advice needed please

kingfisherblue

I'm glad that your son has seen his baby brother - it has probably quelled some of the fear of the unknown. He is fortunate to have such a supportive and understanding mum and his school seems to be handling things well too.

Mrs Manda's post is a wise one - your ex has not forgottten your son, but he does have a lot on his mind at the moment. Believe me, it isn't easy when you have a child born with a condition such as DS. Having said that, your son is still young and rightly expects attention from his dad. perhaps he can arrange to speak to his dad every other day for now, or keep in contact via text? Hospital visiting can be exhausting, and your ex may be struggling to cope with his own emotions, whilst trying to support his new partner, your son, and the baby. It's a difficult time for everyone, but it is possible to come through it unscathed.

You are bound to feel confused - as your son's mother, you want to do what is right for him, but you can also see the pressure that your ex is under. It seems from your post that if you remind your ex, he might see it as you dictating to him, even though that is not what you intend - you're probably right! I think that your son texting his dad to keep in contact and ask him to ring is better than you getting involved. Emotions may run high otherwise, and things are tough enough for everyone at the moemnt as it is.

I know it is a difficult time for you as well, but you are doing a great job in supporting your son. Your son will appreciate it, even if he doesn't say so.

Take care, and keep us posted xx

paidinchickens

Just thought I would pop on for an update KFB

Thanks ever so much for the advice.

DS stayed at his dads for a couple of weeks and they had a row! I was playing go between talking to each and decided they were both as bad. EX still talks to DS as though he is still a baby (so DS says lol)

It all started over Ex wanted DS to get out of bed and go to the beach without DS having a cup of tea! lol I had to explain that I do not function without at least one coffee in the morning .Even christmas morning the kids do not get to start opening gifts until I have a coffee in my hand:rotfl: I know how cruel am I :rotfl:

Ex said he was going to stop on the way.........anyhow I think this was just a way of them both getting things off their chest and everything seems to have calmed down.

I have not heard from ex for a couple of weeks (I never do when things are ok) and DS has been in a panic over his GCSE tests. He is only 14 how they change things!

So not much to tell, nothing mentioned, no calls etc.

I am sure this is not the end of the problems but I am making thse most of the quiet times:)

Thanks for being here for me xxxx

kingfisherblue

Thank you so much for the update. I know what you mean about coffee - I'm the same, even on Christmas morning. My eldest child is now 20, and most mornings she is in work for 7.15, but before she goes for her bus, she brings me a coffee in bed (my chance to relax before the morning rush, rows, and searching for things that the kids know they put out the night before :rotfl:)

It's good that your son and his dad have sorted their differences, no matter how temporary it is. I don't blame you for making the most of the quiet times - take them when you can .

A new baby always changes things. But it's worth reassuring your son that although things will never be the same, it doesn't mean that things have changed for the worse. My son has brought us all so much joy, as would any other child. He makes us laugh at times - just last week, he was insisting that he has a bone in his leg . I wasn't disagreeing with him, but he became quite insistent. I tried to explain that he needed a bone in his leg otherwise it would be too floppy for him to stand. In the end, we found out that he was trying to tell me that he had a pain in his leg. He just couldn't think of the word. So as you can see, communication can be a problem at times, but we get there in the end. (Incidentally, my son has hypermobile joints, hence the pain. He had hidden his boots and we couldn't find them. Because of this, he was wearing trainers, which are not as supportive, therefore causing pain. He normally wears Timberlands with special insoles and we have now found them - he had hidden them in a carrier bag and pushed it down the side of a unit )

I hope your son doesn't worry too much about his GCSE tests, and that he gets the results that he wants.