divorce nearly over but feeling flat

bonjovibel_729

hiya i split up with my husband last june and have been in the process of gettin divorced and recently my ex took me to court for more contact to my son....i have three children altogether...

we went to court on monday and i agreed to an extra three days a week as long as my son is cared for an happy then i am ok with that although obviously i will miss him a lot

i also went to court on tuesday with regards to financial matters re:the divorce...we jointly own a house which we bought in 2007 there is little or no equity in the property..due to me not working at the moment i would not have been able to afford to keep the house so i asked my solicitor to try and get my ex to sell it as i dont think he can afford it alone either..he is already in arrears with the mortgage...however when we went to court he argued that he should get to keep the house and the judge went in his favour he said i should stay on the mortgage for the next 5yrs at which point my ex will have to sell the house....obviously i am not happy with this as if he accrues anymore arrears i will still be liable and if house prices increase during the next five years i will also not be able to claim any of the equity as it is officially being signed over to him....i find this completely unfair...and am struggling to move on from this...

also when i was in the process of moving out my ex came back from his parents and changed the locks and refused me access to get the rest of my stuff....i thought i would be able to get it back through the divorce i did not have a chance to get any of the big stuff i wanted ie : kids beds and furniture ....when we went to court i made a list of hte things i wanted back but only asked for a few things ...think there was five things on the list i wanted back....my thinking was if i asked for everythin i would look greedy and i was tryin to be fair...however when the judge asked him where the things were he said he had given them away to charity and basically the judge said there wazs nothin he cud do.....even the kids toys were given away!!

thought that when i had been to court and got all this sorted i would feel a lot better that that chapter of my life was over....but i hate going past the house knowing that he still gets to live there...also seeing the car that we both used to own that he got to keep...now the fact that he gets to keep all the contents of the house....basically nothing has changed for him his life is the same as it was before we split up apart from the fact that he sees his son a little less however i have never stopped contact.....


sorry if i sound really bitter but am feeling really deflated by it all... am already on medication to try and help my anxiety but am still strugglin to accept what has happened.