Has anyone suffered with ... and can help me

fifi63

Do you think you might be a bit depressed or stressed. I use a really good website called the mood gym which helps using a technique callled CBT. It trains your mind to look at things in a different and better way.

jenniewb

Sounds like stress to me, when you get stressed what your worried about becomes your number one priority, there are times things switch a little, you calm down and are able to think about other things and do so. You try to deal with day to day things and things seem outwardly normal. Then you become stressed again and your priorities again switch and your focus is back to what was stressing you out.

It does sound like a case of being overwhelmed rather then anything else, and I know it bothers you: so its up to you to do something about it, but please don't think your anything abnormal. You can be the same as other people but if things bother you can change them. Its just a difference of standards.

brians_daughter

Pocketlady wrote: »

hi guys

This problem is very serious and seems to be getting worse.

During my normal day to day life I cannot make connections which any "normal" person would.

Like recently when I had not realised that I could do the food shop as I could use my clear credit card and then pay it all off the day after when our cash went into the bank, in essence it would be like using a cash card. I never thought of this, it was DH that had, we would have eaten a mother hubbard meal of scraps left in the fridge for a couple of days rather than fresh food had it been left to me.

A little eg

I told my husband that I was fed up with the loo seat being up all of the time as the wall etc was being "sprayed" when the loo is flushed. He said fair enough and that he would take it on board etc.

Later on that day my youngest son came and sat next to me and mentioned that he had just been for awee (in his words). No alarm bells rang or anything to remind me to ask him to close the lid. So my husband then said "oh aye, I get told off but no one else does".

I was mortified, I had the thought "oh my god yeah, I forgot about that".

This is just a small example, but put together with others which occur daily it is now getting scary.

It seems as though I act as though I am living with no consequences or responsibilities or am constantly "zoned out" and not living in the real world, it takes a nudge from DH to bring me to reality, and I'm not really sure how much more he can cope with my behaviour, he has constantly supported me and talked to me, made suggestions to try to help me. At the time and for a few days after talking or even falling out I can shake myself out of it, but then revert back after a few days.

I am a well educated, clever person, I can beat my DH in any puzzle/word game, so I know that it isn't a case of me being thick, or having a marble or two missing.

I am keeping a diary with day to day to do list in it, a book to put notes in when I realise that I have had another occurrance, I am now walking around on a minute to minute basis thinking "have I forgotten anything? or what can I do ?"

Has anyone suffered similar?
please help or advise.

Dont worry! I am like this lol.

I do too much at once and my brain isnt always in gear.

Interesting you state you are well educated and are good with 'mental puzzles' etc. Some people are academic at the detrement to practical things, some are good with their hands but rubbish with academia, some are very practical and plan well but are rubbish regarding social skills.

I was having a conversation with one of the senior lectures at my uni (i am a mature student) and he was saying the reason the department was in such a mess was they were all academically gifted but common sense or ideas didnt come easliy to them.

I write lists, and i plan. re the cc thing - maybe your hubby and you have diff attitudes to using a credit card? and the loo seat issue - so what, is it really a big issue ? a young boy wasnt told about the loo seat! We have 3 children and if i had to remind them about the loo seat everytime then it would be all i ever said!

Why not (just an idea!) write a list of your strengths and weaknesses and the same for your hubby.. you will see quickly you are both very different with diff strengths and weaknesses - and it is those traits that complement each other and allows your marriage to work

If it makes youf eel any better i went to the supermarket to buy baby formula, came out without is. so called at the chemist near home to pick some up and walked out without it - after paying for it!!!

BlondeHeadOn

Pocketlady wrote: »

It has become more and more of a problem over the past 6 years since I left work due to incapacity.

My husband has had to think for the two of us and I know that you are right in that I don't think for myself, this is what I am looking for solutions for me to get a grip on.

I think that this might be one of the causes right here! ^^^^

You've left work, probably have less social interaction and more leisure, less mental stimulation, maybe a touch of depression, less to keep your mind occupied and working at its best.

I was unemployed for a few months when younger. After a few weeks of inactivity I was starting to get worries about my absent mindedness and feeling of disconnection. I started working again and fely almost immediately back to normal.

Mental stimulation sounds like the answer...

HTH

Gloomendoom

OP are you blonde?

Skymist

Pocketlady, are you perchance pre/post menopausal? Both of these situations can cause/contribute to how you are feeling and alter your outlook on life and bring on a change in your general disposition, especially when illness is tagging along too. Did you start taking any medication since you left work 6 years ago? Over time medications can have varying effects, especially when taking more than one at a time (if others have been added).

S

Fuzzy_Duck

I honestly wouldn't worry about this too much OP- I do similar things myself, but far far worse. I was going to give an example, but I'm far too embarrassed

Like you I can prove myself to be intelligent, so it's not about me being thick. I stress about things a lot, and that hinders my thinking- leading to me forgetting things or doing something silly. I forgot to take my cash out from a cash machine the other day- it was only £10 and yet I was so busy stressing about it being the last of my money until payday I wandered off without it :eek: It's like my constant worrying about this and that interferes with my thinking.

In my case I've been like this since I first started experiencing anxiety- when I was 11- and it's stuck with me as I haven't really ever learned to deal with stress. Is this a new thing for you OP, or a recent thing? Either way my guess would be that you've got a lot on your plate at the moment and it's beginning to impact on your life a bit. The fact is you're aware of it and that should help minimise it in future.