Has anyone suffered with ... and can help me

Pocketlady_2

hi guys

This problem is very serious and seems to be getting worse.

During my normal day to day life I cannot make connections which any "normal" person would.

Like recently when I had not realised that I could do the food shop as I could use my clear credit card and then pay it all off the day after when our cash went into the bank, in essence it would be like using a cash card. I never thought of this, it was DH that had, we would have eaten a mother hubbard meal of scraps left in the fridge for a couple of days rather than fresh food had it been left to me.

A little eg

I told my husband that I was fed up with the loo seat being up all of the time as the wall etc was being "sprayed" when the loo is flushed. He said fair enough and that he would take it on board etc.

Later on that day my youngest son came and sat next to me and mentioned that he had just been for awee (in his words). No alarm bells rang or anything to remind me to ask him to close the lid. So my husband then said "oh aye, I get told off but no one else does".

I was mortified, I had the thought "oh my god yeah, I forgot about that".

This is just a small example, but put together with others which occur daily it is now getting scary.

It seems as though I act as though I am living with no consequences or responsibilities or am constantly "zoned out" and not living in the real world, it takes a nudge from DH to bring me to reality, and I'm not really sure how much more he can cope with my behaviour, he has constantly supported me and talked to me, made suggestions to try to help me. At the time and for a few days after talking or even falling out I can shake myself out of it, but then revert back after a few days.

I am a well educated, clever person, I can beat my DH in any puzzle/word game, so I know that it isn't a case of me being thick, or having a marble or two missing.

I am keeping a diary with day to day to do list in it, a book to put notes in when I realise that I have had another occurrance, I am now walking around on a minute to minute basis thinking "have I forgotten anything? or what can I do ?"

Has anyone suffered similar?
please help or advise.

belfastgirl23

eh? this sounds totally normal to me...who doesn't forget things once in a while. I am the queen of walking into a room and vacantly staring at the wall wondering what I'm doing there.

Is this an odd way of trying to talk about your husband controlling you? Cos to be honest if these are the things that wind him up there's something more going on here

Pocketlady_2

It isn't the odd thing or the odd occasion, and my husband does not control me in anyway at all.

I feels as though I need help in focussing my attentions and am asking if anyone has anything particular that they do to maintain that focus.

Pocketlady_2

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Is this an odd way of trying to talk about your husband controlling you? Cos to be honest if these are the things that wind him up there's something more going on here

Thank you for replying but it isn't a way to talk about a controlling husband, it is about a shout for help in focussing my attention and not having my head in the clouds.

candygirl

Pocketlady wrote: »

Thank you for replying but it isn't a way to talk about a controlling husband, it is about a shout for help in focussing my attention and not having my head in the clouds.

Have you been through any traumas or bereavements recently?I am more switcHed off since my Dad died , but still able to cOpe with finances etc, just don't feel as sharp as I used to be IYSWIM:o:o

floss2

Or maybe there are things going on at work that are troubling you without realising it, or just a general mounting-up of everyday "stuff" that you seem to be being submerged by?

Bronnie

Lack of mental stimulation, boredom with routine, not enough activity?

(Don't think there's anything odd with the toilet seat episode, personally.....did think your hubby's response was a bit petty though!)

Pocketlady_2

Bronnie wrote: »

Lack of mental stimulation, boredom with routine, not enough activity?

This could fit and it isn't something that I had thought of, i do act very automatically as though I am programmed sometime. I believe that i need to break some routines so that I think a little more.

My husband had laughed as he said that he wasn't petulant or anything. Bless him.

Slinky_Malinky

Is this a recent thing? Are you taking any medication that has the side effect of affecting concentration ( e.g. hayfever meds can do this)

Maybe you have fallen into the habit of DH telling you what to do so just don`t think for yourself (not meant in any nasty way btw)

Maybe you are just a bit ditsy - my mum has always said that folk who are very clever tend to not have much common sense.

I find personally that times when I have little to deal with that I can cope/concentrate ok, but if I have too much stuff going on my mind just seems to go blank as if it has blown a fuse and I struggle to organise the simplest of things.

Pocketlady_2

It has become more and more of a problem over the past 6 years since I left work due to incapacity.

My husband has had to think for the two of us and I know that you are right in that I don't think for myself, this is what I am looking for solutions for me to get a grip on.

Bronnie

Slinky_Malinky wrote: »

I find personally that times when I have little to deal with that I can cope/concentrate ok, but if I have too much stuff going on my mind just seems to go blank as if it has blown a fuse and I struggle to organise the simplest of things.

LOL! I am the opposite, hence my post above.

When I have a lot to do, demands and challenges, I'm fired on all cylinders. When my time is less structured and mundane and tedious in it's routine I can go through phases of achieving very little and certainly be quite ineffectual drifting along and losing a lot of time.

A bit of both is good in life though!