i'm not too heartless. What would you have done?

Thanks

whitewing

I have every sympathy for people in awful situations, but you must look after yourself, especially if it's your first time. Get some eperience behind you and then you can give someone their lucky break.

diable

Don't feel guilty, business is business.

relic

The guy was obviously a liability, no offence to him.

Seems to me like you would be chasing him for money every month, would rather feel a bit bad now than have to worry about that month after month then get to the point where you need to kick him out of your own home!

Brighton_belle

By turning him down (very sensibly in my opinion as a landlady - you need experince and to be confident & unstressed in your own home) you have released him to find an even better place for him tomorrow, where he ends up living next door to the person who becomes the love of his life and on an easy bus route to the job he gets next week.
So in other words - you are not in charge of the universe and other people's fates. It is not all down to you.

The best person for your right now will turn up - be confident in your gut instinct.
And also know that I have 8 yrs experince and still feel awful when I turn someone down. But I have had 8 happy and sucessful years landladying so must be getting something right.