Doctor visiting at home, is this a common occurence?

MoneySaverForever

Hi all, without going into too much details, I'm struggling to come to terms with being diagnosed with cancer and I don't hold out much hope of getting better, as optimistic as the health people are. I called my GP this afternoon because I'm finding it difficult to cope with life in general and he made me promise him that I wouldn't "do anything silly" and that he would visit me tommorow morning at 7:45am to have a chat about things. I asked him if going into respite was an option for me because I've got very depressed due to my news and not working now and I just don't know how much longer I can carry on like this. I can't deal with the illness but the depression is really getting to me and I don't have a lot of family to turn to. I'm struggling to get through the days, never really throught it would be this bad. Do you think I should ask to be admitted? what would happen in that situation? I'm not mental, just having a hard time of things right now. I already have a Social Worker and Support Worker but I can't talk to them in the same way I can my Doctor as I've known him all my life.

Many thanks xxx

dmg24

Where is it that you want to be admitted to? Most mental health units can actually have a negative impact on those who are not in significant crisis. They can be very scary places.

MoneySaverForever

dmg24 wrote: »

Where is it that you want to be admitted to? Most mental health units can actually have a negative impact on those who are not in significant crisis. They can be very scary places.

Thanks for that. I think I just need a break from things for a while and I'm not really sure what would be on offer to someone in my position. I haven't had any health problems before all of this started and I just feel the support I'm getting isn't enough and that it would be good if I could have a proper rest as I'm very tired xxx

dmg24

MoneySaverForever wrote: »

Thanks for that. I think I just need a break from things for a while and I'm not really sure what would be on offer to someone in my position. I haven't had any health problems before all of this started and I just feel the support I'm getting isn't enough and that it would be good if I could have a proper rest as I'm very tired xxx

I'm sorry to say that the NHS is not good for support outside of the actual medical stuff. Many of us have felt your frustration for years. Hopefully your GP will be able to arrange some more intensive home support, such as a CPN or perhaps the Crisis Team. Also, have you contacted Marie Curie? They may be able to offer you more help.

It is not a long term answer, but have you thought about booking yourself into a hotel for a few days? Somewhere nice that you can have a little walk if you want to, but also get some rest and close yourself off from the outside world? I do that quite a lot, I suppose it is my own version of respite.

MoneySaverForever

You know, I never thought of that! thank you I haven't heard of doctors visiting people at home before because whenever I was ill previously he always insisted I visit him at his surgery but I guess that was just for everyday illlnesses and this is different. I appreciate the support I've been given so far but it's really frustrating in that it takes so long to have things in place and the home support is nowhere near the levels I feel I need. I have someone to help me with shopping and housework but I still manage my housework for now and I'm fiercely indepedenet of people invading my private spaces. This will probably sound silly but you've made me smile, good idea with the hotels! I'll see what happens xxx

MrsManda

Your doctor obviously cares a lot about your wellbeing and is worried about you. He probably feels you'll be more comfortable discussing options at home and doesn't want to put unnecessary strain on you. Plus he'll probably be able to take more time to talk to you than during a 15 minute appointment at the surgery.

As dmg24 said, just getting away for a short while would probably do you wonders as you will have something else to focus your mind. Just don't disappear without telling your doctor/CPN etc... so they don't think you're missing.

Is it possible for you to do some voluntary work even if it's just an hour or two a week? It'll get you out of the house, feel useful and get you to meet new people. This may help you focus on something other than your health which will improve your general wellbeing and can actually have a positive effect on your health outcomes.

Let us know how it goes with the doc.
Hugs

mum26kids

I wouldn't read too much in to the GP visiting you at home! In the 'old days' they used to do that alot!!! In fact, to be honest, I would say that you are lucky and have one of the caring old fashioned style ( not necessarily old) GP's who might actually realise his patients are human and have feelings!!!

ERICS_MUM

Hi. First of all let me say how sorry I am about your health problems. I wish you all the best for a successful outcome from your treatment.

Sorry this post is a bit long-winded but it might help a little.

If you like the idea of a hotel, what about a few days at a spa resort where you could have a massage, facial, use the pool/sauna and eat healthily.

Trouble is it would be quite expensive.

I know from experience as an outpatient that "inpatients" in a mental health clinic can be very severely ill and display behaviours that could be very un-nerving for you (I don't mean unsafe, just scarey and upsetting to see how people can suffer from MH probs).

I would strongly advise against having yourself admitted, because I don't think it would give you much respite.

Do you have any family or friends you could stay with for a break ?

This might seem a bit silly but what about joining a beginners' yoga class for some gentle exercise which could calm your mind even if temporarily. Or, a treatment such as reflexology which I personally found really beneficial when I was very ill with depression some years ago.

Please keep in touch with us on this thread and let us know how you get on.

PS - the Samaritans are very helpful, especially in the middle of the night when worries can become almost unbearable. Why not keep their number close at hand ?

Linda xx

Molly41

I have had personal experience re this respite place - I cant praise it highly enough. Its a charity

http://www.maytree.org.uk/

Helped me to start coming to terms with my chronic illness x

daska

MoneySaverForever wrote: »

You know, I never thought of that! thank you I haven't heard of doctors visiting people at home before because whenever I was ill previously he always insisted I visit him at his surgery but I guess that was just for everyday illlnesses and this is different. I appreciate the support I've been given so far but it's really frustrating in that it takes so long to have things in place and the home support is nowhere near the levels I feel I need. I have someone to help me with shopping and housework but I still manage my housework for now and I'm fiercely indepedenet of people invading my private spaces. This will probably sound silly but you've made me smile, good idea with the hotels! I'll see what happens xxx

It can take a long time to start feeling comfortable about not doing things yourself, it's been two years now and I still find myself apologising to people for asking them to do the jobs I can't/shouldn't do. Can you go out and have a coffee with a friend and let them get on with it? Or find another less demanding job that means you're not 'sitting idle' but not overdoing things either?

Hope your GP is able to suggest some solutions and you start feeling more at ease very soon.

MoneySaverForever

Thank you everyone for all your help! it means a lot to me and I just want you to know that. I had my appointment with my doctor at 7:45am this morning and he even asked if he could make us some tea because he'd left home especially early to see me before surgery started at his usual time of 8:30am and hadn't had time to have a cup! he's such a nice man and I really respect him and everything he's done for me. I would like to ask if it's possible in some way for me to have this doctor thanked or commended officially? I've already told him how much his help means and he just shrugs it off saying that he's just doing his job and that he cares about me and wants to see me get well again. He's been my doctor for many years now and I think I can say that he has in many ways been the one that's given me the courage, determination and strength to carry on. I'm sorry if that sounds silly but it's something I want to do.

I wish you all lots of love xxx