Why don't people look after things anymore?

Sensible_Jess

Discovered this morning that my OH has ruined a lovely 'shabby chic' bedside table. It now has ring marks and large tea stains on it which are impossible to remove.:mad:

It's in our guest room which we've been sleeping in for a month or so as it's on the cooler and darker side of the house. On the top I placed a mat to put drinks on but he's ignored it and moved it to one side to put his bedside drink directly on the wooden table.

I'm really upset. The table took me ages to find and I was so pleased when I finally found a decently priced one rather than one from the overpriced antique shops. I've only had it since December (paid for with my own money, not out of the joint account) and now it's ruined and stained and I can't get the marks out at all (I've tried).

Why don't people look after things any more? It must have been like that for a couple of weeks now and he's not mentioned it, like he doesn't see there's a problem.

Had my vent, now of to take my mind off it.:(


S-J

lostinrates

Can you sand it back and repaint?
Maybe a scrub with sugar soap might do it?

aliasojo

I find this a lot in my house too. If it's not important to them, they just don't take the same care. I ended up exploding one day and read them all the riot act and told them they might not feel the same way as I do about certain things, but they damned well better start respecting my feelings and taking more care otherwise they might just find their things suffer the same lack of respect.

It's amazing how the thought of an xbox falling off a shelf whilst being polished for example, can focus the mind.

Your OH didn't do this out of badness, he did it because he just didn't 'see' any problem. You need to chat with him about it so he understands what the issue is.

I have no idea if the marks are able to be got out, but if not could you maybe buy or make some sort of material mat for the top to cover it up? Kinda like a runner on a table?

caledonian_princess

What is the finish on the table?

It's too late for now but to stop it getting any worse, or happening again if you get the marks off, use an oil cloth or one of those nice big bendy plastic chopping boards. I had exactly the same problem with my ex and I'm still trying to get the pan marks off my kitchen table - now got to the point where I'm having to sand off the finish to see exactly how far down into the grain the marks go; I find myself muttering expletives every time I try to get the marks out!

It's very annoying so you have my sympathy.

melancholly

it may be salvageable..... can you stain it or sand it down first and varnish it? (or more to the point, can he, since he caused the damage?!)

scooby088

Well if it's shabby chic then it doesn't matter that much does it, it's supposed to look shabby.:D

shy-but-need-help

We sound like we're married to very similar men, like Aliasojo says my DH genuinely doesn't seem to "see" things before they happen although is usually fairly remorseful after I point them out (even if this comes after he's been a complete t*t being all defensive about it trying to make out like it doesn't matter)

In our house I put it down to how we were raised- I had parents who worked their rears off to make our house nice- both in terms of saving for things and in cleaning/tidying to ensure we made the best of what we had, his mother had the attitude if she couldn't afford the good stuff then it wasn't worth looking after so he never learnt to treat things as I did and it's taken a decade of training to get him to see we can have pride in and make the best of what we do have.

I hope it's salvagable, if there is a way you can guarantee someone on MSE will know what it is!

Mojisola

Sensible_Jess wrote: »

Discovered this morning that my OH has ruined a lovely 'shabby chic' bedside table. It now has ring marks and large tea stains on it which are impossible to remove.:mad:

It's in our guest room which we've been sleeping in for a month or so as it's on the cooler and darker side of the house. On the top I placed a mat to put drinks on but he's ignored it and moved it to one side to put his bedside drink directly on the wooden table.

I'm really upset. The table took me ages to find and I was so pleased when I finally found a decently priced one rather than one from the overpriced antique shops. I've only had it since December (paid for with my own money, not out of the joint account) and now it's ruined and stained and I can't get the marks out at all (I've tried).

Why don't people look after things any more? It must have been like that for a couple of weeks now and he's not mentioned it, like he doesn't see there's a problem.

Had my vent, now of to take my mind off it.:(

Have you told him how upset you are and what was his reaction?

daska

shy-but-need-help wrote: »

In our house I put it down to how we were raised- I had parents who worked their rears off to make our house nice- both in terms of saving for things and in cleaning/tidying to ensure we made the best of what we had, his mother had the attitude if she couldn't afford the good stuff then it wasn't worth looking after so he never learnt to treat things as I did

I'd agree with this but it is amazing how differently people can turn out even from the same household. DSD doesn't look after things at all but her older brother runs around with coasters and irons his underwear (and he's straight LOL).

pinkshoes

Ahhhh, but some people (me included!) are oblivious to the whole mug stain thing...

Having had Ikea furniture in previous properties, I have now (unintentionally) ruined my OHs side table by putting coffee mugs on it, and hot bowls of porridge. I just assumed they'd wipe off (having only had Ikea cheap cr*p which always wipes clean!), but when I discovered they didn't, it was a bit of an "uh oh" moment.

(OH doesn't seem to mind too much though, thankfully, and I did buy some drinks coasters to put my coffee mug on now!)

chatnoir

Sand it back, and repaint it! you won't even notice.

If it has an aged look about it the rub it with wax